


Come Back Home

by writeforthefandom



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec still wears his wedding ring, Alec works in a Starbucks, Blood Drinking, Checking up on Alec, Dealing with Emotions, Dreams, Fear, Fighting, Finding Himself, Flashbacks, Getting beaten up, Hospitalisation, Kidnapping, Losing Memories, Lost Alec, Magnus visits every day, Mundane Alec Lightwood, Nightmares, Not knowing who he is, Shadowhunters - Freeform, Student Alec Lightwood, Student parties, Trouble, Trying to get him to remember, Vampires, Wedding, Werewolves, finding memories, friendships, overcoming difficulties, remembering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:26:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 52,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21609034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeforthefandom/pseuds/writeforthefandom
Summary: Alec sees the light before Clary does, and follows it to Clary's room. Jocelyn appears, and is surprised to find Alec there, not her daughter. She explains the situation, setting Alec up for a difficult conversation with Clary. He strikes a deal with Jocelyn, that in the event that Clary does use her rune power to make a new one, they punish her. So he's determined to keep her from using her powers. However, she needs to to take down Jonathan. And so he starts feeling his runes disappear. After saying some brief words to those he's closest to, he leaves the Institute.A year later, we find Alec working a local Starbucks job, and being a student. And we find Magnus visiting the Starbucks every day that Alec is there. Alec is still wearing his wedding ring, so Magnus has hope that perhaps Alec can remember.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood
Comments: 92
Kudos: 316





	1. Chapter 1

Alec saw the little sprite before anyone else did. He glanced around, wondering if anyone else saw it. But no one seemed to. It made him curious, made him question why he was seeing it and why others weren’t. Izzy even passed through it, came right for him.

“Alec,” she starts.

Alec held up his left hand. “I’ll be right back.” He heads into the direction that the light ball is. It moved, and he followed it through the corridors. He seemed to have an idea where it was going. And when it vanished into Clary’s room, he hesitated. What if it was a message for Clary, and not for him? Then surely he wasn’t meant to hear it. And yet here he was, standing in front of Clary’s door. He’s kind of afraid of going in, but he also needed to know what the little ball of light was. It could be Jonathan as well.

He stood there for a minute, then looked around. But there’s no one. So no one else must have seen it. He frowned and opened the door to Clary’s room. He stepped inside, closed the door behind him and looked around the room.

The little ball of light suddenly became a very bright flash. Alec brought his hands up to shield his eyes, but tried to see what it was anyway. Then Clary’s mother appeared and the light vanished.

“Miss Fairchild?” he enquired.

“Alec?” Jocelyn frowned. 

“What are you doing here? How are you here?” Alec was genuinely curious. He wondered if he should go find Clary. He knows exactly how much her mother means to her.

“I’ve been sent by the Angels. They want Clary to stop making any new runes or she’ll lose all her memories of the Shadowhunters and the Downworld.” Jocelyn looked down for a brief moment. 

“Why?” Alec asked. 

“Because they feel like she’s abusing her powers. Bringing people back?” Jocelyn shook her head sadly. 

“But she’s helping people,” Alec said, trying to wrap his head around the Angels demands. He doesn’t understand why they’d want her to stop. She’s been helping people ever since she discovered her powers. And Alec must admit, no matter how much he disliked the girl in the beginning, she became a valuable Shadowhunter. They needed her. 

“I know,” Jocelyn said. She sighed. “I just came here to bring forth this message to her. You must tell her, Alec! Or she’ll lose her abilities, her memories.”

Alec thought about that. The Angels seemed so unfair. He looked at Jocelyn. “Please tell them that if she does again, that they shouldn’t punish her. They should punish me.”

He still felt guilty for killing Clary’s mother. He wondered if he would ever not feel guilty about it. But there had been nothing that he could have done about it. And yet, perhaps now, he could mend his mistake. But at what cost? He wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter now. He would simply keep Clary from using her abilities. He’d make up a sweet little lie. It would be fine. He could do this.

“Alec…” Jocelyn saw the determination in his eyes. She nodded. “I’ll ask them.”

And then she vanished.

Alec stayed there, blinking. He wondered why the Angels were all of a sudden making demands now. But it didn’t seem like a good sign to him. They still needed to track down Jonathan and end him. And Alec was worried they needed Clary for that.

Jonathan seemed way too powerful. He doesn’t know how to handle that. All he knows is that he must keep Clary from knowing this. Because if she knew, she’d try to contact the Angels to try and change the course of their plans.

And he also had a wedding to plan. Though, there was little planning. Most of it was being left to Magnus. Because apparently, having a warlock for a wedding planner, was a brilliant idea. All Alec wanted is to keep it simple. Nothing too big and extravagant. But he knew Magnus. 

The door opened behind him and Alec turned around.

Clary frowned. “Alec? Why are you in my room?” she asked.

“I was searching for you,” Alec lies. “I thought you may be in here.”

“Well, I am now. Did you need me for something?” She smiled.

Alec felt something pull at the strings of his heart. “I was wondering if you had any idea where Jonathan may be?”

Clary shook her head. “No,” she said. She was worried. Jonathan needed to be found and dealt with. And she knew he might die. She didn’t want that, but if it had to happen, she would accept that. She also knew she may be the only one that could take him down. They were siblings after all. She knew he wouldn’t hurt her necessarily.

Alec nodded. “Okay,” he said. “Well, I have a wedding to plan.” He left then, leaving Clary alone in her room. He wondered if he should tell Magnus, but he didn’t want to hurt him. Magnus would call off the wedding probably. And Alec didn’t want that. He couldn’t wait to get married to Magnus.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.  
\----   
And then Jonathan showed his face. Clary convinced them to let her go alone. Alec didn’t like it, but he knew she stood the best chance of taking him down. So he allowed her. When she came back, she was upset. Jace had gone after her. The rest had dispersed to help prepare for the wedding. Alec had stayed there for a minute, until he had felt something burn on his arm.

Alec had fled to his room. Once there, he had pulled up a sleeve and looked down at his arm to see he was missing a rune. So the Angels had listened to Jocelyn, to him. He felt the tears burn in the back of his throat. He knew what this meant. He would lose his memories. By the time he would be married to Magnus, he wouldn’t remember anything.

Licking his lips, Alec takes a piece of paper and a pen. He looked down at it and tried to think of the words to write to Magnus, to Jace, Izzy, Clary. But he doesn’t know what to write down. He felt like he may be on the verge of a mental breakdown. But he had to keep himself together. He had a wedding to attend. A fiancé to marry. So he swallowed back the tears and started writing.  
\-----   
Alec is feeling light on his feet as he dances with Magnus. Even if he knew what was going to happen by the end of the night. He’d been slowly losing his runes. He could feel them burn away one by one. But for now, the rune on his neck stayed. So at least he could pretend like everything was okay.

And it was, for now. The wedding was nothing short of amazing. Nothing too big, luckily. Although Magnus had given it his own flare. And his husband looked absolutely stunning.

Their dance ended and they moved aside. He hid the grimace as another rune burned away. His time was running out. “I’ll be back, okay?”

“Okay,” Magnus said and smiled at him.

Alec left his husband’s side and took his mother’s hand. “Care for a dance?” he asked.

“Of course!” Maryse smiled brightly up at him, and followed him onto the dance floor.

The pair fell into an easy rhythm. Alec smiled at his mother. “Thank you for everything,” he said. “I couldn’t have wished for a better mother. And I hope you will find happiness.”

Maryse frowned, suddenly wondering if everything was okay. “Alec? Are you okay?” She looked into his eyes, but couldn’t decipher the emotions hidden behind them.

“I’m fine,” Alec said, just as another rune burns away. He smiled, and let go of her. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She smiled at him as he moved away.

Alec found Jace and pulled him aside into a secluded corner. He was once in love with Jace. Or so he thought. Alec had always struggled with his sexuality, until he met Magnus. The warlock opened his eyes for him, paved the way for him. And he was Magnus forever grateful. But Jace was his brother. Jace would always be his brother, even if they weren’t actually related. Jace was also his parabatai, and this was going to hurt like hell for them. Because he knew Jace would be able to feel their bond shatter once Alec’s rune disappeared.

“Are you okay?” Jace asked, waving a hand in front of Alec’s face.

Alec blinked and nodded. “Yeah,” he said quickly. “I just wanted to thank you, for everything.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jace chuckles.

“Why? Can’t I thank my brother, my parabatai?” Alec frowned, before smiling. “Just take it.”

“Okay, okay, lovebird.” Jace put his hands up in defeat. He smiled. “Glad to see you’re thankful, for once. Now go enjoy your wedding.”

“I will,” Alec said. “I just need to say something to Izzy.” He nodded to Jace, and left him then to find Izzy. He found his sister dancing with Simon. He quickly cut inbetween. “Can I borrow her for a minute?”

“Of course!” Simon said and twirled away to dance with Clary.

Alec smiled and looked at Izzy. “I love you, Izzy.”

“I love you too, Alec.” Izzy smiled at him as they danced. She had always been supportive of her brother. And she was so glad to see him married now. He deserved all the happiness in the world.

Alec wanted to say how much he was going to miss her, but he couldn’t. He felt a lump in his throat because he truly was going to miss her. He was going to miss everyone. He knew he would never see them again. He blinked to keep the tears at bay.

“Are you okay?” Izzy asked. She could feel something wasn’t right. Something seemed off. She looked at him.

“I’m fine,” Alec said, and smiled down at her. “Let’s just enjoy the rest of the night.” He handed her back to Simon and moved away. He could feel another rune burning away, and slowly, he was starting to forget things. He looked at Magnus and saw him busy with Raphael. Alec smiled, before leaving the room. He needed some fresh air, needed to get as much distance between him and the Institute before he lost all of his memories.

Once he stepped inside, the fresh night air hit him. He breathed in deeply as he felt the tears run down his face. He looked at the Institute, taking in its details, before he left. Walking away from his home was the hardest thing he ever had done. But he knew he needed to. He was about to lose his last few runes and he couldn’t be here when that happened.

He wasn’t even sure what he was going to do with his life as a mundane. Alec had grown up a fighter, a shadowhunter. The thought of being a mundane made him cringe. He wasn’t sure if he could do that.

His hand flew to his neck as it burned. A few seconds later it stopped and his memories were disappearing in quick pace. He found himself wandering the streets of New York. And then, as he found himself a quiet place, his parabatai rune started burning. Alec cried out, sinking to his knees and his hand flying to his side. He pushed it under the fabric and placed it over the spot as it burned. Tears streamed down his face as his parabatai bond broke and the last rune vanished from his body. And then, he felt empty. He felt nothing. He pulled his hand away and it came away red.

Panicking, he pulled the fabrics up and looked at his side, there was blood but no wound. Alec wondered why. And then he wondered why he was here, or who he even was. It felt as if he had just been dropped onto this Earth, into this city, without anything.

Getting up, he started walking. Just walking. Because he didn’t know what else to do.  
\-----   
Jace suddenly cried out, letting go of Clary and falling to his knees. An overwhelming pain took over him. He felt his heart constrict, felt his lungs being squeezed until he had no air left. He gripped his side where his parabatai rune was hurting. It felt as if he was dying. As if he was losing part of his soul. And he knew this feeling. His bond was breaking.

“Jace!?” Clary got down onto her knees with him, holding his shoulder. “Jace, what’s wrong? What’s happening?”

The rest surrounded him as well, including Magnus. But there was no Alec.

“My bond, my parabatai bond, it’s breaking,” Jace gasped. He squeezed his eyes shut as he doubled over in pain. His breathing was laboured. And then… he felt it snap. That string that had connected him and Alec ever since they performed the parabatai ritual, broke in two. Snapped.

“How can that be?” Izzy asked, worried. She looked around for a sign of Alec, but he wasn’t there. “Where’s Alec?”

Magnus looked around. Where was his husband? Why was the parabatai bond breaking? He gulped, the worst scenarios going through his head. What if Alec was dead? If the bond broke, it could only mean that Alec had died. But then, where was he? Why wasn’t he here? Why was he dying? There were so many questions going through his head.

Jace opened his eyes as the pain started to fade, making place for an empty feeling. “He’s gone,” he said, looking up at Magnus with tears in his eyes. “I can’t feel him anymore. Our bond it’s… it’s broken.”

“No,” Magnus said, taking a few steps back. No, it couldn’t be true. Alec had to be alive, had to be somewhere here. There had to be a reasonable explanation for what had happened. But he couldn’t be gone. Magnus wouldn’t accept it. They had just gotten married. This was their wedding! 

He looked around, but Alec was nowhere to be seen. “Alexander!” he called, but nothing. “Why are we all standing here!? We must find him!” A sense of desperation overtook him. But the others dispersed, and called for Alec.

He turned and ran for Alec’s room. Perhaps his husband was there. He opened the door and stepped inside. Magnus scanned every part of the room, but there was no sign of Alec. There was, however, a letter. He frowned and slowly walked over to the desk. He picked up the letter. It was Alec’s handwriting. But through his blurry vision he couldn’t read it. Couldn’t read the letter.

He returned to Jace, where Izzy and Clary were still at his side. Jace looked defeated. He didn’t know what had happened to Alec, but to have his bond break like this… He looked up at Magnus. “What is it?” he asked.

Izzy gently pried the piece of paper from Magnus’s fingers and read it. She covered her mouth as tears started streaming down her face. “Oh no…”

“What does it say?” Clary asked.

Izzy cleared her throat.

“Dear Magnus,

By the time you’ll be reading this letter, I will have forgotten everything that has to do with the Shadowhunters and the Downworld. My memories will be gone. I won’t remember you. I won’t remember anyone. If you find this letter, that means my bond with Jace must have been broken. That we’re no longer parabatai. That Jace has felt the bond break.

I considered telling you, telling any of you, but you’d try everything to change the course. The Angels sent Jocelyn Fairchild to warn Clary that she couldn’t use her abilities anymore. That she would lose her memories if she did. So I asked Jocelyn to beg the angels to not do it. But I guess instead of punishing Clary, they decided to punish me. Perhaps for asking such a thing, for all my sins that I’ve committed. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter now.

I won’t remember you. But I regret absolutely nothing. Magnus, I love you. And no matter how much this hurts, I’d want you to move on. We’ve always known that we wouldn’t stay together forever. You’re immortal, after all. And I’m so sorry that our wedding was the final day we got to spend together. But you must move on. For yourself.

I love you. All of you. Please don’t try to contact the Angels, change their plans. It may turn out worse. What has happened has happened. 

With a lot of love,

Alec.”

Magnus shook his head, nostrils flaring with every breath he took. Breathing was painful. He felt like he was drowning. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. They had just gotten married. Finally gotten married. And now he would lose his husband? How cruel of a faith would that be? This couldn’t be true. 

But it was. He looked down at Clary, Jace and Izzy and saw the pain in their eyes, their sadness. Magnus wasn’t the only one who had lost Alec. They had too. 

Maryse joined them so Clary explained what the letter had said. Maryse had read it as well, before covering her mouth with her hand. “Oh no…”

“Damnit Alec,” Clary said, clenching her fists. She was forever grateful that he had defended her against the Angels, but to have the Angels punish him? He didn’t deserve that. She felt an incredible sense of guilt. It was her fault that Alec was now a mundane. That he wouldn’t remember anything. And there was nothing that they could do.

“This can’t be true,” Magnus whispered. He couldn’t lose his husband. Not so shortly. He didn’t understand why his life would be so cruel to him. He wondered what he and Alec had done to deserve this.

“I’m so sorry,” Clary said. “This is my fault.”

“No,” Jace said. “You helped save the world, Clary.”

“But if Alec had never found Jocelyn, this wouldn’t have happened.” Clary looked down at Jace and saw the pain in his eyes.

“No, if he hadn’t, I would have lost you.” Jace managed to get up. He took Clary’s hands. “This is a small blessing, no matter how painful it is.” He looked at Magnus. “I’m sorry.”

Magnus just stood there, feeling emptiness crawl into his chest. Just when everything seemed to be going right… He should have known his happiness wouldn’t last long. It never had. He had never been able to hold on to lovers. And this was no different.

He promised himself that he would either find a way to get Alec his memories back, or to never love anyone else again. Because he couldn’t imagine loving anyone else but Alec. He didn’t feel complete without the shadowhunter.   
\-----   
Magnus stepped into his apartment and closed the door behind him. He looked around his apartment quietly. Maryse and Izzy had insisted at first that Magnus stay at the Institute. But he had refused. He couldn’t. It would hurt too much.

But then, being here, on his own, was hurting more than he could have ever imagined. He made himself a drink and threw it back. He knew drinking wasn’t the answer, and yet it was the only thing he wanted to do right now. Get himself as drunk as he could get, pass out, and wake up in the morning to this being all a nightmare. That he would wake up in his bed with Alec, his husband. He knew that wasn’t going to happen. But perhaps he could dream it possible.

Not having Alec with him made him feel so alone. He threw back another drink and closed his eyes. Perhaps he was simply a big joke to this universe. Like he had always been. Hundreds of years old, waiting for his one true love. And then losing him just when they got married. And Alec even telling him to move on.

Magnus was sure he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. There was simply no way that he would be able to move on from this. He would forever carry this emptiness in his heart.

He threw open the doors to his bedroom, hoping to find Alec there. But the bed was empty. He let himself fall onto the bed and closed his eyes. 

“Please come back to me,” he whispered. “I need you, Alexander. I can’t… I can’t live without you…” He sniffled, letting the tears stream freely. “Please come back to me…”

Magnus eventually cried himself to sleep. Something he hadn’t done in quite some time. Slowly, darkness took him over, and he fell into a restless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

A loud beeping noise was disturbing his sleep. Alec groaned and cracked an eye open, coming face to face with his alarm clock. He groaned and reached out, shutting off the alarm. Then he turned onto his other side, curled up and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to get up and face his responsibilities.

It had been a year. A year since he found himself wandering the streets, with no real memories of what he was doing here. It had taken him several days to find himself a place of his own. He had had no money. He had barely known who he was. All that he had known was that his name was Alexander Lightwood. Although he tended to just go by Alec. It was easier.

With some help of some organisations, he managed to get his life on track. He worked part time at a Starbucks store. He studied Law. But it wasn’t what he had expected of his life. But then, he barely remembered what he was like before he woke up with no memories. He’d undergone therapy to try and get his memories back, but they just didn’t seem there.

Another strange thing, he had been roaming the streets with a wedding ring around his finger. It was something that he still wore, just in case he may remember some day. But it seemed unlikely. Perhaps this was just a dream and he’d one day wake up being his sold self, whoever that was.

Alec sighed and sat up in bed. He grabbed his phone and turned it on, waiting for his phone to start up. Once it had, he had a quick check through social media, before leaving the warmth and the comfort of his bed. He switched on the light in the room and looked around.

His room was bare. He didn’t have any photos of himself or other people. Nothing that showed who he was. It was just four walls with a desk, a bed and a closet for his clothes. He had the blinds shut so the sun couldn’t wake him up.

He went into the bathroom. He splashed some cold water onto his face and looked into the mirror. He still looked the same. He was still stuck in this nightmare. He looked at his neck, his chest, expecting something to be there. But there was nothing. It was frustrating. He didn’t feel like himself. He felt like he was missing something very important about himself, about his life. As if he was missing something, something that if he knew, it could make him whole again.

After quickly brushing his teeth, Alec went back into his bedroom and pulled out a pair of black jeans and a black tshirt. 90% of his clothes were black. He got dressed and checked his phone. It was getting close to 7am and he knew he needed to get going so he’d be on time on his job.

He quickly pulled on his shoes and tied the laces. Then he grabbed his phone and his keys, his wallet and backpack and left his bedroom. He made his way through the hallway, down the stairs and towards the front door. He opened it, stepped outside and shut it. He didn’t even bother to lock the door. He didn’t have anything for anyone to steal.

His house was as empty as he felt.

Alec unlocked the lock on his bike and got onto it. That was something that he had to learn as well, how to cycle. He didn’t have a driver’s license or a car. And right now, he didn’t really have the money to get it, either.

He cycled through the streets of the city. It was reasonably calm right now. But then it was still really early. 

He made it to the Starbucks. He locked the bike and went inside, greeting his co-workers.

“Another sleepless night?” one of them asked.

“I slept,” Alec said and shrugged.

“Not much, by the looks of it.” She frowned, taking in Alec. 

“Shit happens.” And the conversation ended. Alec wasn’t in the mood to talk about it. He never was, no matter how much any of his co-workers tried. He hated this job. He hated going to school. He hated his entire life. And yet there was nothing he could really change about it. He would just have to suffer through it.

The first customers started streaming in slowly, ready to get some coffee into their systems and start the day. Alec didn’t understand why people liked coffee that much. He definitely didn’t. Not that that was relevant to his job. All he needed to do was write down orders and help make them. It wasn’t that hard. He didn’t need to like coffee for it. He didn’t need to taste them. Luckily.

That would ruin his day.

As he took the first orders, he wondered what the customers were doing with their life. Were they happy? Did they remember? They probably did. Alec was just a freak who couldn’t remember who he was. Perhaps he’d done something stupid. Perhaps he had gotten brain damage. But hospital scans had showed nothing of the kind. Everyone who knew his story was perplexed by him. Alec was perplexed by himself. He wondered if this empty feeling was ever going to go away.

The hours passed by way too slow. It was so dull, working here. He hated every minute of it. He tried not to, but he just did. Perhaps it was a side-effect of not knowing who he really was. Of feeling like he didn’t belong here. That he wasn’t this… mundane.

When his shift was finally coming to an end, a familiar customer came in, as always. Alec knew this guy. The guy seemed very familiar to him, he just didn’t know why. But what he did know was that whenever the guy walked into the store, Alec would feel butterflies in his stomach. A strange feeling, considering Alec didn’t like feelings. He avoided his emotions. Bottled them up as much as he could. Drank them away during parties. He didn’t need emotions. He wouldn’t know why.

Yet this guy, this Magnus Bane, stirred something inside him. It was a feeling he liked, and yet he repressed it anyway. It was best to keep his distance from people.

“Your usual order?” Alec asked, already ticking in the order into the computer and grabbing a cup. 

“Yep!” Magnus smiled at Alec.

Alec smiled back and wrote down the customer’s name onto the cup, as well as his order, before passing it to the side for one of his colleagues to make it. 

“Are you free after this?” Magnus asked.

Alec was caught off guard by that question. His cheeks tinted red and he ducked his head. “I am,” he said.

“We should spend some time together then,” Magnus suggested.

Alec thought about that. But he wasn’t certain. He gave a shrug, let Magnus pay for his order before disappearing behind the back. He got changed and grabbed his stuff, considering the offer. He did quite like Magnus. And the man felt so familiar. But Alec couldn’t imagine himself loving a man. And he knew Magnus seemed quite set on becoming more than just friends. And Alec wasn’t sure if he could deal with that. 

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn’t hear anyone coming into the room in the back.

“You should go out with him,” she said.

Alec opened his eyes and looked at the girl. “Why would you say that?”

“You like him, don’t you?” She raised an eyebrow.

Alec shrugged. “I don’t feel things. I don’t feel emotions.”

“Bullshit,” she said, sounding accused. “Everyone does, you do too. Even if you hide them. Go out with him. Enjoy yourself for once. You deserve happiness too, Alec.”

Alec swallowed and swung his backpack onto his back. “Happiness is a construct of this society.” He left then, brushing past her. He saw that she wasn’t done with this conversation, but he was. He snuck out the back to avoid Magnus and calm himself down a little.

But of course Magnus would know this. Alec almost bumped into him. “Shit, sorry.” Alec took a step back and looked at Magnus. 

“You’re fine,” Magnus said and smiled at him. “So, let’s go.” He offered his hand.

Alec eyed that hand with uncertainty. He shook his head and started walking. “I didn’t agree to spending time with you.” 

“No, you’ve been avoiding me.” Magnus kept up with him easily. He was determined to get Alec to spend some time with him. He had to. He had to know how much Alec remembered. His husband at least still wore their wedding ring. That was a good sign to him. 

“Please just, leave me alone.” Alec unlocked his bike and turned to Magnus. “You know, this is stalking. I could report you to the police.”

“Would you?” Magnus asked.

Alec rolled his eyes. “I don’t know you.”

“You know my order and my name, that’s a start.” Magnus took a sip from his cup and looked at Alec. “Alexander-“

Alec whirled around and looked at Magnus. “How do you know my full name? No one knows it.” He frowned.

“Well, Alec seems shortened. So my best guess was that it was Alexander.” Magnus took a step back, seeing the confusion in Alec’s eyes. How he wanted to confess that he knew Alec. That they were married. But he couldn’t. Alec had made it very clear in his letter that messing with Alec’s memories may just make everything worse. Magnus didn’t want the Angel’s wrath brought upon Alec even worse than it already had been.

But Magnus was desperate to have Alec remember. Today was their wedding anniversary and the fact that he couldn’t spend it with Alec, his Alec, was breaking him.

Alec’s family had been keeping him away from Alec. But Magnus was determined to get his husband back. He couldn’t simply watch Alec grow old on his own. There was no way he was going to let that happen. He needed Alec. And he knew Alec needed him. Even if would take some time.

Alec was fighting a war in his head. He knew that the guy knew more. Might even know who he was. And yet… Alec felt like he needed to keep his distance. He was afraid of getting too close to anyone. And yet he felt like he was connected to him, to Magnus. Like there was something between them, even if he was a total stranger to him.

“I can’t,” Alec said, getting onto his bike. “I don’t know you.” He cycled away, trying to keep his tears at bay.

Magnus had been coming into the shop for the past month. Every single time he’d ordered the same thing. Every single time it had been at the end of his shift. And every single time Magnus had asked him to spend some time with him. It wasn’t even a date. That word hadn’t been mentioned by either of them. Just spending some time. That wasn’t so hard. But Alec couldn’t. He was too afraid. And he didn’t even know why.

It was frustrating to him. He didn’t know what to do with his life. Magnus could be his chance to find some happiness, perhaps even find out some things about himself. So why didn’t he dare take that chance? Something was telling him to stay away. Not to get too close. Even if he kind of wanted to. Magnus seemed to know more than he let on. Alec wasn’t stupid. But getting close to Magnus was terrifying him. Just the thought had him panicking.

It seemed so stupid.

Finally arriving at the University, Alec locked up his bike and found his way through the massive building. He didn’t like being here. He didn’t like being anywhere, if he was being honest. Yet it was either study and a part time job or get a full time job. And since he didn’t have any school diplomas, getting a full time job was quite difficult.

Getting into university was already difficult. He had had to do so many tests and study so hard. It was a small miracle he even managed to get in.

Alec found the lecture room where he needed to be. He sat himself down in the back, opened up his laptop to take notes, and let the dullness of his life bore him.  
\-----  
Magnus watched Alec leave in a hurry. He sighed, tossed the coffee cup into a trashcan and headed back the way he came. Alec was so resistant to him. Always keeping his distance.

Alec had changed in many ways the past year. He was thinner, less muscular. He had dark circles under his eyes and always seemed to carry an air of being upset or moody. He repressed his emotions. And he definitely didn’t seem to remember anything.

The first few days without Alec were Hell. It still was, but a little less. At least now he could go see Alec and keep an eye on him. After Magnus had found out that it wasn’t a joke the next morning, he’d fallen deep down into a depressive episode. Maryse eventually managed to pull him out, telling him where Alec was staying and what he was doing with his life. But she had warned him to stay away.

And he had. Until about a month ago when he had simply shrugged the warning off. But seeing Alec every day was difficult. Because all Magnus wanted to do was hug his husband and kiss him and tell him he loved him. But he couldn’t. He knew that much. No matter how difficult it was. This was not his Alec. This was not Shadowhunter Alec. This was mundane Alec.

Magnus wished he knew a solution. In the first few months, he had been trying everything to find a way to get Alec back to him. He’d even tried summoning Angels. Which left him drained of his magic for a few days and a burn that needed to heal on its own. Ever since, the Institute had been guarding him and keeping a close eye on him.

Everyone was having it tough dealing with the loss of Alec. Jace had lost a parabatai. In the aftermath, he’d been in his room for days. No one had been able to come in or to talk him out of it. Jace too had tried everything he could think of to get Alec back. But nothing had worked. Clary eventually managed to get him out of his room. Jace had been doing better since. He focused on the missions he was given mostly, to keep his mind off of the loss of his parabatai.

Izzy found it really hard too. She had come over to Magnus’s place quite often. And they’d just sat in silence on the balcony, staring ahead of them. There were no words to be exchanged. Nothing that could soothe the loss.

Maryse had been the strongest of them all. She’d been upset too, obviously. But she’d been keeping them together ever since, making sure none of them were doing stupid things. None of them needed a babysitter. But they did need Maryse. She was their rock as they all dealt with losing Alec.

Magnus arrived at his apartment building. He quickly went up to his left and went inside, closing the door behind him. He looked around. Everything was still exactly the same. His loft felt so empty without Alec.

“There you are,” Izzy said, getting up from the couch. “Where have you been?” she asked.

“Oh you know, just wandering around.” Magnus shrugged.

“You’ve been seeing him again, haven’t you?” Izzy offered a gentle smile, letting Magnus know that it was okay to tell her. She knew it already anyway.

“Yeah,” Magnus mumbled. He flopped down into a chair and sighed. “I’ve been trying to get him to spend some time with me. Maybe he’ll remember.”

“Oh Magnus…” Izzy sat down onto his lap and hugged him. “You know what he wrote. Messing with him may make it even worse. The Angels weren’t exactly kind.”

“No, the Angels will know that our love is stronger than their spite.” Magnus let himself be hugged. He closed his eyes as he kept his tears at bay. He didn’t want to cry. He hated crying.

They both remained quiet. Izzy wanted her brother back badly, but she was afraid that the Angels would punish them if they tried anything to get him back. She didn’t like the Angels. She may be a Shadowhunter, but having Alec be punished like this was inherently cruel. And she had never thought the Angels capable of such cruelty.

Alec had been their best. Alec had been destined to lead. And now he was living a very dull, mundane life. And she could see, from the times she had followed him as a glamoured Shadowhunter, that he wasn’t doing that well. She could see that this was not the kind of life for him. But interfering may just make everything worse. And she didn’t want that either.

Eventually, she got off of his lap and looked at him. “We’re all missing him, Magnus. But there is nothing that we can do.”

“But there has to be!” Magnus got up and started pacing. He had already tried pretty much anything. He wouldn’t know what else he could try. But there had to be something that could bring Alec back to him. That could restore his memories. There just had to be. Magnus refused to live on life without Alec. He couldn’t. He needed Alec. 

“I don’t know,” Izzy said. “We’ve all tried so many things. He just… he doesn’t remember anything anymore.”

“He still wears the wedding ring,” Magnus said. “As long as he does that, I will not give up hope. I can’t give up hope.” He refused to give up hope. He just couldn’t. One way or another, he would get his Alec back. He would spend the rest of his life with his husband. Magnus would find a way. He was a powerful warlock. He could do this. He knew he could. He just needed to figure out how. And he would. There was no way that he was going to let Alec live this mundane life of his. Alec was clearly unhappy.

Perhaps if Alec had looked happy, Magnus would have been able to stay away. But Alec wasn’t. He was clearly not meant to live a mundane life. So Magnus would figure out a way to get him back. To make him a Shadowhunter again, like he was meant to be. If he gave up hope now, he could as well just end his life maybe. Because it didn’t seem worth living without having Alec at his side. They’d already been through so much. They could survive this.

“Well, be careful.” Izzy looked at Magnus, saw the determination in his eyes. “We don’t want to make it worse.”

“Of course,” Magnus said. He smiled kindly at Izzy. “Thanks for stopping by.”

“Well, someone has to check on you,” Izzy said. She smiled at him. “Dinner is at 6, btw. At my mother’s and Luke’s place. Are you still coming?”

“Yeah,” Magnus said. “Of course I am. I’ll see you there.”

“Okay then. See you later!” Izzy left the loft.

Magnus sat back down into a chair and sighed. He just had to hope that one day, he and Alec would be together again, like they were meant to.


	3. Chapter 3

Alec absolutely hated lectures. They were the most boring part of his day. All he did was sit there and listen. He took notes, obviously. Made the assignments that they were given. But honestly, lectures really sucked. Everything about going to school sucked. He felt like he didn’t belong here. Like this wasn’t what he was supposed to be doing. And yet here he was, sitting all alone in the back, doodling some random symbol that had been stuck in his mind for a while now.

As the lecture drew to a close, he shut his laptop, causing the stray piece of paper he was doodling on to fly away. He groaned, getting up to get it, only to see one of the girls pick it up and look at it.

“What’s this?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Just a doodle,” he said.

“Is it some kind of language?” She looked at him in curiosity.

Alec looked at her. He knew this girl. She’d been the one to show him around when he first arrived here. She was kind and caring. Attractive for sure. Tall, with long blonde hair. Very smart. She consecutively got the highest grade of any of their classmates. Which was impressive. Alec admired that about her. Her name was Lisa, she was a little younger than he was.

“I have no clue,” he answered, holding his hand out. “I would like it back though.”

Lisa chuckled and handed him back the piece of paper. “You should really be paying attention in class, Alec. Not doodling.”

“This class is mind numbing,” Alec responded. “Boring.”

“Then why are you studying Law?” Lisa crossed her arms over her chest.

Around them, students were piling out. Alec kind of wanted to leave as well, but he had an inkling that Lisa would simply follow him. And he wasn’t particularly fond of being followed.

“I have to do something with my life.” He folded the piece of paper and put it into his backpack, along with his laptop. 

“But this obviously doesn’t interest you.” Lisa walked up the few stairs and stood at the door. She waited for Alec. As soon as he joined her, they walked together to their lockers. They happened to have lockers right next to each other. Quite handy in some cases, like now. “So what does interest you?”

“I’ve no clue.” Alec shrugged again. He really didn’t know what interested him. He barely knew himself. He felt like he was but a mere shell of the person he perhaps once was. His hand flew to his ring and he touched it and twisted it around his finger. A nervous habit he had developed since the beginning.

“That’s a wedding ring,” Lisa noticed, taking in the ring around Alec’s finger. “Or at the very least, it’s an engagement ring. Are you engaged, or even married?”

Alec groaned. He opened his locker and looked at her. “I don’t know, okay? I don’t know what interests me. I don’t even know who I really am! I woke up a year ago wandering the city and having no recollection of my life before that. So am I married? Not that I know of. But maybe?”

Lisa took in that response. She looked at Alec. He seemed to be telling the truth. Which was strange. Alec never opened up about himself. This was the first time he’d really told anything interesting about himself.

“We should go get some food,” she suggested. 

At the mention of food, Alec’s stomach rumbled. He hadn’t eaten yet that day. Didn’t feel like it either. He ate because he had to, not necessarily because he wanted to. It was a burden. But he did need to eat. He looked at Lisa briefly, sighed and nodded. “Sure.”

Lisa smiled brightly. “I’ll crack you some day, Alec.” She chucked her back into her locker and shut it before turning to Alec. “Well, let’s go! There’s a party tonight as well. You should come.”

Alec shut his locker and looked at her. “And get drunk? Not in the mood.” He swung his backpack over his shoulder. “After you, then.”  
\-----  
Grabbing dinner with Lisa was a nicer experience than Alec had imagined at first. She was really kind, though she talked quite a lot. Alec just tended to listen. He wasn’t a very talkative person himself. They had gone to a local Italian restaurant. The pasta had been absolutely amazing. And for a decent price as well. He would remember this place.

“So, Alec,” Lisa said as she took a sip of her wine. “You claim to not know who you are. Don’t you even remember when you were born? Your parents? Siblings?”

Alec shook his head. He looked away, feeling embarrassed. He didn’t know anyone, really. As far as he had been aware, he had no parents, no siblings. No friends of his own. He hadn’t been registered as a citizen of New York City a year ago. He’d just been a random nobody that someone had noticed and called the right agencies for. And now here he was, a year later, studying something absolutely boring.

“As far as I am aware, I just appeared some day.” He shrugged, trying not to let it bother him. But it did bother him. And he hated that. It bothered him how he didn’t know anything about himself. How could someone not know who he was? Not have any memories of his life? His childhood? He didn’t understand that. All that there was, was an empty darkness inside of him. And he sometimes felt uncertain on how to handle that.

“How strange.” Lisa saw that it bothered him, even as he shrugged it off. Alec was hiding something, it seemed. Even if he wasn’t aware of what he was hiding. She wondered if this was just play-pretend, but she guessed not. He’d be too good of an actor to play-pretend for so long, to make it seem so real. There were many great actors out there. And if Alec was one of them, she wondered why he hadn’t gone to an acting arts school.

“How come you’re single?” Lisa asked.

Alec was caught off guard by that question. Why was he single? Perhaps because he felt that no one could ever uphold to his standards. And he felt like he wasn’t single at all. Alec felt like he belonged to someone, even if he didn’t know who. After all, who wears a wedding ring but is supposed to be single? Unless he’s divorced, of course. But that would be weird. Alec was young, still. That meant he would have gotten married and then divorced quite fast. It seemed unlikely.

Though his entire life seemed unlikely. And yet, here he was. Some strange being that didn’t know who he was, trying to figure out this mundane, boring world. Alec sometimes wondered if he would ever get the hang of it. Maybe not.

“I don’t know,” he answered eventually.

“You’re quite handsome. You must have loads of girls asking you out.” Lisa cocked her head in curiosity. Perhaps this was quite a personal question. But whoever didn’t try, never won.

“Some have,” Alec said. “But I’m not really interested in dating someone.” Once more, he was playing with the ring on his finger. It gave him a sense of calm and peacefulness. Whenever he felt conflicted or anxious he would twist the ring on his finger and feel a little better. It was his getaway. He knew the ring was important to him, even if he didn’t know exactly why. He would never take it off. He felt like if he took it off, he may as well never find out who he really was. And Alec was quite determined to figure out who he was. To remember. At some point. Hopefully.

“Why not?”

He wanted to roll his eyes. Why would he date someone? Alec had decided to keep his emotions at bay. They were nothing but a distraction to him. He didn’t need them. Didn’t need feelings. And yet, whenever Magnus walked into the Starbucks he worked at, whenever Alec even thought of Magnus, his stomach would feel like it had butterflies. His heart would be doing somersaults. As if to tell him that Magnus was someone important to him.

“I don’t feel like dating. I don’t have emotions and I don’t care for feelings. They’re all a distraction.” 

Lisa frowned then. She didn’t believe him. Everyone had emotions. Everyone felt things, even if they supressed as much of it as they could. Alec definitely seemed like someone who would suppress his emotions. But he had them, she was definitely sure of that.

“Bullshit,” she said. “Everyone has emotions and everyone feels.” She leaned back in her chair and took another sip of her wine. “Even you, Alec.”

Alec looked at her. He grimaced, shoved his chair back. “I have to go,” he said.

Lisa got up and quickly grabbed his hand. She could feel Alec freeze, his entire body stiffening. But he didn’t pull away. He just stood there, not looking at her.

“Walk me to the party,” she said.

“Why?” Alec asked, turning back to her.

“Because the streets are dangerous for a girl like me. Especially at night.” Lisa let go of Alec’s hand, pulled her wallet from her purse and put the money they needed to pay on the table. She waved at a waiter, who came to check up on them. After confirming that it was the right amount, the waiter left.

“You seem perfectly capable of navigating them on your own, though.” Alec looked at her as hoisted his bag onto his shoulder. 

“Please?” Lisa said, a little more quiet now.

“Okay,” Alec agreed. He rolled his eyes at her smile, and guided her outside. “Lead the way, then.”

Lisa hooked her arm into his and started walking, tugging Alec along. “Are you sure you don’t want to join the party? Perhaps you’ll relax a little.”

Alec shook his head. “I have assignments to do. I need to get up early tomorrow.” He shrugged as he walked with her through the streets of New York. He knew that they looked like a couple perhaps. It felt wrong. He wanted to get away from her, but he didn’t.

“Awh come on,” Lisa said, looking at him with pouty lips. “You’ll be fine. Just stay for a drink or two. You could leave at any moment.”

Exasperated, he nodded. “Fine, fine,” he said, giving in.

“Yay!”

The rest of the walk they were quiet. Lisa didn’t ask him anything else, and he was glad about that. He enjoyed the relative silence as they walked.  
\-----  
Magnus knocked on Maryse’s door. He didn’t actually want to be here. He wanted to go out and see what Alec was doing. But he had promised to come. And he knew that if he didn’t join them for dinner, they would track him down and dragged him back. Because none of them wanted to interfere with Alec. Try to see if he remembered something. But he did. Magnus had to bring Alec back.

The door opened and he was greeted by Simon who let him in. Magnus stepped inside, immediately heading for the living room where the noises were coming from. It seemed like everyone was already there.

“Magnus!” Maryse smiled at him in greeting. “I’m glad you joined us.” 

“Thanks,” Magnus said and forced a small smile. He sat down and looked around. 

“How are you doing?” Maryse asked.

Magnus shrugged. “I’m holding on, I guess.” He avoided everyone’s gazes. He really didn’t feel like talking at all. He’d rather be back in his own loft, or tracking Alec to make sure that he was okay.

“Izzy told me you’d been going to see him.” Maryse looked at Magnus, seeing how uncomfortable he was with this conversation. But it needed to happen. Because they had all promised to leave Alec be. They didn’t want to invoke the wrath of the Angels and make it even worse. No matter how much they missed Alec.

Magnus sighed, looking at Maryse. “Yes, I have.” He shrugged. “No big deal. He doesn’t… He doesn’t remember anything.” He looked down, feeling tears burn at the back of his throat. He swallowed them down. He wouldn’t cry. Not now, not here. Not with this many people around.

“Oh Magnus,” Maryse said. She felt sympathy for him. She knew just how much Magnus was missing Alec. She missed her son too. But there was nothing that they could do. As Magnus said, Alec didn’t remember anything. And so, trying to make him remember could be dangerous. And Alec seemed to be doing okay. He was studying. He was working. He had his own place.

But she could understand how hard it was for Magnus to stay away. After all, Alec was Magnus’s husband. Magnus had lost him just when they’d gotten married. And she could understand how hard that was. But still. The letter that Alec had written had made it very clear that trying to make Alec remember could just as well make it worse. And none of them wanted that to happen.

“Let’s go and eat,” Maryse said, letting the conversation go for now. 

They all got up and headed to the dining room where they sat down. Magnus took out his phone and texted one of his friends, asking them to check up on Alec. To find him and report back to him on what he was doing. Magnus couldn’t put Alec out of his head. He felt responsible for keeping Alec safe.

The Downworld knew that Alec was a mundane now. And although the Downworld and the Shadowhunters had been united, there were still some rogue Downworlders left. And Magnus was afraid they may target Alec. He didn’t want that. So he had put up wards around Alec’s home, the university, the Starbucks. All in the hope that it was keeping his husband safe. So far it had.

He kept quiet throughout dinner. He didn’t really feel like talking. No one tried talking to him, and he was grateful for that. Magnus was a social person, normally. But at the moment, he kept himself mostly separated. 

Every once in a while he would look at Clary and Jace and feel jealous. The fact that Clary was supposed to have lost her memories instead of Alec hurt. He didn’t blame her. He blamed Alec, partly. Because Alec had messed with the Angels plans. He even felt angry at times. But he kept that to himself. It was unfair for him to feel angry or jealous at them. It wasn’t their fault. Wasn’t Clary’s fault. No matter how much he missed Alec, he couldn’t blame anyone. Things had happened as they had. There was no turning back time now.

Besides, turning back time in itself was a very dangerous thing to do. And most difficult as well.

Magnus kept his glass filled. Being a warlock had its advantages. After all, he had a high tolerance for alcohol. He could throw back quite some glasses, bottles, and not even be bothered by it. That’s how he’d been holding on. Magnus had always taken to alcohol whenever he was feeling down. But the past year he’d been drinking a lot more than he was supposed to. It didn’t really affect him that much. But he knew the others were worried about him. Not that they needed to be. Magnus could take care of himself quite fine. He supposed it was nice to be worried about though.

Magnus was pulled from his thoughts when his phone buzzed. He pulled it out and checked his messages. He frowned, getting up.

“I need to go,” he said “Thank you for the dinner.”

“Where are you going?” Maryse asked, worried.

“I just… I need some space and time for myself,” Magnus said. “Bye.” He left before he could be stopped. He quickly hurried outside and walked away. He checked his phone again and frowned. The fact that Alec was at a student party worried him. Alec hadn’t gone to many parties. And the ones he had attended the past year had been small. This was apparently a bigger student party, with a lot of alcohol. Alec was never good with alcohol. He had a fairly low tolerance.

So Magnus hurried along to the address he’d been given. He was keen on making sure that Alec was okay. That he wasn’t going to drink too much. He felt like an overprotective parent at times. But he had to be. Alec was his husband. Even if Alec’s memories were gone, he was deadset on protecting his husband to the best of his abilities. Alec deserved at least that much.


	4. Chapter 4

Alec held the standard red cup with something in it. He wasn’t entirely sure. He wasn’t well-versed in the many types of alcohol that existed in the world. He never really drank. He didn’t like drinking and getting drunk.

And yet, he happened to be on his fifth cup. Perhaps he needed to slow down. The music was too loud for him. There were too many people here. The lights were too bright for his liking. He didn’t feel too well. Which was probably thanks to the alcohol. Alec had already figured out that he was a light drinker, not like the rest of the students. He couldn’t throw back shot after shot and be okay. He would stumble after one.

Lisa approached him. He smiled at her, took her hand and had her do a little twirl. She giggled and seemed to blush. That may just be the lighting. Or the alcohol. Or both. Whatever.

“You seem kind of happy,” she said, looking up at him. “Mister Tall, Dark and Handsome.”

“Iss tha- that what th- they call me?” Alec slurred. He chuckled, a grin forming on his lips. “S- sounds quite quite good.”

“Damn, you really are a lightweight.” Lisa chuckled as she did another twirl on his request. She then took the cup from him. “You should probably stop drinking if you don’t want to get drunk.”

“I’m already am,” Alec said, giggling. His head felt a little light. He felt like he was floating on air, perhaps. He wasn’t sure how to describe what he was feeling. It was something he had never felt before. He kind of liked it. He looked down at Lisa, who was a bit shorter than he was. “You’re pretty,” he managed to say.

Lisa raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Is that so, Mr. Lightwood?” 

“Quite so,” he answered. “I I like tha- that. Mr. Lightwood. Sa- say it a- again.” 

“Mr. Lightwoo-“ Lisa couldn’t finish before lips were on hers. She closed her eyes in response and kissed him back, hands coming up to rest on his shoulders. 

This was quite unexpected. Alec had always been very stoic and closed off. But here they were, kissing. And he seemed to be enjoying it too. But she knew he was quite drunk.

Alec pulled back first and looked down at her. He smiled and took her hands from his shoulders, holding them in his own. They felt wrong, not like the hands he was supposed to be holding. And yet, through the alcoholic haze buzzing through his system, it felt nice to hold her hands, look into her eyes. She had always been kind to him, cared about him.

“Are you okay?” Lisa asked.

“Qui- Quite fine,” Alec answered. 

Lisa chuckled and grinned at him. “You’re a really good kisser. Have you been practising?”

“No no,” Alec said and giggled. This feeling was quite unreal. “I need need another dri – drink,” he said.

She handed him back his red cup, and he chugged it down just like that. She laughed, finding it quite adorable.

Alec dropped the cup then, eyes growing wide and a hand going to his mouth. He remembered a black-haired beauty. With fingers that sparked blue. Perfectly done makeup. He was gorgeous. And then he remembered putting a ring on that man’s finger. And the man doing the same to him. He blinked then as Lisa came back into view. He stumbled back, looking around with wide eyes.

“Alec?” Lisa asked, worried about him now. “Hey, are you okay?” She reached out to him, but he harshly slapped her hand away.

“I need to go home,” he said, body shaking. His eyes darted around uncertainly, trying to find a way out through the bodies dancing. He didn’t want to push his way through really. But he needed to get out of here. Needed to take a minute to calm himself down. Because he wasn’t sure what he just saw, an old memory? Was he starting to remember? 

“Alec,” Lisa said gently, grabbing his hand and holding it. “You’re too drunk to go home,” she said. “Why don’t you stay over at my place?”

“No!” Alec said, feeling panic rising in his chest. “No!” He turned away from her and pushed his way through the crowd. There were people trying to dance with him. He was unsteady on his feet, stumbling often. He managed to keep himself from faceplanting though. He didn’t feel well. His head was spinning. He was nauseous.

A hand around his waist had him stopping in his tracks. He struggled briefly, but in his drunken state found it quite difficult to fight back against whoever was holding him.

“Where are you going, handsome?” a voice whispered.

It was male. Definitely male. Alec shivered, turning around in the male’s grasp and looking into dark eyes. It was a classmate.

“Le- let me go,” Alec said, trying to sound confident. Even if he was feeling quite insecure and anxious. He really needed to get out of here.

“Awh, come on man, relax,” he said. “Here, why don’t you join me?”

Alec felt himself being tugged away from the crowd, into a bathroom. The lights turned on and Alec tried to focus his hazy mind on getting out of here. He didn’t really understand what was happening. Suddenly, he was backed against the counter.

And then time stopped. Alec frowned, watching the man before him freeze up mid action. He raised a questioning eyebrow, waving a hand in front of his face. But there was no response.

“Alexander,” a familiar voice said.

Alec looked past the man and frowned. “Magnus?” he asked. He remembered his vision he had. And then he looked at Magnus closer and understood that the man in his vision was Magnus. But he didn’t understand.

What he did understand was that he was sobering up quite quickly. He shuffled away from the man and turned to Magnus. “What are- are you doing here?” he asked.

“You seemed to be in trouble,” Magnus explained, looking at Alec. His eyes seemed so bright, so much more Alec the Shadowhunter eyes, not Alec the mundane eyes. As if he had remembered, if briefly.

“Why isn’t he moving?” Alec asked, pointing to his classmate.

Magnus shrugged. “Nothing for you to worry about,” he said. “Let me take you home,” he said, holding out his hand.

Alec stared at the hand. He then saw the ring and his eyes glistened. He took Magnus’s hand and inspected the ring, then brought his hand up and looked at his own. “Why are these similar?”

Magnus swallowed. He wasn’t sure if he should tell Alec. He was afraid that if he told Alec, and Alec started remembering, that he may be taken away from him. Alec had been clear in that letter. The Angels may make it worse than it already was. And yet Alec seemed to remember something. Besides, Alec may not even believe him.

“Let me take you back to my loft,” he suggested. “I can tell you there.”

Alec frowned, looking up at Magnus. “I- I don’t trust you,” he said. And it was a lie. Because he did trust Magnus. He trusted him more than anyone else he knew outside. He felt safe whenever Magnus was around, even if he didn’t know Magnus.

Magnus dropped his hand. “Then let me take you to your home,” he said. “But let’s not stay here.”

He had seen Alec kissing his fellow classmate, a girl. It had taken him by surprise. It had hurt him, even. Though he couldn’t blame Alec. It wasn’t Alec’s fault. And yet, seeing his husband kiss another girl felt so entirely wrong. And now too, looking at the mundane that he had become, it hurt. Magnus wanted to turn back time and change faith. But he couldn’t.

Alec could see the hurt in Magnus’s eyes. He remembered the vision, kissing Lisa. He looked at the still frozen male next to him. He didn’t understand any of it, and he was feeling quite faint. He turned back to Magnus. “You know me,” he said. “You know who I am. You know everything about me, don’t you?” he asked.

And then he felt a sharp pain in his chest. He gasped, hand grabbing his shirt as he sunk to his knees. He took a sharp breath and shut his eyes, trying to breathe through it. He didn’t understand why he was suddenly feeling such a sharp pain. He could hear faint cursing above him, Magnus muttering something. He tried to focus on his breathing. Alec breathed in deeply, and out deeply, forcing himself to stay calm and breathe slowly. The pain was slowly ebbing away a bit, and he was thankful for that.

A hand on his shoulder had him look up. Magnus looked way too worried. He waved the hand away and forced himself to get up. “I’m fine,” he muttered.

Magnus shook his head. Even as a mundane, Alec was too stubborn for his own good. He hated it. Seeing Alec suffering like that, just now that he perhaps was remembering. Magnus knew that sharing any information could make the pain come back, could make it worse. And yet he really wanted to. Because he wanted his husband back. Needed his husband back. But he couldn’t risk it, it seemed.

Alec needed rest, that was for certain though. So he snapped his fingers and caught Alec’s limp body as he passed out. He sighed, picking him up bridal style. “Oh Alec, if only you knew,” he said, feeling incredibly upset.

He portalled them out of there, back to his, their loft. Because this was still Alec’s home, even if he didn’t know it. Magnus looked at the unconscious mundane in his arms and felt himself tear up. He quickly tucked Alec into bed, removing his shoes, socks and jeans. Then he left him to sleep it off. 

Perhaps, in the morning, Alec would wake up remembering. Roam the loft and know that he was back home. Or perhaps whatever flash of memory he had seen was gone and he would be terrified to be here. Magnus didn’t know. Didn’t care at the moment either. He knew he had broken Clave rules. But he also knew that he wouldn’t be punished for it. Alec had been in danger, and there was simply no way that Magnus would have let Alec get hurt like that.

He shoved open the balcony door and stepped outside. It was an unusually clear night at the moment. The stars were out, twinkling in the pitch black sky. He placed his hands on the balcony and closed his eyes. Perhaps he had made a mistake. A mistake he couldn’t fix now. Alec was here in his loft and Magnus wasn’t going to bring him back home.

He opened his eyes and fixed himself a drink. He took a sip and walked back inside, closing the door. He sat down in a lounge chair and crossed his legs as he took another sip. Alec was finally here, back at the loft. Yet he wasn’t sure at what cost. Perhaps this was only going to hurt Alec. But it felt like a small victory.

His phone buzzed then. He groaned and pulled it out of his pocket. Izzy was calling him. He let it go, deciding not to answer the call. He wasn’t exactly in the mood to deal with her, or any of them, at the moment. He knew he had left the dinner quite impromptu. And he hoped they would understand when he told them why. He was sure they would. But he couldn’t tell them at the moment. This needed to be a secret, even if he wished he could tell them that Alec was remembering. Or at least, that he had remembered something. It was a tiny victory, for now. And Magnus knew that he had to take small victories in a world of big losses.

His phone rang again. It was Izzy for the second time. He sighed and swiped to answer the call, putting the phone to his ear. “Yes, Isabelle?”

“Magnus? Where are you?” Izzy asked, sounding worried. “You weren’t at the loft a few minutes ago. And I wonder where you went. Are you okay? Do you need help?”

“I’m fine,” Magnus said. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m back at the loft. I just needed some fresh air.”

“Good,” Izzy said, and the door to the loft opened. She hung up the call and looked at Magnus. “Magnus, I know this is hard. It’s hard for all of us,” she said. She glanced towards his bedroom and her eyes widened.

Magnus wanted to stop her before she went into the bedroom but it was already too late. He anxiously followed after her.

“Magnus!” She said, but softly. She looked at her brother in Magnus’s bed. He seemed quite peaceful. He looked the same, mostly. He was a little thinner. And he had no runes covering his body. It seemed quite foreign. This was actually the first time she could look at him, after a year.

“What is he doing here?” she asked, turning to the warlock.

Magnus sighed and pulled her out of the room, shutting the door quietly. “He’s remembering,” he explained. “I could see it in his eyes. He remembered something about his past, about us.”

Izzy covered her mouth, feeling tears threaten to spill. It couldn’t be. Alec had warned them that he wouldn’t remember. And that if they tried to change that, it may go awry. She looked at Magnus. “Are you… Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “He saw my ring, then looked at his ring. He may remember, Isabelle. Isn’t that worth fighting for?” he asked. He wasn’t sure why he was asking. Validation maybe? Did he need that? Magnus was one of the oldest warlocks around. He was incredibly powerful. So why was he looking for permission from Isabelle?

Izzy looked down and thought about that. It was worth fighting for. After all, she really wanted her brother back. But she was afraid of losing him as well. What if Alec remembered and the Angels punished him even worse? She didn’t even want to think about that. And yet, she had to. Because she had to protect both her brother and Magnus.

“Magnus, what if the Angels punish him?” she said, looking back up at him. “What if he’s…” She swallowed. What if he was killed? For remembering? It seemed like something the Angels might do in their anger. She had already lost her brother once. She wasn’t really certain if she wanted to risk this. Even if he would remember. She couldn’t lose him again, permanently.

“But what if they don’t?” Magnus suggested. It was vain thinking, probably. But still. “What if he remembers again? What if he can become a Shadowhunter again? I know you want him back just as much as I do.”

He sighed and looked away. “I’m afraid of losing him too. But perhaps the Angels don’t even care? Maybe they’ve moved on. It’s been a year and…” He swallowed and closed his eyes, refusing to let his tears slide down his face. “I need him, Isabelle. I need him. I can’t live without him.”

“I know,” Izzy said, and gently laid her hand on his arm. “I know.” She gave him a small smile. “I just… I wish this had never happened.”

“Me too,” Magnus whispered. He sighed. “But we can get him back.”

“Okay,” Izzy said, nodding. “But you’ve got to keep this secret,” she said. “If mom finds out, Jace… they won’t be happy.”

Magnus agreed to that. He knew they would forbid him from trying to have Alec remember. But he was so close now, he couldn’t let him go. He had to try. He had to get Alec back.

“Okay,” Izzy said. “Just, be careful, okay? And keep me updated.” She looked towards the closed door behind which Alec laid. She smiled slightly. Perhaps she was getting her big brother back. She wouldn’t mind. She had been missing Alec quite a lot. Especially the past few days, as she had realised it had been a year without him. And she knew everyone was missing him. So perhaps, taking this chance was good for them. If he remembered they would get him back. And they needed him back.

“Of course,” Magnus said. He gently wrapped her into a hug and held her. He could feel how relieved she was, and also worried. He shared her worries but he wouldn’t give up. Living without Alec the past year had been nothing but a hell. So now, getting him back, was his sole mission. And he was going to succeed. He had to. For himself, for the Lightwoods, for Alec.

He let her go and watched her leave. He walked to the bedroom and quietly opened the door. He saw that Alec was still asleep and he was glad about that. Alec would have a hangover for sure the next morning. But nothing that couldn’t be remedied. He just hoped that Alec wouldn’t freak out when he woke up.

Magnus left the door open and once more took a seat in the chair he had been sitting in. He fixed himself another drink as he thought about this. He knew that he may risk Alec’s life. May risk losing him forever. But with great risks came great rewards. And perhaps he wasn’t going to lose Alec. Perhaps Alec was going to remember, become himself again. That was the goal anyway.

He sighed and finished his drink. He felt quite exhausted from today. He put the glass down and closed his eyes. By the time he would wake up tomorrow, either he was going to find Alec gone, find him remembering, or perhaps even find him dead. He didn’t want to think about that last option though. Since that would be truly upsetting.

Magnus wasn’t exactly sure what he’d do if Alec had died. He knew he himself was immortal. And he remembered the fight he had had with Alec once about that. Because Alec was mortal and he would die at some point. But just not this soon. And perhaps even then they could figure out a way to keep Alec alive. Because Magnus wasn’t sure if he could move on if Alec passed away. The Shadowhunter was the first person he felt he could spent eternity with, and even that would be too short.

Slowly, he started to drift off to sleep, dreams taking him away from his conscious state.


	5. Chapter 5

As consciousness slowly started gaining on him, Alec became aware of a severe pounding in his head. It felt as if someone was hitting his skull with a hammer from the inside out. It hurt, made him want to crawl back into the peaceful darkness that he had experienced earlier, where nothing hurt. But even as he willed himself to fall back asleep, his body wouldn’t let him. No, he was doomed to suffer the never-ending pounding pain instead. Life was cruel that way, he supposed. Life had always been cruel.

He shifted, hands gripping the sheets, which made him frown. These were different. They felt different, more soft, smooth. The fabric felt expensive, something that he didn’t have. Which confused him. That meant he wasn’t home. And if he wasn’t home, he wondered where he might be.

And then memories from last night came flooding back. Getting drunk off his ass, kissing Lisa, the vision, being dragged into a bathroom and then Magnus coming to his rescue. He wondered how Magnus even knew where he had been. Perhaps the man had been stalking him. 

Suddenly he felt for his ring and found it still there. He sighed in relief. He also remembered that Magnus had had the same ring. And he remembered the vision, them exchanging rings while the world around them burned down. Memories? Could it be? Was he starting to remember who he had been before he found himself wandering the streets?

Alec tried to crack open an eye. Golden light flooded the room, which had him closing his eye again. Light apparently made the pounding worse. He didn’t want it to get worse.

The smell of fresh coffee entered his nose and his stomach growled loudly. Alec groaned, slowly opening his eyes again and letting them get adjusted to the light. He turned his head to take in the room. It felt familiar. It felt like home. He felt like he belonged here, that this was his. And yet, it felt unfamiliar and distant. He frowned, slowly forcing his body up into a seated position.

He really didn’t know what to think or do. He was hungry and thirsty. He forced his legs out of bed and got up, stumbling a little before he regained his balance. He was definitely never drinking again. 

Instinctively Alec moved to the bathroom, where he splashed some cold water into his face before looking into the mirror. He knew he had been losing weight. His cheekbones were a little sharper than usual. His collar bone stuck out a little more. He sighed, turning away from the mirror and looking down at himself. He was wearing his tshirt still and his boxers. But the rest was gone. He wandered back into the bedroom and saw it neatly folded and stacked on a chair.

He briefly considered pulling it on, then didn’t feel like it and left the bedroom. He followed the smell to the kitchen while his eyes carefully scanned his surroundings. He was definitely familiar with this place. He knew he had dreamed about it. Then his eyes fell on Magnus. The man’s hair was sticking to his head and he was wearing a long red robe.

Alec cleared his throat to let his presence be known.

Magnus turned around and came face to face with Alec. So at least he was still alive. That was good. His eyes seemed brighter, even more so than yesterday. Perhaps he was remembering more.

“Good morning,” Magnus said with a smile. “How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts,” Alec admitted.

Magnus immediately stepped closer and brought a hand to Alec’s temple. His fingers sparked blue.

Alec closed his eyes and felt the pounding fade away. He sighed in relief, glad to be rid of that. And yet he wondered how that was even possible. He opened his eyes in time to see the blue sparks fade away again.

“Is that a magician’s trick?” he asked.

Magnus chuckled and shook his head. “No,” he said, before taking a step back. “Would you like some coffee?”

“Yes, please.” Alec ducked his head, his cheeks tinted pink a little. He gratefully took the cup that Magnus poured him and immediately took a sip, letting the caffeine clear his mind a little. He wandered out of the kitchen and passed by a painting that had a photograph in the corner.

He stopped and turned to it, taking the photograph from the painting and looking at it. It was him and Magnus. They were laughing and making funny faces. He turned to Magnus and showed the photograph. “When was this?”

“A while ago,” Magnus answered. “We had taken up a photobooth.”

Alec looked down at the photo. “Who am I?” he asked.

Magnus sighed. “I’m not sure if I can tell you, Alexander.” That sentence hurt to say, but it was the truth. If he revealed Alec’s past perhaps Alec would get hurt again, or die. But the fact that he was still remembering, that he seemed okay, was encouraging to him.

Alec looked at Magnus and saw the conflict in his eyes. “We’re married,” he blurted out.

Magnus smiled then. “Yes,” he said. “We are.”

Alec looked down at the ring around his finger. “I…” He was so confused. How could he be married to someone and not know? How could he have had a life and not know about it? He didn’t understand.

“Let’s sit down,” Magnus said. “And I’ll tell you.”

Alec followed Magnus to the living room and sat down. He took another sip of his coffee and looked at Magnus.

“You’re a Shadowhunter,” Magnus explained.

“A what?” Alec frowned.

“A Shadowhunter.” Magnus leaned back and crossed one leg over the other. “They fight demons and protect the mundanes from the Downworld. You were born a Shadowhunter. And you’ve been one your entire life, until about a year ago.”

Alec’s hand instinctively reached to his neck. He looked at Magnus. “I’ve been drawing some symbols,” he said. “Symbols which have meaning to them. Which belong on my skin.”

Magnus nodded at that. “Runes,” he said. “They give Shadowhunters their powers.”

“Why don’t I remember?” Alec asked.

Magnus looked down. “A year ago, we got married. But before we got married, that day, you interrupted the Angels plans. And they decided to punish you for it.” He summoned the letter that Alec had written and handed it over to him.

Alec read over the letter and frowned. He remembered writing this. He remembered meeting Jocelyn. But it was distant, vague. He blinked. He wanted to say something, but found himself speechless. He didn’t know what to say or do. He was starting to remember bits and pieces now. But as he read the letter, saw that he had warned everyone of trying to have him remember, he became worried. What if the Angels punished him again?

But he felt a little more whole again. This was who he was, a Shadowhunter. The past year he had struggled to find himself, and now that he was starting to remember bits and pieces, he finally knew who he was again. And yet it didn’t feel entirely right. He felt significantly different.

And then a pain in his chest had him gasping, grasping his shirt as he doubled over. He had never experienced chest pains, but it seemed directly related to him remembering. And he knew that was not a good sign. 

The pain became increasingly worse. It had him sliding off the couch and onto the floor on his knees as he tried to breathe through it. But even breathing seemed impossible as the pain overwhelmed him. His vision started to dot black around the edges and he could feel darkness slowly creeping up on him. Alec didn’t understand why this was happening, why faith was so cruel so him.

Magnus was panicking. He moved his hands over Alec’s body, trying to take away the pain, heal him from it, but nothing worked. 

“Alexander, stay with me,” Magnus said as he conjured up a portal. He sent a quick fire message to Catarina, telling her to be ready for him. With a snap of his fingers he was properly dressed and Alec was wearing sweats. He picked up Alec and carried him through the portal.

Alec was wheezing in the mean time, trying to hold on. But everything was becoming dark and difficult and all he wanted to do was give in. He wanted to let the darkness take control over him so the pain would go away. He couldn’t hold on.

Catarina came rushing towards them with a stretcher and another nurse. They quickly put Alec onto the stretcher.

“Where are you feeling pain?” Catarina asked.

Alec shook his head, eyes fluttering shut.

“Damnit,” Catarina cursed under her breath as they rushed him inside. She sent him off with the nurse, telling the nurse to go ahead and check him out before she turned to Magnus.

“What have you done?” she asked.

Magnus shrugged. “He’s remembering,” he said.

“Oh Magnus…” She looked at her friend in sympathy. She knew how hard it had been for him to lose Alec, but they had been warned not to try anything. And now Alec was paying the price.

“You know you can’t do that,” she said.

Magnus turned his back on her and remained quiet. He crossed his arms over his chest, not interested in this conversation. All he wanted was for Alec to be okay.

“Fine,” Catarina said. “I’m going to try and fix him. Stay. Here.” She turned and left, leaving Magnus on his own.

The warlock said, sitting down in one of the chairs. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the cold wall. Everyone had warned him for this. And yet here he was, just feverishly hoping that Alec was going to make it through.

And if he made it through, that he still remembered. He cursed the Angels in his head. This was unfair. Alec should have never been punished, not like this. Magnus could feel the tears rolling down his face and yet he didn’t care, for once. He might have killed his husband.

The wait was exhausting. He paced a lot, which got quite a few worried glances from staff and guests. He ignored it though. He didn’t care about them. All he cared about was Alec.

Catarina came to him after several hours. Magnus was slumped in a chair, eyes closed. She cleared her throat.

Magnus looked up at Catarina. “How is he?” he asked softly.

“Stable,” Catarina responded, sitting down next to him. “Not awake, but he is stable.”

Magnus nodded. He sighed, pulling a hand through his hair. “That’s good,” he said.

“Magnus,” Catarina said. “You need to let him go,” she said. “You’re endangering his life. And you can’t do that. We warned by him, and this should count as a final warning.”

Magnus looked down. “I can’t,” he said. “I can’t live without him.”

“I’m not saying to live entirely without him,” Catarina said, taking his hand. “But you can’t… You can’t have him remember. Because it’ll continue to hurt him. We stabilised him now, but we have no idea what might happen next.”

Magnus swallowed. He shook his head. “Catarina, I need him in my life as my husband. I can’t live without him, just watching him from a distance.”

Catarina sighed. “You have to,” she said. “You’ve lived through many losses and you knew you were going to lose Alec at some point.”

“But not this soon!” Magnus looked at Catarina. “I shouldn’t have lost him when I just got married to him.” He shook his head and stood up. “I don’t know what to do without him.”

Catarina took him into a separate room so he could calm down. She watched her friend, feeling bad for him. But she couldn’t let him risk Alec’s life. No matter how difficult it may be.

“Magnus,” she said. “You need to go get his stuff. Because if he wakes up and doesn’t remember what happened, he’s going to freak out if you’re there or if his stuff is still at your place.”

Magnus looked at Catarina and nodded. He left through a portal. And a few minutes later, he returned through a portal with Alec’s stuff. He handed them to Catarina and left.

He walked through the city, glamoured so no one would see him. He didn’t feel like dealing with mundanes at the moment. He just wandered around aimlessly. Eventually he even shut off his phone, tired of being called so often. He didn’t want to deal with anyone. He was tired and he felt alone. Just so alone.

Magnus couldn’t really comprehend his life without Alec. He might as well just not live then. Another option was removing his memories of course. Or locking them away. But he wasn’t sure about that. He’d lived a year without Alec, surely he could move on. But it felt like such an impossible task. Something he couldn’t do.

Eventually, Magnus found himself in Central Park, on a bench, just staring ahead of him. He remembered meeting Alec for the first time. He hadn’t been a fan of Shadowhunters back then, but that quickly changed as he got to know Alec and his friends. Now, he couldn’t imagine his life without any of them really. But Alec was special to him. After all, he had never been married before. Alec had been so many of his firsts that he hadn’t expected initially. 

He sniffled as he wiped the tears away. But they just kept coming. He couldn’t stop them. Perhaps he just simply wasn’t meant to be happy. After all, he had always lost those he cared about most. He wondered why he even got attached to people anymore. He just shouldn’t. He couldn’t keep losing them.

He wondered what Alec was doing at the moment. Was he still asleep? Or awake? Had he gone back home? Did he still remember?

He shook his head. He really needed to stop it if he was going to let Alec go. He closed his eyes and rested his head on his hands. He felt a presence sit down next to him but he kept himself quiet, didn’t look. Didn’t really care.

“Magnus.”

Magnus groaned and looked up at Catarina. He raised an eyebrow at her. “Shouldn’t you be watching Alec?”

“He went home,” Catarina said, leaning back. 

“Did he remember what had happened?”

Catarina shook her head. “All he remembered was drinking a lot at the party he was at last night. And then Lisa, I think, called him, and he left.”

He truly hated the name Lisa. He remembered watching Alec kiss her. He had felt jealous, had wanted to storm in and shake Alec to make him remember. But he hadn’t. Magnus sighed and looked up at the sky. The clouds were grey, they looked as if it may rain soon.

“Go home,” Catarina said. “Get some rest. Get some food.”

“Nah,” Magnus said. “Don’t feel like it.”

“Magnus, I don’t have the time to babysit you.” Catarina looked at her friend. “No one has.”

“I never said I needed a babysitter,” Magnus said with a shrug.

“Well obviously you do, considering how childish you’ve been acting.”

“Childish?” Magnus laughed, getting up. “Childish, huh. Because wanting my husband back is so childish indeed. Childish.” He shook his head, looking at Catarina. “How would you feel if you’ve finally found your soulmate, only to lose him? And know that there is nothing that you can do? All you can do is watch him live on his life, that’s not even really his life. Would you be able to do that?”

Catarina stood up and grabbed his hand. “No, I probably couldn’t. But you have to, and you know that.” She sighed and looked at Magnus, shaking her head sadly. “You don’t deserve this, Magnus. But we’ve never gotten what we deserved. We’ve always lost everything that we had. And we’ll continue to do so as long as we live. We’re immortal.”

Magnus took a step away from her. “Then erase my memories,” he said. “At least that will make it easier.”

“No.” Catarina didn’t really know what to do. She felt really bad for her friend, and there was nothing she could do to lighten the pain. “Go home, get some rest.”

Magnus clenched his fists. “Just leave me alone,” he said. 

“Do I need to call the Praetor Lupus?” Catarina threatened. “Or Izzy? Jace? Maryse? Because they’ll keep you in check, even if it means keeping you at their place.”

“You wouldn’t,” Magnus said, looking at her in disbelief. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would,” Catarina said. “In order to save Alec, in order to save you.”

“I don’t need saving,” Magnus argued.

“You,” Catarina sighed. “You need to be watched.”

Magnus shook his head. He didn’t need to be watched, didn’t want to be watched and taken care of. He could take care of himself. Even if no one believed him. But he just needed some time. And most of all, he needed Alec back. And he would.

“Just leave me alone,” Magnus said, moving away from her. “I need to be alone. I need some time to myself.”

“Okay,” Catarina said. “Just be careful. Call me if you need me.” 

Magnus walked away from her, strolling through Central Park on his own. He watched the mundanes go about themselves. Watched the couples be cuddly and kissing each other. It made him want to throw up. He decided then that he quite disliked seeing couples. Why would they get love and he didn’t?

There must be a way to bring Alec back. Magnus was certain of it. They had tried so much already, except one thing. They hadn’t summoned an Angel yet. And that might work. But Magnus knew that summoning Angels was difficult and dangerous. Angels didn’t care if they killed you or not. But Magnus would rather die trying to get Alec back, then do nothing and watch Alec live his life as a mundane.

So summoning an Angel it was. He headed back to the loft to make preparations for the spell. And he would tell no one. Because if he did, they would only try to stop him. But he was determined and he wouldn’t let anyone get in his way this time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad this fic is finally getting some attention. Since I wasn't getting comments, I was scared that perhaps no one really liked it. So please! If you read this, let me know what you think!
> 
> I considered waiting a few days with this chapter, but oh well. My posting schedule is really irregular anyway so here it goes, another chapter aye. Leave a comment!

Waking up in the hospital without having any recollection of how he got there was new. Something Alec hadn’t yet experienced before. Something he didn’t plan on experiencing again. All he knew was that he had been quite drunk, that he had kissed Lisa, and that something had disturbed him before he had tried to flee the party. Why? He couldn’t remember. It felt important but he couldn’t remember. And so, this added to the ever increasingly frustrating part of his life. He quite hated his life, if he was honest to himself. Life sucked.

The nurse had told him that someone had found him and brought him here. He supposed he was quite grateful for that. He didn’t quite fancy the thought of waking up in an alley instead, left to his own devices. God knows who would have found him then. And in the state that he was in, well, he wouldn’t really have been able to defend himself. New York City was full of criminals. Criminals he’d rather not meet. 

He’d gotten dressed and while he had gotten dressed, Lisa had called him. He’d left after that. He hadn’t even waited for the discharge papers. He’d just left after Catarina had gone to get them. He needed to get out of there, get some fresh air. 

Now he was walking towards their meeting point. He looked around the city, passing by people in silence. He felt like something was missing from the scene, as if he was supposed to see other people as well. People that normal people couldn’t see.

He shook his head. That didn’t exactly make sense now did it? 

Alec sighed, clearing his head. He spotted Lisa in the distance and sped up his pace.

“Alec!” Lisa spotted him from the corner of her eyes and she turned around. She examined him quickly. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“I’m fine,” Alec said with a shrug.

“You left so suddenly last night,” Lisa said. “I was really worried, you know that? And then you didn’t answer my calls.”

“I’m sorry,” Alec apologised. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Lisa nodded. “Okay,” she said. “I’m glad you’re okay though,” she said. 

Alec gave her a small smile. “Me too,” he said. He looked around, feeling as if something was missing. As if something happened yesterday that was monumental. He felt different. But he couldn’t place the feeling. Something was wrong with him, he was certain about that though.

Suddenly, Alec spotted a glimmer. He frowned, saw a person watching him. He seemed familiar. He had blonde hair. Alec felt as if he knew that person, but then he disappeared.

“Alec?” Lisa waved her hand in front of his face. “Did you hear anything of what I said?”

Alec blinked and looked at her. “I’m sorry,” he said. He looked towards the spot where he had seen the glimmer, the person. Lisa looked too, but she couldn’t see anything. He sighed, hand instinctively going to his side, as if something was supposed to be there. Something that connected him to the person he had just seen. 

“Hello?” Lisa shook him gently. “Alec?”

He blinked again and took a step away from her. “I’m sorry,” he apologised. “I need to go home,” he explained.

“But… We have homework due tomorrow,” Lisa said, concerned. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” Alec said, turning away from her. He put haste in his strides as he made distance between the two of them. He wasn’t sure why he felt like he needed to get away from her, but he had to. He couldn’t be here.

He wasn’t even sure where he was going. He wasn’t going home, that was for sure. It wasn’t even really his home. It didn’t feel like his home. He knew he belonged somewhere else, he just had to figure out where. But that seemed like an impossible task.

Alec stopped in his tracks as he came face to face with a massive church. It was abandoned, cracked, full of cobwebs. He looked up at it, hand going to his neck. He felt so drawn to it. He had been here before, right after he’d woken up wandering the streets. This building had a pull on him, but he didn’t know why. He’d googled the church, asked the people that he knew about it. But everyone had always told him to stay away. That alcoholics and drug addicts resided there and that Alec didn’t want to be involved with that. But he knew that wasn’t true. He had never seen anyone around here.

A glimmer. Alec focused, looking at it. And for a moment, the cracked building became beautiful again. The windows restored. It was beautiful, it felt like he knew this place. He reached out to the glimmer, but it shattered and the building became its old self again. Cracked and old and falling apart. He blinked.

He tried to focus on it again, tried to see past the glimmer, but it wouldn’t allow him. He shook his head and took a few steps back. He didn’t understand what was happening to him.

“Damnit,” he mumbled to himself, turning around and walking away from it. He found a bench and sat down on it, burying his face in his hands. Why couldn’t he just remember who the fuck he was? It was becoming increasingly more frustrating to him. He just wanted to know who he was, what his life was like before he lost his memories. But it seemed that everything kept him away from remembering. As if he was cursed.

Perhaps he was cursed. He wasn’t sure if that was possible. Everyone would tell him that it wasn’t, and yet he felt like it. As if a higher power was at play here that kept him from remembering. He just wanted to know who he was. And he didn’t know why that was seemingly too much to ask.

It started raining. Alec stayed where he was, letting the rain drench him to his bones. He really didn’t care at the moment. For now it calmed him down, grounded him. And he really needed that. He felt like he might be going insane.

He considered contacting his therapist again. She had always offered to help him whenever he needed it. Perhaps it was time to ask for help again. He didn’t actually want to go insane. Or perhaps, if he did, he could finally remember who he really was. Though it seemed unlikely, since something was keeping him from it.

He knew he had memories of his past. But there was a barrier in his mind that he couldn’t breach. Or he didn’t know how breach it. But he had tried therapies before. Nothing had helped him remember. And yet the barrier felt weaker at the moment. Felt like it could break if he continued searching for his memories. But it also felt dangerous. As if something might happen to him if he broke through the wall. Was it worth the risk? He didn’t know.

Alec sighed. He was starting to get really drenched now. Opening his eyes and lifting his face from his hands, he looked around. Life seemed so unimportant. He was meant for more, not this boring life.

But it was all he had at the moment. And he would have to deal with that. He got up and started walking back home. He was dragging his feet as he walked home, not really feeling like going home at all. Because it wasn’t his home, not too him. He hated being there. He hated being here, in this… mundane place. 

Alec checked his mailbox the moment he arrived home. He took out a long box and took it inside, closing the door behind him. He toed off his shoes and jacket before heading upstairs. He changed into something more comfortable, dry clothes. Then he sat down onto his bed and took the box. It felt heavy.

He opened it and looked into it. There was a… He frowned, he didn’t know what it was. It almost reminded him of a wand of some sort. It had a crystal on one hand. He wondered where it came from, who sent him this. He picked it up and stood up. It felt so natural in his hands, like it belonged there. It even made him smile a little. It felt like his. This was a piece of his past. He silently thanked whoever sent it to him as he held on to it.

And then he saw another glimmer. A glimmer that turned into a person with blonde hair, sharp cheekbones, black leather jacket and black jeans. He had marks along his neck.

“Who are you?” Alec asked, suspicious.

“The name’s Jace,” the figure introduced himself.

Alec looked at him. He seemed smug, as if he didn’t care that he was in a stranger’s house. But he seemed familiar. The name seemed familiar. He knew that name. But he was afraid.

“How did you get in?”

Jace laughed. “Oh Alec,” he said through his laughter.

“And how do you know my name?”

Jace chuckled. “Because I know you,” he said and lifted his black tshirt.

Alec’s jaw dropped. The guy had the same mark as he did. Alec quickly lifted his shirt as well and looked down at his side. “You… You have the tattoo,” he said.

“It’s not a tattoo,” Jace said, crossing his arms over his chest. “And what you’re holding is a stele. Your stele, to be more precise.”

Alec looked at the thing, stele, in his other hand. He looked at Jace. “What are you?” he asked.

“I’m a shadowhunter, like you.” Jace let his shirt drop and took a step closer. “These marks, these runes, give us our powers. I can show you.” He took out his own stele from his weapons belt and moved it over a mark. It burned, the familiar sting he knew, and then showed it to Alec.

Alec took hold of Jace’s arm and looked at it. Yes, this too, was familiar to him. But it didn’t make sense. He shook his head and let go, taking a step back. “Get out,” he said through gritted teeth.

It hurt to say that. Like he shouldn’t. But this was a stranger. He didn’t know this weird person who was showing him things that were impossible. His bottom lip trembled and he shook. Tears threatened to form in his eyes, but he refused. He couldn’t cry, not in front of this stranger.

“Alec,” Jace said. “I can help yo-“

“Get out!” Alec yelled, pointing at the door. “Now! Or I call the police.”

Jace sighed and took out a note from the pocket of his leather jacket. “This is my number. Call me if you need anything.” He put the paper onto the nightstand and left.

Alec clenched his fists, body trembling. He lashed out, smashing his fist into the brick wall next to the window. He groaned, pulling his fist back and slowly wiggling his fingers. That hurt more than he had imagined it would. His knuckles were scraped up now as well and bleeding.

He sighed and went into the bathroom, putting his hand under the cold water. He hissed and closed his eyes, breathing through the pain. It subsided slowly. He shut off the water, dried off his hand and wrapped his hand gently. Then he walked back into the bedroom and picked up the stele he had dropped. He set it onto the nightstand, on the paper Jace had left behind. He let himself fall onto his bed and buried his face into his pillow.

Why was life being so difficult to him? He didn’t understand it. But then, he likely never would. He closed his eyes and started sobbing into his pillow. Alec wasn’t a guy who cried easily. But he felt so incredibly frustrated and angry at not being able to remember. And then meeting people who knew so much more about him then he did.

A sharp pain in his chest had him rolling onto his side and curling up. He squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to breathe in deeply. Then the pain faded it away and suddenly he didn’t know why he was so frustrated, so angry. He looked towards the nightstand and saw the thing on it, on the paper. He ignored it, turning onto his other side and grabbing his phone from somewhere under him. He checked his notifications before locking it and putting it under his pillow.

Alec really needed to get a grip on himself. This wasn’t normal. Perhaps he really was going insane. That made him chuckle. So it took a year of this boring life for him to start going crazy. He wondered how anyone was supposed to live healthily in this fucked up society. He could feel the pressure that was put on him. Getting a good education, a good job. Living this life as he should.

He couldn’t. He didn’t want it. And yet he was forced to. He didn’t have a choice. This was the life that had been given to him and there was nothing he could change about it. No matter how badly he simply wanted to remember his past life. No matter how badly he wanted to return to it. There was no returning to it. And that hurt. But it was the truth and he had to face it.

Alec forced himself to sit up and sighed. He got out of bed and retrieved his laptop. He had homework to finish. Assignments to turn in. 

He got to work. It was dull, doing homework, making assignments. It was the thing he hated most about studying. The thing he wished he didn’t have to do. Perhaps he should just drop his study and work full time. And yet he knew that a lot of jobs, especially those that payed decently, required degrees of some kind. If he dropped out now, he could just as well curse his own future.

Hours passed by quietly as he finally finished the last assignment. He shut his laptop and put it aside, falling back onto the bed and staring up at the ceiling. How life became so boring, he didn’t know. He wondered if he would ever be able to escape it.

He needed to shower as well. He groaned, forced himself to sit back up again and walked to the bathroom. He closed the door and locked it, then turned the shower on. He turned it hot, feeling like he needed to relax a lot. He felt rather tense at the moment. And he had a headache.

Alec hated headaches. He had them regularly. Lisa had advised him to seek out a doctor. But he hated doctors really. He’d rather just sleep it off. 

He undressed and stepped under the warm water. He undid the bandage on his hand and hissed when the warm water hit the wounds on it. He looked down at it and wondered what had gotten him so angry that he had felt the need to punch the wall.

It must have been bad.

Alec closed his eyes and felt himself relax as the warm water ran over his body. Perhaps it really was time to shut off all emotions. To lock them away, just like his memories had been. He didn’t really need them, anyway. They just got in the way. He hated emotions anyway. He was never happy, and anything else that he felt was simply stupid. Like the anger that he felt regularly. 

Grabbing the soap, he squirted some into his hands and rubbed it through his hair and all over his body. Lisa had advised him to get laid. Like that would really help his troubles. Of course it wouldn’t. But it apparently wouldn’t make him such a ‘stuck-up bitch’, as she had said with a laugh. He rolled his eyes and washed off the soap. 

Once he was clean, he continued to stand under the shower. It made his headache feel less and that was welcome. But he knew he would have to get out eventually. He turned the water off and got out. He grabbed a towel and dried himself off. Then he got dressed again, unlocked the door and went back to his bedroom. He knew he needed to eat as well, but he didn’t really feel hungry at all.

At least, his body did, because his stomach growled loudly at the thought of food. He went downstairs and into the kitchen. He opened the fridge to find absolutely nothing of interest in it. He didn’t really keep food in his fridge or cabinets. He barely ate, so it was pretty much unnecessary. But perhaps he should. So that, at least, when he did feel hungry, he could cook himself something.

He headed back upstairs and grabbed his phone. He decided to order food instead. He checked how much money he still had in his wallet and then ordered the food. He waited, retrieved it once the doorbell rung, ate a few bites before putting the rest in the fridge. Sure, his body was hungry. He just didn’t really feel like eating. Hadn’t for over a year now.

He checked he time and frowned. It was past 3am. He needed to get up early, so he wasn’t going to get much sleep. He set his alarm and crawled under the covers. He closed his eyes and willed himself to fall asleep. But even that he wasn’t good at. Sleeping seemed like such an impossible feat. He’d been barely sleeping for two to three hours a night. He was constantly tired. He had dark circles under his eyes, which he regularly got comments on. The people around him knew he barely slept.

He slowly started to feel tired enough to actually sleep. He started to drift off, darkness taking him over. But not for long, because his alarm went off then, just as he started falling asleep.

The noise pounded through his head, making his headache worse. He sighed, shut off the alarm, buried his face into the pillow and closed his eyes. He fell asleep then, finally.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter aaye. I quite like this chapter, even if I say so myself. :)

Magnus was standing in a corner at the Starbucks that Alec was supposed to be working at. It was nearing 3pm, which was the time that Alec would get off this day. Yet Alec wasn’t there. Hadn’t been there for the past hour that Magnus had known about. He had glamoured himself so he could keep an eye on the joint, but it was quite clear that Alec wasn’t here.

That was rather worry-some.

Magnus had been busy gathering the ingredients for the spell to summon an angel. It wasn’t quite as easy as summoning a demon. Even summoning a greater demon was a little easier than summoning an angel. Which said a lot. It was also a lot more dangerous. It had occupied his mind the past day or so. But he always kept in mind Alec’s Starbucks planning and his school schedule. Just so he could check up on his husband.

Perhaps it was time to go. He turned and quietly left the Starbucks, slipping past two girls who entered the shop. He tucked his hands into his pockets and looked around. Perhaps he was still at home. Or perhaps something bad had happened.

He didn’t want to think about that.

Turning, he headed into Alec’s direction. Because of course Magnus knew where he had lived. He’d been keeping a very keen eye on the mundane. Had friends regularly follow him and catch up on him. Just to make sure that he was okay. Even as it seemed that Alec was perhaps spiralling.

Mundanes busied themselves with getting to places on time. Magnus avoided them all. Sometimes he would occasionally bump into one, just to make them jump.

The house where Alec lived was on a relatively quiet street of the city. Families mostly lived here. He had been appointed that house, a little bit thanks to Magnus. Without Alec realising it, Magnus had been taking care of him ever since he lost his memories. Just to make sure that nothing happened to him. Because he knew that there were downworlders after Alec. And so he still needed protection, even if others stayed away. He just had to make sure that Alec was okay. He would never forgive himself if something happened to Alec.

The house looked abandoned. Magnus observed for a few minutes. No lights were on, there was no movement. He frowned, concerned for his husband’s life. He walked up to the door and rang the bell, waiting. But after several long minutes no one came to answer the door, so he unlocked it and opened it with a bout of magic before he stepped inside. He closed the door behind him and looked around.

The kitchen and living room were empty. So he headed upstairs. He checked Alec’s bedroom, where he saw his husband asleep. He leaned against the doorway, looking at the sleeping beauty. But something was definitely off. He was covered in a light sheen of sweat.

Magnus moved in. He moved his hand over the man’s body. He was hot, perhaps a fever. He was really getting worried now.

“Hey,” the warlock said softly, shaking him. “Alexander, wake up.”

Alec stirred. He groaned, pushing at the hands that were shaking him. “Leave me alone,” he mumbled, curling up on the bed. He was shivering and yet he was feeling quite warm. Alec was rather certain that he was sick. Feverish. Nauseous. Headache. Perhaps he had the flu. He wasn’t even sure what day and time it was. But that didn’t matter. All he wanted to do was to sleep.

Magnus wanted to chuckle because it was a little adorable, the way Alec reacted. And yet it only made him worry more. He shook Alec again. “You’ve got to wake up. Have you eaten? Are you drinking enough?”

The voice that disturbed his sleep was familiar, but he couldn’t really place it. And then he wondered why there was someone in his house anyway. He opened his eyes and sat up in rapid succession, looking around until his eyes landed on Magnus.

“What the fuck?” he asked. “What are you doing in my house?”

His head was pounding and he felt like throwing up, but he refused. His vision was a little blurry and he could feel a drop of sweat slide down the side of his face. He groaned, putting his hand to his forehead and closing his eyes. It was worse than he had imagined.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, fussing over the man. “Come on, let’s get you downstairs so you can eat something.”

“Get out,” Alec said, opening his eyes and focusing on Magnus again. “Why are you even here?”

“I’m worried about you,” Magnus said, not able to hide the pain in his eyes. He knew Alec didn’t remember, yet it hurt that Alec was wanting him to go away. He simply couldn’t. He had to take care of him.

Magnus then saw the stele on Alec’s nightstand, beneath it a note with a phone number. He recognised that phone number. It was Jace’s.

“Has Jace been here?” Magnus asked, looking at Alec.

“Who?” Alec glared at Magnus, still not understanding why he was here at all. Magnus was a stranger to him. He didn’t care for him. But somehow, he felt comforted that Magnus was here, worrying about him. The name Jace was also familiar to him. He just couldn’t place it.

“Where did you get this?” Magnus asked, picking up the stele. It had been kept at the Institute, with strict orders to leave it there. So either something had changed or Jace had stolen it and dropped it off here.

Alec looked at the thing in Magnus’s hand. He snatched it from the warlock and looked at it. “I know this,” he mumbled. 

“You do?” Magnus felt a spark of hope.

“Yeah,” Alec said, looking at it. He frowned, it felt so familiar to him, looked so familiar to him. And yet he couldn’t exactly place it. He knew what it was called, but he couldn’t say it. He wasn’t sure why. It was frustrating.

Then his phone rung. He groaned and grabbed it from under his pillow, seeing it was Lisa. He answered the call.

“Hey Lisa,” he said with a sigh.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m sick.”

Magnus snatched the phone from Alec’s hands and hung up the call. He couldn’t really stand Lisa, didn’t want her near his husband. It was wrong of him, he knew that. but ever since he’d seen them kiss, well, he would do everything to keep her away from his husband.

“Dude!” Alec said, grabbing his phone back. “Get out!”

“Alexander,” Magnus said. “You’re obviously not well. Let me take care of you.”

Alec shook his head. Then he heard his doorbell ring. He groaned, getting up. He steadied himself before he left the room. “Perhaps you’re just an imagination,” he mumbled to himself. “You’re always there when you shouldn’t be.” He thought about that. Yes, perhaps Magnus was simply a figure from his imagination. A way of coping perhaps.

He went down the stairs and then opened the door. Lisa was standing there. He let her in before he closed the door.

“Alec,” Magnus sighed. “Come on, I’m not your imagination.” He looked at Lisa, but she didn’t seem to see or hear him.

Alec turned to Lisa. “Do you see anyone else in the room?” he asked. He glared at Magnus.

“Well, no-“ Lisa immediately took her words back as someone appeared, literally appeared, in the room. He was tall, of Asian decent, with fancy hair, sheered short at the sides and grown longer on top. He wore a red waistcoat, dark blouse underneath. Many necklaces adorned his neck. He looked like someone from a hundred years ago or so.

“Who are you?” she asked.

Magnus chucked. “Magnus Bane,” he said. 

“Alec, do you know him?”

Alec shrugged, heading for the kitchen. He grabbed a glass from the cabinet above and filled it with water. He gulped it back quickly and leaned against the counter. His head was pounding, his stomach hurting. He felt rather dizzy and nauseous. He was shivering and yet he was feeling hot. It was a strange combination. He really hated being sick.

“Yeah, he knows me,” Magnus said, following after Alec. “In more intimate ways then he realises and can remember.”

“What the fuck?” Lisa raised an eyebrow, suspicious. She followed after this Magnus Bane guy. He had a lot of guts. “Alec, did you… Did you sleep with him?” she asked, softly.

Alec turned around and looked at Lisa, then at Magnus. He frowned, suddenly uncertain. He knew Magnus had been quite a big part of his life, of his former life. But he wasn’t sure how. Because he didn’t remember. He looked back to Lisa, seeing the hurt in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking down.

“Yeah,” Lisa said with a sigh. “Thanks anyway, for leading me on and all.” She turned around.

Alec caught her wrist, making her turn back around. “To be honest, I don’t know who he is. All I know is that he’s from my past. Every time I see him I…” He struggled to find the words, and saw Magnus look on hopefully. He hated that. There was no hope for him. “I feel more comfortable around him.”

Lisa looked at Alec, then at Magnus. “So, who are you then? If you’re from his past, you know what happened to him.”

Magnus paled. He swallowed, wondering what to say to that. “It’s complicated,” he said. “I can’t tell any of you what really happened, because it may hurt Alec. It has, already. And I can’t…” He shook his head, feeling the lump in his throat. He wanted to spill all of it, yet he couldn’t. Lisa was just a mundane. She needed to be protected from the downworld. And Alec needed to be protected from his own memories, no matter how much that hurt.

Lisa observed Magnus, trying to figure out if he was genuine or not. But it definitely seemed like it, which was confusing. She didn’t understand what was going on here.

“You’re my husband,” Alec said, looking up then. “He’s my husband, is what I know.”

Lisa gaped, looking from Alec to Magnus. “You’re… You’re married to this guy?” she asked, curious now. “How can that be?”

“It’s a long story,” was all Magnus said. He shrugged, but felt a little pride at the fact that Alec remembered he was his husband. It seemed like a good sign that he could remember that. But it confused him as to why Alec wanted Magnus gone. If Alec knew at least that much, then why didn’t he want Magnus to be here.

Alec laughed at that. “I bet it is,” he said.

“So you’re gay?” Lisa asked, directing the question at Alec.

Alec shrugged. “Suppose so.” 

“Then why did you kiss me?”

Alec should have seen that question coming of course. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn’t even sure why he had kissed her. He had been drunk out of his mind and he had been missing intimacy. Even if he didn’t like Lisa in such a way.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly.

“Really?” Lisa asked, frustrated.

“Do you want me to lie?” Alec asked, raising an eyebrow. “Because I won’t. I simply don’t know and I’m sorry. I wish I could give you better answers. The only one who can is Magnus, who refuses.”

Magnus ducked his head, not wanting to come between this conversation. He had wondered why Alec had kissed Lisa. To hear him admit that he didn’t know both confused him but also warmed his heart. Because now at least it was obvious that Alec didn’t care for Lisa in such a way. And that was a welcome relief.

Lisa was quiet then. She looked between the two. It was definitely obvious that there was something between them, something that the Magnus guy knew about, and that Alec didn’t. At least his story was now a little more believable. She actually believed him now if he said he had lost his memories. Because it seemed like that was true indeed. But she didn’t know why Magnus just didn’t tell Alec. There seemed to be something else at play, something both of them weren’t supposed to know about. Which made her rather curious.

“How old are you?” she asked, looking at Magnus.

Magnus chuckled. “A few hundred years old,” he answered, honestly. 

“There’s no way that’s true,” Lisa said, frowning. “No one becomes that old and looks as young as you do.”

Magnus laughed then, quite amused by the girl. And yet he knew he had to be careful. Exposing mundanes to the downworld was dangerous. Mundanes often didn’t survive once they got involved in downworlder business.

“It’s true,” Alec said, chugging back another glass of cold water. “He’s a…” He frowned, trying to think of the world. “A warlock, I believe. I am a shadowhunter. Or… Was a shadowhunter.” He shrugged.

“A what now?” Lisa shook her head. “You are both delusional,” she spoke. “Perhaps both of you need to be taken in by a mental institution.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Alec said, looking at Lisa. “I’m going insane anyway. Perhaps if I do, I’ll finally remember.”

Magnus frowned. “Alexander, I doubt that’s a good idea,” he interjected. His husband seemed quite desperate to remember. And although that was a good sign, it was worrying that Alec thought he was going insane, because that was not a good sign. Yet knowing that Alec remembered that Magnus was a warlock, and that Alec himself was a shadowhunter, was a good sign. But Magnus knew he needed to hurry, because he knew Alec’s memories were fleeting. He needed to summon an angel and get his husband back.

Alec groaned, grabbing his shirt towards his heart. “This is what happens every time I start to remember bits and pieces. My chest hurts and it vanishes.” He grimaced, gritting his teeth as the pain in his chest grew worse. He looked towards Magnus. “I don’t know what happened, but you need to fix it,” he said. “I can’t… I can’t keep on living like this.”

Magnus reached out and touched his cheek. Alec leaned in to it and closed his eyes. Magnus felt a painful tug at his heart because he knew things weren’t that simple. If only he could snap his fingers and help Alec remember. But he was really afraid of what that would mean to Alec. He didn’t want to lose his husband because the angels were dicks. But having Alec admit that he couldn’t live on like this made him hopeful and desperate to get his husband back as well. “I will,” he said.

“Get a room,” Lisa said with a roll of her eyes. “So, if you’re a few hundred years old and you’re a… shadowhunter, then what am I?”

“A simple mundane who can’t grasp that concept.” Alec knew those words were harsh, but he really didn’t care at the moment. He was sick and nauseous and he was remembering, which caused him pain. And Magnus’s touch just felt so good on his hot skin. The past few days had been quite a rollercoaster for him of remembering and then forgetting. It was becoming too frustrating for him. He just wanted to know who he was, what had happened in the past. And he felt like he knew, but he just didn’t remember.

Lisa stared at Alec in betrayal. “I should go,” she said, taking a step back. She looked at Magnus, who seemed too focused on Alec. “I don’t believe you. Neither of you.” She shook her head. It simply couldn’t be true, it was that easy. She turned and left, fleeing the premise.

Alec didn’t even care, instead he rotated towards Magnus and leaned into his chest. He breathed in the smell of sandalwood and sighed in relief. “I love you, Magnus,” he whispered.

Magnus swallowed. How he had missed those words coming from Alec. But he knew it would only be fleeting. “I know, Alexander. I love you too,” he said.

They stood like that for a while. Alec really seemed to be burning up, which was worrying. But he didn’t want to move away. For the first time in over a year they finally had a moment in which it seemed like everything was okay. Like everything was going to be okay. Magnus knew he needed to hold on to this because it wasn’t going to last long. And it would hurt once Alec had forgotten again. But for now it was fine. For now, all seemed a bit better.

“You ought to lay down,” Magnus said softly. “You’re burning up. You need soup in you.”

“Not just soup,” Alec mumbled, moving away from Magnus. He looked up at the man. “I’m not going to remember this.”

“I know,” Magnus said in a sad tone. “I’m going to fix that.”

Alec smiled then, genuine. “I know you are,” he said. “I just wished I could remember it all now.”

Magnus sighed. “You’re not alone in that,” he said. He pulled his husband into a tight hug. “But you will soon, I promise. And then we can go back to what we had.”

Alec smiled. “That sounds nice,” he said, resting his head on Magnus’s chest. Then the pain in his chest increased and he pulled back, gasping and bending over the counter. “You… need to go,” he groaned, as the pain intensified.

Magus clenched his fists and picked up his husband, carrying him upstairs. He laid him down on the bed and pulled the covers over him. Alec seemed to be already asleep. He was still breathing, his heart beating. But he knew that once Alec woke up that he wasn’t going to remember. Tears burned at the back of his throat but he refused to let them slip. He would keep to his promise and make sure that Alec would remember soon. Because Magnus was more than ready to get back to his old life. They still had their honeymoon to plan. So many things to do as husbands. And he was more than ready to get to it.

And it seemed that Alec was as well. It reassured him. Made him hopeful. He could still fix this. Even if it was going to take some time. And in the mean while he would continue to take care of Alec. Because he knew Alec needed it.

He was however worried about Lisa. He wondered what she was going to do with the information she’d gotten this afternoon. He would need to watch her as well, especially considering she was Alec’s classmate. He just hoped she wouldn’t stir up trouble.

But at least he had hope that Alec was going to be okay. That the two of them were going to be okay. Soon, he hoped. It brought a small smile to his face. He was determined now, even more than he had be, to get his husband back.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is right around the corner and so is the new year so I'm sorry if I don't upload another chapter and leave you guys hanging here. I will update the tags before the new chapter is uploaded so keep your eyes on those. I did tag the violence in the beginning and here it will begin. 
> 
> I wish anyone Happy Holidays if I don't upload another chapter as well as a Happy New Year in advance. Be safe, have fun if you can. And see you soon. <3

Alec groaned at the incessant ringing of his phone. He blindly grabbed for it, found it and cracked open an eye. He answered the call and put the device to his ear.

“What?” he mumbled.

“Alec,” Lisa said, sounding relieved. “Where are you? You’ve been gone for like a day or something.”

Alec frowned, forcing himself to sit up. He was pretty certain he’d seen her yesterday in the late afternoon, as well as someone else. Though he couldn’t remember it. Perhaps he had forgotten. She had forgotten then as well. That made him frown, uncertain. He didn’t trust his memories, as far as he had them. 

“I’m home,” he said, pulling the device away from his ear to check the time. It was 9am. Too early for his liking. All he wanted to do was go back to sleep. And sleep forever perhaps. Or sleep until he finally remembered his life before this one.

“I’m coming over,” Lisa said, sounding worried now.

Alec wished she didn’t worry. No one needed to worry about him. “Fine,” he grumbled, hanging up the call to avoid any further conversation. He moved his legs out of bed and looked around the room. He focused on a spot in the corner, seeing a quick glimmer. He shrugged, pulled a hand through his hair and headed into his bathroom.

He pulled himself in front of the mirror and groaned. He was a mess. He needed a shower probably. He splashed his face with cold water before pulling on some sweatpants and going downstairs. He didn’t even bother to wear a tshirt or anything.

Once in the kitchen he gulped back a glass of water and looked around again. It felt as if someone was there with him, but he didn’t see anyone. And he knew there was no one there, it was impossible. And yet he felt like he was being watched. He wasn’t alone. He face-palmed and sighed. He must really be going insane.

The doorbell rang and he walked to it. He opened the door and looked at Lisa, who gaped at him. He frowned, let her in and shut the door behind him.

“I didn’t know you had a tattoo,” Lisa commented.

Alec looked down at his side where a golden symbol was stuck to his skin. He knew logically wise that it wasn’t a tattoo. But he didn’t know what else it was. So he shrugged. “I suppose,” he said simply.

“Since when have you had it?” Lisa asked.

Alec rolled his eyes. “Since I woke up,” he explained. “It’s nothing special. It’s just there.”

“Like your wedding ring?” Lisa was suspicious. “I still don’t get how you can’t remember a thing about your past. But if you’re playing a game, acting, you’re rather good at it.”

“I’m telling you the truth,” Alec said, crossing his arms over his chest. He really didn’t remember, even if people thought he was lying. If only it were that simple, since he was quite desperate to remember his past. But it wasn’t to be. He had given up hope. He would just have to build up his life from here on out and hope that he wasn’t going to die of boredom.

“Okay,” Lisa said, putting her hands up in the air. “I’m sorry.”

Alec was indifferent. “Whatever.” His stomach growled so he headed back to the kitchen. He checked the fridge and the cabinets only to come to the conclusion that he had nothing edible at home. Sometimes he really just wanted to bash his head in.

“If you’re hungry, we can go out for breakfast. I know this lovely place.” Lisa watched him contemplate something. She really worried about him, since it seemed like he wasn’t really taking care of himself. She wondered what she would do if she was in his place, unable to remember her past. She wasn’t sure if she could be half as strong as he was in such a situation. 

Alec turned around and looked at her. “Stop worrying about me,” he said, finding it rather irritated. He didn’t really want to be worried about. He wasn’t worth the effort. Never had been. He headed upstairs where he grabbed a tshirt off of the floor and pulled it on. He really needed to wash his clothes and clean up his room, but he didn’t really feel like it. Didn’t feel like doing anything at all.

Lisa followed him upstairs. “But I am,” she said. “You’re obviously not taking care of yourself. That’s not good, Alec.”

Alec shrugged. “It’s not worth it,” he said, sitting down onto his bed. “Whatever life I’m living right now is not worth the effort. I’m not supposed to be here but I don’t know where else to go or what to do. Because my memories are gone and I am certain they’re not coming back. I hate it. I hate my life. I hate myself.” He flopped back onto the bed and closed his eyes. It wasn’t necessarily that he hated himself, just this empty version of who he was.

“Stop!” Lisa worried her bottom lip between her teeth. She wasn’t exactly sure what to say to that, or what to do. Alec was obviously troubled but she knew there wasn’t anything she could do for him. Or at least, that is what she thought.

“Just go away,” Alec mumbled. 

“No,” Lisa said. “You need someone to help you. So let me help you.”

“I’m not a child that needs baby sitting.” Alec opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling.

“Apparently you are.” Lisa looked at him. “I’m going to help you whether you like it or not.”

Alec groaned and forced himself to sit up. He looked at her with narrowed eyes, wondering why she would want to go through the effort. “Why?” he asked. “Why would you?”

“Because…” Lisa shut her mouth and thought about that question. She had to admit that she had feelings for him, especially after they’d kissed. It had surprised her. And when he’d hurriedly left, she’d wondered if she had done something wrong. It had gotten her to doubt herself.

“I like you,” she said, eventually. A light blush covered her cheeks. “More than a friend, kinda.”

Alec raised an eyebrow, looking at her. He remembered himself kissing her. Ah, that had been his mistake. He shook his head. Sure, she was attractive and kind and smart. But not his type. He was pretty certain he didn’t like girls at all. Though he kind of refused to call himself gay. Even if he knew, from the depth of his heart, that that was what he was. But he just didn’t want to admit it.

“Lisa,” he said softly, trying to find the words not to hurt her. “I… I don’t like girls, not in that way,” he said, looking down. He twisted the ring on his finger, wishing he could sink into the ground and disappear. No one needed him anyway, not that he knew of.

“O- oh,” Lisa stuttered, feeling embarrassed now. Although she’d had a feeling that he didn’t like girls, the fact that he had kissed her had given her hope, perhaps. But that hope had been falsely placed, she realised now. She sighed. “It’s okay,” she said. “It’s fine. I’m still going to help you, though.”

Alec groaned. “I don’t need help or want help,” he said, getting up. “We barely know each other.”

“That can change,” Lisa said.

“No,” Alec said, turning to her with a stern expression. “It can’t. Because I don’t know who I am. I don’t know my past.”

“You’re so overly dramatic sometimes,” Lisa said, rolling her eyes. “You’re just a stubborn child, Alec. I don’t care that you don’t know your past. We can get past that.”

“We can’t!” Alec clenched his fists, feeling rather frustrated now. “I don’t want to get to know you. And I don’t want you to get to know me, okay? I am who I am and I will figure that out on my own. Because you are not my friend, you’re not family. I have a family out there. Friends! A husband, probably, considering. But you don’t belong there.”

Lisa swallowed. She hadn’t expected that outburst and it hurt. She took a step back, feeling the tears burn in her eyes. “Fine,” she mumbled. She turned and headed down the stairs.

Alec followed her, now regretting his angry outburst. “Wait, Lis-“

“Shut up,” Lisa said as she threw open the door. “You obviously don’t care about me. That’s fine. Whatever.” She stepped outside and turned to him. “This is your life now, Alec. There is nothing that you can do to change that. But if you won’t accept it, then fine. Whatever.” She shut the door behind her and left.

Alec stood there, at the bottom of the stairs, staring at the door. He continued standing there for minutes, mind empty. Then he became angry, clenched his fists and turned around. He threw a punch to the wall, groaned when it hit his already sore fist, and sunk to his knees. He started sobbing, just desperately wishing that he could remember who he was. But even now, nothing came to him. No memory would help him. He was lost in this stupid life that he really hated and there was nothing that he could do to change it.

And still he felt like he was being watched. Like someone from his past was there, right in front of him, watching him, feeling just as helpless as he did. He looked up, looked around, but there was no one there. No one would come and comfort him. No one would come and help him. He was on his own. And there was nothing he could about it. 

His life was truly a mess.

He just didn’t understand why he couldn’t remember. It was so unfair to him. He didn’t understand what he had done to lose all his memories and become this empty shell of who he was. It must have been really bad to be punished like this.  
\-----   
Magnus watched his husband break down at the bottom of the stairs. He felt so helpless, so lost. At least he was glad that Alec actually didn’t like Lisa, but honestly that was the least of his worries. Alec looked lost and about ready to just give in and end it. And that is not what he wanted. He knew he really needed to hurry up with his spell, get to the Angels to see if they would have mercy, for once.

But he doubted it. He was actually thinking of not contacting the Angels. The lore he had read wasn’t exactly reassuring. It only made him doubt his decision to contact the Angels. It was likely to go wrong. They would likely kill him for summoning them. He was a Downworlder after all. And they were looked down upon by the Angels.

He didn’t know what else to do. Perhaps he could search for a powerful spell that could help Alec remember. But every time his husband had remembered he had also forgotten. And that was the biggest problem. Magnus needed to find a solution to that. To make sure that once Alec remembered, he wasn’t going to forget. But that was going to be difficult. He would need to break the Angels’ spell and he wasn’t sure if he could do that.

There was hope though. Alec wearing his wedding ring, Alec’s parabatai rune still being there, now golden to signify the broken bond, those were good signs. Even if perhaps those signs were driving his husband mad.

Magnus was on a time clock, he knew that much. Because his husband needed to remember before something bad happened. And he wasn’t down for that. He needed to find a solution to this problem, but he didn’t know what, or how. And he knew that asking other warlocks wasn’t going to help him. Because they would report back to the Clave, and the Clave would report back to Izzy and Jace. And they would stop him.

They were determined to keep him from remembering to protect him. But they didn’t see what Magnus saw. Didn’t see how much Alec was struggling. Didn’t know just how bad Alec was getting, that he wasn’t dealing with it well. Magnus was really worried that Alec was going to end up hurting himself if he continued to live like this. And he just couldn’t fathom that.

Especially now, he wanted to deglamour himself and comfort Alec. But Magnus was a stranger to his own husband at the moment and he was certain that wasn’t a good idea. They were both lost at the moment. Both wanting Alec to remember, both desperate. And both not knowing how to get him to remember.

If only there was a simple solution to the problem.

He was pulled from his thoughts when Alec got up. Alec wiped his tears and headed back upstairs. Magnus followed him, wondering what his husband was going to do. But all Alec did was get into bed and curl up.

Magnus sighed and decided to leave then, quietly going back down the stairs and leaving the house. He tucked his hands into his pockets and looked back to the house. The wards were still in tact. He turned around and left, walking away. It hurt to walk every. It hurt every time. But he knew he had to. He couldn’t keep hanging around, because that wasn’t going to help him.

He headed back to his loft, where he opened every spellbook he had and searched through them for a powerful enough spell to break the Angels hold on Alec.  
\-----   
Alec stayed curled up in his bed until nightfall. For once, he really didn’t care about his job, his school, anything. All he cared about was not feeling a thing, but that wasn’t working.

So he got out of bed, pulled on his shoes and a jacket, grabbed his keys and phone and left his house. He wasn’t sure where he was going or what he was going to do. He still needed to eat something even though he really didn’t feel like it. Instead, he wandered the city, feeling like he knew it from another perspective. Every time he wandered around he felt like he knew the places he passed. The old church that he often found himself drawn to. An abandoned looking restaurant named Taki’s. A fallen hotel DuMort. Quite a sinister name. A club named Pandemonium that shone a familiar symbol to him, a symbol that no one else seemed to see.

But no matter how drawn he felt to those places he tried to stay away. He didn’t know why. He felt like he might get hurt if he ever got too close. Especially whenever he stood in front of the church. Perhaps it was because of the things that he had been told. And yet none of those things had ever felt like it had been the truth. Just superstition. But something held him back from going there.

Things just weren’t really okay to him. Alec didn’t know how to deal with the anger and frustration he felt on a day to day basis. Didn’t know how to deal with any of it.

Suddenly there was someone in front of him. He looked around. This wasn’t a part of the city that he knew. He avoided this part because instincts told him to stay away. But here he was, and there was someone in front of him, eyeing him up.

“The famous Alec Lightwood,” the man said with a sharp grin. “What brings you to this part of town?”

“How do you know my name?” Alec asked, feeling nervous. He instinctively grabbed behind him, as if something should be there. A bow and quiver with arrows, a weapon at his belt. But there was nothing there and he didn’t know why he felt like there should be something there. 

“Oh, the entire Downworld knows your name,” the man said, taking a step closer. “Ah, but you don’t remember, do you? So they haven’t been able to make you remember yet.”

The man was threatening. Alec swallowed, taking a step back. “I’ll leave,” he said. He turned around, only to find the man there. He frowned, taking a step away from him. “I’m sorry for wandering around here.”

“Oh you’re not leaving,” the man laughed. “We don’t care about Clave rules and the Accords. Everyone who wanders into my territory is fair bait. And since you’re no longer a Shadowhunter, well, you’re gonna be easy.”

Alec shook his head. “Leave me alone,” he said, trying to push past. Suddenly, hands grabbed his wrists and forced them behind his back. They were secured quickly.

“Let me go!” Alec struggled against his restraints.

“Pathetic,” a woman’s voice said behind him. “And this used to be the Head of the Institute. Now he’s just a weak mundane.” She laughed. “How karma can get to them. Thank the Angels, for once.”

The man chuckled. “Let’s take him in. He’ll make a tasty snack for sure,” he said.

Alec didn’t know what they were talking about and he wasn’t keen on finding out. He kicked out, managed to run for a few minutes before he was tackled. He hit the ground hard, landing on his side. He cried out as he felt something crack, perhaps a rib. Pain shot through him as he was hoisted up quickly. Tears were streaming down his face as he tried to fight them. But the pain was holding him back.

“Get him inside!” the man called. “Restrain him in the basement. Let’s see what he can take.”

Alec was dragged into a dark alley, through a door and down a set of steps. His hands were untied before they were chained above his head. He was wheezing, the pain overwhelming. He was most certain that he had broken a rib or two. It wasn’t good.

Once he was restrained, he could see who had taken him captive. Three men and a woman. The woman seemed a little familiar though he couldn’t place her.

“Oh don’t worry,” the man who had appeared in front of him said. “If you behave well, we won’t hurt you… Too much.” 

The group of people laughed and Alec felt truly terrified. He hadn’t been this scared before in his life. Why had he gone out even? Why had he been this stupid? He shook his head.

“Please let me go,” he whispered. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise. Just please…”

More laughing. They were obviously amused at his pleading. 

“Nah,” the woman spoke up. “You’re ours now.”

A hit to his stomach had him wanting to double over. He gasped in pain, cursing himself quietly. Another hit to his head had him passing out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I managed another (shorter) chapter before Christmas.

Alec’s head was pounding when he woke up. His side hurt, his stomach was rather upset. He wasn’t sure if his stomach hurt because he hadn’t eaten or because of the circumstances he was in. But that didn’t really matter. He blinked open his eyes and immediately scrambled to get his feet under him. His shoulders and wrists were aching, so he must have been out for a while hanging weakly in the chains keeping him up.

Once he was standing, he looked around. So it hadn’t been a bad dream. He really was stuck here. At least he was alone for now. The room was grey and cold. Definitely a basement, he was certain of that. He couldn’t see any windows or doors. So perhaps one was behind him. The walls seemed to be metal, or at least of a strong metallic material. 

He wondered who those people were. The woman had seemed familiar to him, but he couldn’t place her. He was certain he hadn’t seen her before, or perhaps he had before he had lost his memories. He wasn’t sure. He wished he knew because at least then that could help him figure out why they knew him. Or why they even cared to kidnap him and hold him here for whatever purposes. Perhaps they’d just kill in and drop him off somewhere in the city.

He really shouldn’t have left his house.

But of course he had been stubborn. He had always been too stubborn for his own good and he was going to pay the price for it now. He was certain of that.

He glanced down at himself to find himself shirtless. They must have removed his jacket and shirt while he had been out. He could see a dark bruise on his right side where he suspected he had some broken ribs. It looked swollen too. He grimaced, that wasn’t pretty. It pulsed and hurt. He needed medical help, he was quite certain of that. But he also knew he wasn’t going to get that.

He would just have to hold on and hope someone was coming for him.

Though he doubted that. He’d pushed Lisa away, who was the only one who had really cared about him the last year. He groaned and looked up. Perhaps he could free his wrists and get out of here. He tested the chains, tried to slip his wrists free, but it was impossible. They were rather tight and the more he struggled the more the chains dug into his skin.

He gave up, not wanting to hurt his wrists even more than they already had been. If he ever got out alive he was never going to leave his house again.

A door opening alerted him. It came from behind him, he tried to turn but found himself unable to. This was frustrating. He just wanted to go home. But at least his suspicion was confirmed that there was a door behind him. At least that was good to know, for now. If he escaped, he at least knew which way to go.

“Ah, I see you’re awake,” the woman said as she came into his field of vision. The woman had long dark hair and dark eyes. She was gorgeous in her own right, with pale skin and full lips. Alec noted a small freckle beside her nose, barely standing out. Her hair was wavy. 

She observed him. “Interesting that your parabatai rune stayed, though it’s golden so the bond is broken. I wonder if your parabatai can sense you still.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Alec mumbled. He glanced down at the golden mark on his side. The word parabatai was familiar to him. It had meaning. But he just didn’t really know what it actually meant. She did, obviously. Which confused him because he didn’t and she probably didn’t care to elaborate.

“Oh I know,” she chuckled, stepping into his personal space and placing a hand on his cheek. Her hand was cold to the touch. “I know you don’t remember. But that’s okay. You don’t have to.” She grinned, hand moving down to the side of his neck.

Alec’s heart was beating rapidly because he was afraid. He wouldn’t be able to defend himself against them. He wanted her hand gone, wanting her to step away. He just wanted to be left alone.

“Are you afraid?” she asked.

Alec gulped but remained quiet. It was probably wise to not say anything. Besides, he had a feeling that she could sense, perhaps even smell, that he was afraid. A shiver ran down his spine and he looked away, not able to hold her piercing gaze. She was rather intimidating.

“Ah, you are.” The woman laughed, nail digging into the skin above the vein. “I bet you’re absolutely delicious. I wonder if you’ll still taste angelic like other Shadowhunters. Or perhaps you’ll taste like those boring mundanes.”

“Please,” Alec whispered, squeezing his eyes shut as the nail broke his skin. “You’re hurting me.”

“Pathetic.” The woman swiped a drop of blood from his neck and put her finger to her mouth, tasting the red liquid. She smiled. “Ah, still angelic. Now that is interesting.”

Alec threw a kick at her, managing to have her fall. He tugged on the chains, suddenly finding the will to fight.

The woman got up, wiped off her clothes and looked at him. “Fight it all you want,” she said with a smile. “You’re not going to get away. You’re ours now.”

Alec focused on her. “They will find me,” he said. 

“And who’s they, Alec? Your family? Your husband?” The woman laughed, grabbing his chin between her finger and thumb. “I highly doubt it. By the time they will find you, you’re going to be dead.”

Alec remained quiet, fixing her with a glare instead. She smiled at him and left again.

He sighed and closed his eyes. So he still had angelic blood. He could still be a Shadowhunter then. He could still go back to his old life. If only he could remember and not keep on forgetting. He could still go back to his husband and continue to live his life like he was supposed to.

Alec closed his eyes. He then remembered something. Standing on the aisle, wearing white. Lydia in front of him, the ceremony, Magnus bursting in. He could remember it so clearly now. Alec had gone for Magnus instead, with the most important Clave members in the room, angering his parents as he did. 

He smiled as he repeated the memory in his head over and over again. Kissing Magnus was the best thing he’d done then. It had been the start to something more, something special. He knew that no matter what happened to him, he would always find his way back to Magnus, no matter how long it took him.

He wondered where Magnus was now. Would the warlock know that something was up? He hoped so, because Magnus could track him, he was certain of that. The warlock would come for him, save him, together with Izzy, Jace, Clary. He wondered how they were doing at the moment. He hoped they were doing well.

But this brought a whole new level of emotions with it. Remembering all of them had his heart aching. Tears rolled down his face as another memory managed to free itself from the vault.

The world burning down around them. Magnus asking him to marry him. Exchanging their rings. Magnus going off to Edom. Alec not knowing if he was ever going to see Magnus again. He remembered how heartbroken he was, but also how determined he was to get him back. Even if others told him that Magnus couldn’t come back, Alec was determined. And in the end he’d finally gotten the warlock back, thanks to Clary. It had been a miracle and he had been more than grateful.

A sob managed to make its way past his lips as he remembered all of it. As his memories slowly came back to him. Even as he remembered now he feared of losing his memories again soon, as he always had. He didn’t even know why he was remembering so much at the moment. Was it his circumstance? Was it the Downworlders that had taken him? He didn’t know, but he tried to hang on to those memories. He needed to continue to remember, for Magnus, for Izzy, for Jace and Clary and his mother. So he could get out of here and return to them.

The creaking of the door opening behind him had him scrambling to calm himself down. But it was too late anyway, as three vampires appeared in his blurry vision. They laughed at him.

“Why are you crying, pretty boy?” one of them asked, curious. 

“Shut up,” Alec said through gritted teeth. “You can let me go now or I’ll cause you all the trouble,” he warned them. He may not have his runes, his stele, or his weapons, but he had himself still. He knew he was strong. He knew he could get out of here, even if it would take some time. He was determined now. Determined because he finally remembered who he was.

They laughed again, clearly amused by his warning. “Trouble? Awh man, that would suck. But I’m sure you’re going to be dead before you can really cause trouble,” another said. He threw a punch to Alec’s bruised side.

Alec cried out, wanting to double over. He felt nauseous as another punch hit the already sore area. He squeezed his eyes shut, gritted his teeth and let them throw punch after punch. He forced himself to be quiet.

“Come on, make some noise,” one of them said. “You feeling tough, boy? You don’t even know who you are.”

Alec opened his eyes and fixed his gaze on the three vampires. “Oh but I do know,” he said, and grinned then. “I am Alec Lightwood, a Shadowhunter. And Magnus will find me. And he will take you all down if I don’t do it before him.”

They were surprised by that. But the leader, or at least, Alec guessed that was the leader, quickly recovered and smirked. “Ah, so pretty boy is remembering.” He shrugged. “That’s too bad for you. No one is coming for you. Not even your husband.” 

Alec grinned at him. “Just yo-“ His sentence was cut off by a harsh slap to his face. He groaned, narrowing his eyes at the vampire. “Let me go and fight me, you cowards. Even now that I’m a mundane you couldn’t take me on.”

He seemed to consider that offer, seemed offended by that statement. But he was wise enough not to fall for it. “You can say whatever you like,” he said simply. “You’re not getting out of here. You’re our snack now.” He bared his teeth.

Alec felt a rush of panic then, tugging on the chains that engulfed his wrists. He heard more chains rattling, then felt his feet being secured. 

“Yeah, we were warned,” the vampire said. He grabbed a handful of Alec’s hair, tugged his head to the side and buried his teeth into Alec’s neck. 

It stung, initially, before the sedating properties of the vampire’s saliva kicked in. His eyes fluttered shut as the vampire drunk from him, sucking the blood from his pierced vein. Some of it dropped down his chest and he could hear the other vampires hissing, waiting for a taste of their own. Alec was feeling weak. As a Shadowhunter, he could last quite some time before losing consciousness. Now, as a mundane, even with angelic blood coursing through his veins, he could his consciousness waning as more and more blood was drunk from him. He wondered if this was the end.

The vampire pulled back then with a pop. He wiped the blood from his mouth and grinned, teeth stained red. “You’re rather a delicious snack,” he said. “Even as a mundane, your angelic blood is quite overwhelming.” 

He turned to the other vampires who were eagerly awaiting their chance. “Alright boys, have a taste. But don’t kill him. I have a feeling we can draw this out quite long.”

Alec could feel the other two vampires fighting before one of them hooked onto the wound already created. Another took his shoulder, teeth digging into his skin.

Alec was breathing hard by now, a combination of panic and pressure as one of the vampires gripped his bruised side. He was hurting all over it felt like, and being drawn empty more and more didn’t help him.

The vampires were pulled off of him and Alec was relieved. He stumbled on his feet a little, feeling dizzy and weak. Even though he wasn’t feeling any pain from the wounds, his ribs were hurting considerably. His head was pounding as well.

“Right,” the leader said. 

Alec could hear them leaving. He sighed in relief, he’d rather be alone then have anyone here with him. He opened his eyes and looked around, then looked up at his wrists, the chains. But he knew he wasn’t going to get out of there.

He sighed, leaned his head against his arm and closed his eyes. He was trembling as well. But he was conscious and alive and that was what mattered.

He’d been on the edge of death before. Quite a few times as well. Tracking Jace, Jace stabbing him with his own arrow when he was under the control of Lillith. This felt the same at the moment, though he doubted that he was dying. He just needed some rest and he’d be fine again. Or at least, that is what he hoped. He didn’t feel like dying, not yet. Not now that he was remembering again. He needed to get back to Magnus so they could continue their life.

Even if he was mortal and would die at some point, not now. He refused.

Alec wondered if his runes would return if he remembered all of it, if he would get back to his family. He hoped so. He really didn’t want to spend the rest of his life as a mundane, knowing what he could have been. He was a Shadowhunter in heart and soul, and not living like one was simply not an option. Even if he could remember.

Perhaps he could get it all back. Once he got out of here, the first thing he would do was run to the Institute. Tell them he remembered. Then find Magnus, hug him and never let him go again. Because being away for more than a year from him was simply too long. Even if he hadn’t had a choice.

His consciousness waned and he saw dark spots at the edges of his vision. He closed his eyes and let himself be taken by the darkness. He didn’t fight it, feeling too tired to fight it. He knew that he may wake up not remembering his past, but even if he did, he knew that the memories were there. He would always find them, no matter how long it took for him. He was going to remember, remember forever and find his way back to his husband and his family. Because he had to.

Alec was not a mundane after all. He was a Shadowhunter, determined to get back to where he belonged. He’d gone through too much to live a simple, boring mundane life. No, he wouldn’t let himself. So even if he woke up not remembering, he would in the end. Now that he was certain that his memories were still there, no one was going to take that away from him.

Alec slowly drifted off, repeating his happiest memories in his head. The wedding day, dancing with Magnus, enjoying the evening. He let himself be carried away into his memories as he fell asleep. He would need all the rest he could get if he was going to survive this.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope ya'll had a great Christmas!

_For the first time in over a year, Alec felt truly happy for once. The sun was out shining. The birds were singing. The trees were green, but there was a hint of autumn in the air. It was a gorgeous day to stroll through New York City’s Central Park. His hand was tangled in Magnus’s. They were both glamoured, just there to enjoy the peace. Alec had really missed spending time with Magnus, so he was glad to be here._

_It had been well over a year since he had been able to spend time with Magnus. Losing his memories and then living as a mundane hadn’t been a pleasant experience for him. He had hated it. But that all didn’t matter now. He had gained respect for the mundanes._

_Alec had never really liked mundanes much. But having now lived as one for a year had put things into perspective. But he was glad to be back as a Shadowhunter. It was what he knew, what he wanted. He was meant to be a Shadowhunter, not a mundane. And living as one had given so much more respect to his job._

_They sat down on a bench. Alec turned to Magnus and smiled, taking in his features. He knew the warlock had missed him as well. Magnus had been trying to find ways to get him back the entire time, and Alec was so grateful for that. He smiled._

_Everything around him seemed a little blurred though. As if this wasn’t reality. But he didn’t worry about that. All he could really focus on was that Magnus was here, with him. That they were back. That he was back, a Shadowhunter once more. He needed to hold on to that. He couldn’t lose his husband, his family and friends, again. He wouldn’t. He refused. He was here now._

_Magnus turned to look at Alec and saw his little smile. “What are you thinking?” he asked. He saw the thoughtful look in Alec’s eyes._

_Alec shrugged. “Just how much I love you,” he answered. And it was true. He really loved Magnus. Having lived without him for a year had been torture to him. But all of that didn’t matter now anyway. Because Alec was back home with his husband and his family and friends._

_Magnus smiled at that. “I love you too,” he said and leaned in, capturing Alec’s lips in a gentle kiss._

_Alec pulled back and cuddled up to Magnus, closing his eyes. How he had missed this. He was never letting this go._

Alec woke with a start, cold water hitting his face and his chest. He blinked the water from his eyes as his feet scrambled to get under him. He didn’t hear any chains and figured out that they had been removed. Once they were under him and he was standing, he glanced about. So it had been a dream. He wasn’t back home with Magnus. Disappointment tugged at his chest. It hurt to realise that he was still here, in this basement of horrors. He wanted to get out of here and return home, but he was stuck here. But at least he still remembered at the moment. He groaned once his eyes landed on the woman, accompanied by her two male companions.

She was wearing a red dress, red lipstick. She grinned as well as she tossed the bucket aside. So she had tossed ice cold water into his face. He would remember that. “Welcome back sleeping beauty,” she said.

“I’d rather be asleep,” Alec mused, raising an eyebrow at her. “What do you want?” He sounded irritated and unwelcome. He really just wanted them to fuck off and leave him alone.

“You’ve got an attitude on you,” she chuckled. “I like that.”

“Yeah, you like that attitude? If you let me go I’ll give you an even bigger one.” Alec challenged her, staring at her head-on.

She shook her head, too smart too fall for it.

Alec rolled his eyes. He didn’t really care about her. He just wanted to get out of here. If only he had his stele on him, he could get himself out of here. But he hadn’t. And he knew he couldn’t get out of these chains by himself, they were too strong and he didn’t want to risk breaking and hurting his wrists. 

“Anyway, we just wanted a snack,” she said with a shrug. She stepped into his space and tugged on his hair, moving his head aside.

“And you really needed me awake for that?” Alec sighed. He tried to ignore the stinging pain as she tugged on his hair.

“It’s much more fun that way,” she said, baring her teeth. She sunk them into Alec’s neck, puncturing his skin.

Alec closed his eyes, a shiver running down his spine. He was certain he was never going to get used to that feeling, even if it didn’t hurt after several seconds.

The woman pulled back, licking her lips. The other two men moved in, each taking a shoulder and digging in.

Alec let them. He knew that fighting wasn’t going to help him, even if he wanted to. He’d just have to take it and let them until he could get out of here.

He wasn’t even sure how much time had passed. His stomach growled and he was rather thirsty, so it must have been a while. Half a day? An entire day? Alec had no clue. Not that it really mattered. Even if it took him years to get out of here, he would. He would get out and return to the Institute, to his husband.

The two men pulled away and Alec opened his eyes, raising an eyebrow. “That’s all? You don’t want any more of my heavenly blood?”

The woman chuckled. “Why? You keen on dying?”

“Not exactly.” Alec shrugged. 

“You’d make a wonderful vampire,” the woman mused, looking at him. 

Alec tensed up at that. He had no plans of becoming a vampire. He knew what that process entailed. He knew he would have to die for the transformation to happen. And he knew there was a chance he may not survive. He was not keen on becoming a vampire. “You wouldn’t dare,” he said, but he sounded quite uncertain.

The woman laughed, grabbing onto his hair and tugging his head towards all sides, inspecting him. “Oh but I would,” she said. “The Clave won’t even care because you’re a mundane now. And they won’t find you. They won’t find us. We’ll be gone by the time they have figured out what has happened and you’ll be ours. Mine.”

Alec clenched his fists, controlling his breathing. “They will find me,” he said. “You’ll all be killed.”

The woman laughed once more, clearly amused. She let go of his hair and looked at him. “If you’re so certain.” She shrugged. “I will discuss this with the clan leader. I bet he won’t mind.” She took a step back. “Or I can turn you into a subjugate.”

“No,” Alec growled. He kicked out but she seemed prepared this time and grabbed his foot, holding it. Alec tried to tug it back, but was unable to. Instead, he felt her nails dig into his ankle.

“So he unchained your ankles, what a shame.” She held his ankle and grinned. “And now, pretty boy?”

“Shut up,” Alec growled. “Leave me alone.”

“You think you’re so much better than us, even now that you’re just a mundane,” she said, twisting his ankle a little. “You’re not.” She twisted his ankle violently, relishing in the crack that she felt.

Alec cried out, immediately pulling his foot back. He didn’t put weight on it, knowing it was likely broken. Another broken bone to add to his list. He grimaced and glared at her. But he remained quiet, not wanting to risk further injury. 

The woman chuckled. She threw a punch to his already injured side, amused as Alec tried to get away. She left, taking her two companions with them.

Alec closed his eyes and slowly lowered his foot, testing the injury. But the moment even a little bit of weight pressed down on it, pain exploded. He groaned, holding it up instead. As if like didn’t suck already, it just got worse. He really needed to learn to keep himself in check. But all he wanted to do was get out of here. He didn’t want to be turned into a subjugate or a vampire.

He tested the chains that circled his wrists, tugged on them while trying not to lose his balance too much. Pain was coursing through his body. He felt exhausted and weak. Why did he mess up his life so much.

He wondered if he was ever going to see Magnus and his family again. If they did turn him into a subjugate he wouldn’t. Because he’d be loyal to the vampire. If they turned him into a vampire, he wouldn’t return. He couldn’t.

The silence stretched on. Alec wanted to sleep on one hand, stay awake on the other. He wasn’t really sure what to do. Not that there was much he could do anyway. 

Alec let himself drift off again.  
\-----  
Magnus stood in Alec’s house, his bedroom, trying to reach Izzy. He looked around, trying to find signs of where Alec may have gone to. Alec hadn’t been here in a while, in at least a day. But the wards were in tact. Magnus also knew that Alec hadn’t gone to school or his job, so he knew something was wrong.

“Magnus,” Izzy answered the call.

“Finally,” Magnus mumbled. “Alec is missing.”

There was a silence for a minute or so. “How do you know?” Izzy asked, sounding concerned.

“He hasn’t been to school or his job. And he isn’t home. Hasn’t been in at least a day.” Magnus took Alec’s stele and left the house, making sure to lock it up. He looked around, uncertain what to do. He had tried tracking Alec’s phone, but it hadn’t given him anything. And tracking Alec himself hadn’t either. He was really worried about his husband. He just wanted to make sure that Alec was okay.

“Okay,” Izzy said. “Jace!” she called, but her voice sounded faded.

Magnus could hear them discuss. He guessed Izzy had pulled the phone away from her ear. He got a few words though.

“We’ll meet you at your apartment,” Izzy said.

“Okay,” he said and hung up the call. He headed for his loft, walking through the street. He tried to get a feeling of Alec, but there was nothing. The trail was cold if there was any. It made Magnus wonder how long it had been since Alec had disappeared.

He hadn’t seen his husband in the past three days or so. He’d decided to leave him alone for a bit. Now he wondered if that had been the right choice. But he’d been busy preparing the spell to summon the Angel. Because he had seen that Alec needed to remember. Magnus had been worried that Alec might hurt himself if Magnus didn’t hurry up.

But perhaps it was already too late.

Tears burned at the corners of his eyes but he swallowed and took a deep breath. He had to believe that Alec was out there, alive, still. That he would find his husband and bring him back. He just had to believe it. He couldn’t give up. Alec was his life. He needed more time with him.

He returned to the loft and found Izzy, Jace and Clary waiting for him. He let them in and shut the door behind him. His apartment was a mess. Books strewn about. Herbs and ingredients everywhere. He groaned, looking around.

“What have you been up to?” Jace asked. Magnus’s apartment had been nothing but organised for the entire time he had known Magnus. But not now, apparently.

“I’ve been putting together a spell to summon an Angel, trap him if necessary,” Magnus explained. He snapped his fingers and the apartment cleaned itself up. He fixed himself a drink and threw it back, sitting down in a chair.

“Magnus,” Izzy said, worried. “You know you can’t do that.”

Magnus looked at Izzy. “I can and I will,” he said, stubbornly. “I will get my husband back, at all costs.”

Clary swallowed, feeling guilty. She had been feeling guilty ever since shit went down, even if she knew it wasn’t her fault. She’d considered contacting the Angels as well, but she knew that she could get punished as well. And she didn’t want that.

“You said Alec was missing,” Clary said. “How do you know?”

Magnus shrugged. “He hasn’t been to school or his job and he wasn’t been home in at least a day, probably more.”

“Have you tried tracking him?” Clary asked.

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Obviously,” he said, sounding irritated.

Jace’s hand moved to his side. He wondered if he could track Alec still through his bond. He knew that Alec still had his parabatai rune. So it could be worth the try. Even if it was dangerous.

“Maybe I can track him,” Jace said. “Alec still has his parabatai rune.”

“No,” Izzy said immediately. “No, it’s dangerous and you know it. It might kill you, even.”

Jace rolled his eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“We don’t have Alec to pull you back this time,” Clary said, afraid as well. “We’ll find him, Jace. But let’s not risk any of our lives doing dangerous things to try and find him.”

Magnus pinched the bridge of his nose. Perhaps he shouldn’t have called on them. Although he wasn’t certain that he could find his husband alone.

Izzy’s phone buzzed. She picked up the call. “Hey Simon,” she said.

She listened to Simon. “Simon, I don’t really have time for a rogue clan of vampires right now.” She would just send a group of Shadowhunters to investigate. But then she paled. “Wait, let me put you on speaker.” She did so.

“Right,” Simon said. “There’s a rogue clan of vampires on the industrial terrain at the edge of the city. Rumour has it they have been dragging off mundanes. One survived and escaped and she ran into me. She told me there was another person, with black hair and a tattoo on his side. But he wasn’t in great shape.”

“Alec,” Magnus said, getting up. 

“Possibly. The other vampires talked about him, apparently. Saying that he’s a worthless Shadowhunter now that he’s a mundane,” Simon explained.

“Fuck,” Jace said. “Let’s go.”

“Simon, do you know where it is?” Izzy asked.

“Yes,” Simon said. “I’m at the area. I’ll text you the address.” 

The call ended. 

Magnus was pacing. He knew he should have continued to check up on Alec. He knew that Alec would go and do something stupid. He didn’t understand why he was so stupid.

“Okay, I’ve got the address,” Izzy said. She showed it to Magnus.

Magnus looked at the address. He conjured up a portal and let them pass through before passing through it himself. He appeared in an industrial area. It was mostly empty, a row of houses with alleys between them. 

“Let’s search them together, one by one,” Simon suggested. “We don’t know how many vampires this clan has.”

Magnus wanted to interject but decided not to. They needed to find Alec and that was his priority. So they searched every house.

Simon found a doorway to a basement in the second to last house. He opened the door and headed downstairs, the others following. “Shit,” Simon cursed the moment he saw Alec.

Magnus rushed past them towards Alec. He removed the chains and caught Alec as the man slumped in his arms, eyes closed. There were dark bruises covering his bare chest, as well as puncture marks. He checked for a pulse, but Alec was luckily still alive.

The others crowed them as Magnus moved his hand over the injuries. 

“What the fuck?” a woman screeched.

Izzy, Simon, Jace and Clary turned around, coming face to face with a woman and a group of six vampires. 

“Get them, boys,” she ordered.

Izzy let her bracelet snake down her wrist to the ground. Jace and Clary took their weapons. Simon prepared himself, taking a step back to defend Alec and Magnus if necessary.

Quite a fight ensured, but the vampires were quickly put down. Izzy went after the other vampire, followed by Simon as Clary and Jace turned back to Magnus and Alec.

“How is he?” Jace asked, worried.

“Alive,” Magnus mumbled. “We need to get him to a hospital.”

Izzy returned, followed by a restrained woman and a man and Simon. “If you get me a portal to the Institute, I’ll lock them away and meet you at the hospital,” she said.

Magnus conjured Izzy a portal. She and Simon, along with the two prisoners, stepped through it and the portal closed. He conjured another portal. Jace and Clary stepped through it first, followed by Magnus carrying Alec.

They appeared outside the hospital.

“Magnus,” Alec mumbled, opening his eyes. He reached up and touched his cheek. “Is this a dream?” he whispered.

Jace and Clary turned around and looked at Alec.

“No,” Magnus said. “I’m here.”

Alec smiled weakly and turned his head. He looked at Jace and Clary. “Did you guys rescue me?” he asked.

Jace nodded, stepping closer. “You remember?”

“Bits and pieces,” Alec admitted. “Not all of it. But more and more.” He looked back up at Magnus, smiled before his eyes fluttered shut.

“Hey, stay awake,” Magnus said softly, shaking him. But Alec didn’t respond. Magnus sighed and headed inside the hospital, calling on Catarina, who came rushing to his aid.

Alec was taken away as Catarina ushered the other nurses to get him checked out. She turned to Magnus, a questioning look in her eyes. “Tell me this isn’t another case of trying to have him remember,” she said, worried.

Magnus shook his head. “No, he’s been attacked and fed on by vampires,” he explained. 

“Okay,” Catarina said, and gestured them to follow her. They did. She took them to a nearby waiting room and opened the door. “Wait here,” she said. “I’ll be back as soon as I can with some news.”

They settled in the room. Izzy joined them an hour or so later, so Magnus explained to her that Alec had been remembering bits and pieces. He just hoped that he still would when he woke up. Magnus didn’t want to lose Alec, not to his memory loss. But there was nothing any of them could do at the moment. They would just have to wait and hope for the best.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope all of you have a happy new year! <3

_Alec was strolling through New York City’s Central Park, his hand clasped into Magnus’s. The sky was clear and blue above them. There were no clouds. It was a relatively warm day. A hint of autumn in the air. The trees still bright green._

_Everything passed in a blur for him, as if this was the thousandth time that he had been doing this. He looked at Magnus, who looked untouched and beautiful. His makeup neatly done. His hair perfectly styled. His clothing fabulous, as always. And yet something was off, he just knew it. He was pretty certain that he wasn’t supposed to be here._

_And also, hadn’t he been kidnapped by vampires and then saved by Magnus?_

_Everything seemed so confusing. Alec couldn’t really make any sense of it all. His head was a mess, memories strewn about here and there. He didn’t really know what to do, and all he really could do was go along as they walked. The only upside was that this was peaceful._

_They sat down. They were glamoured so no mundanes would be seeing them. Privacy. Alec liked his privacy quite a bit. He didn’t want to be looked at by simple mundanes who only knew their own tiny little world. Mundanes who didn’t know of the dangers out there. The dangers that he and other Shadowhunters and downworlders faced every day._

_The world was a whole lot more dangerous than mundanes realised._

_Birds sang. Alec glanced around, but everything just seemed far away, not important. He could only really focus on Magnus, take in his details, admire him. Magnus smiled at him and Alec smiled back. This seemed lovely, even if it didn’t seem entirely right. He just knew that something was wrong._

_Perhaps his body was keeping him safe by having him locked in his mind. He didn’t know. He kind of didn’t want to care at the moment. But he also didn’t want to be stuck here forever, in this moment. And that was what he feared._

_And then he heard noises and voices. The edges of his vision grew dark, as if the sun was setting rapidly, taking all the light with it. He looked at Magnus, but his husband was gone. His eyelids felt incredibly heavy and no matter how hard he tried to keep them open, they fell shut._

Alec opened his eyes and rapidly forced himself to sit up. He looked around, breathing fast and hard as people fussed about him. There were bright lights and lots of noises and Alec needed to get away. He didn’t know where he was. All he knew was that he needed to get to Magnus. He needed to get to his husband.

“Alec,” a familiar voice called to him.

Alec blinked and focused on the person waving a hand in front of his eyes. He took in her appearance, and slowly it dawned on him who she was. Catarina.

“Catarina,” he mumbled. He was confused, wondering why she, and other nurses, were hovering over him. “Where is Magnus?” he asked, suddenly afraid that something had happened to Magnus.

“Magnus is in a separate waiting room,” she explained. She motioned for the nurses to take a few steps back. “Alec, you need to stop resisting,” she said gently. “We’re going to help you. You’re injured. But you need to stop resisting us. Otherwise your injuries will get worse.”

Alec shook his head. His injuries didn’t matter. All he wanted was to get to Magnus. “I need to get to him,” he said, sounding desperate.

Only then did he feel the pain that he was in. He glanced down and saw that his side was bleeding. He put a hand to the wound. It was large, connected by broken stitches. He started feeling faint too. He looked towards Catarina with panic in his eyes. “What’s happening?”

“Just relax,” she said, her hand sparking that familiar blue. “You’re going to be okay.”

Alec closed his eyes as she put her hand to the side of his head. He started feeling groggy, tired. He felt the need to fall asleep, but he didn’t want to. He was afraid that he wasn’t going to wake up. That he was never going to wake up again.

But the need became stronger and he couldn’t fight it. He wasn’t strong enough. Alec started drifting off into a deep sleep slowly.

Catarina sighed, relaxing. She snapped her fingers and the other nurses came back to life, fussing over Alec once more.

Several hours passed as they tried to help Alec, but his injuries were more profound. Scans had showed them that his body was shutting down. He desperately needed blood transfusions. She knew that the news she would have to tell Magnus and his friends wasn’t going to be good.

Once the final decisions had been made, Catarina returned to the waiting room. She quietly opened the door and peeked her head in.

“Catarina,” Magnus perked up, looking at his fellow warlock. He stood up as she went into the room and closed the door behind her. “How is he?”

Catarina shook her head. “It’s not good,” she said, looking at the little group. “His injuries are worse than we first thought. He has some broken ribs and a broken ankle. He needs a blood transfusion desperately. He woke up while we were checking on him and he seemed quite frantic too. His body is shutting down.” She sighed, leaning against the door. It wasn’t easy bringing such news and seeing the faces twist into despair and fear. “How long has he been gone?”

“A few days,” Magnus said. “At least. I’m not sure.” The news that Catarina brought hurt. It made him fearful that he might lose his husband still.

“Well,” Catarina said, “it’s been longer than just a few days, we’re sure of. He’s been starving and dehydrated so his body has turned on himself to keep him alive. We’ve put him into a coma for now so he isn’t going to injure himself any further.”

“A coma,” Izzy cut in, frowning. “Will he wake up from it?”

“It’s for a few days,” Catarina ensured her. “So that his body can gain some strength and we can help him.” She turned to Magnus. “I’ve contacted Tessa and Brother Zachariah. They’ll be coming over to help me. He needs a lot of magic to heal.”

At the thought of seeing Tessa again, a shiver ran down his spine. Tessa was an old friend of his, along with Brother Zachariah. He knew them well but didn’t see them that often. He nodded.

“Okay,” he said.

“You’re allowed to stay here,” Catarina said. “I can take you to see him in pairs.”

Magnus itched to go see his husband. So he followed after Catarina, the others staying behind. He put his hands in his pockets and tried not to think of worst-case scenarios. He had to be positive. Alec was going to make it through, he was certain of it.

The door opened to Alec’s room and Magnus stepped inside. He burst into tears the moment he saw his husband laying there, on the bed, hooked to all kinds of machines. He wasn’t even breathing on his own, even that was being regulated.

Magnus looked at Catarina. “Can he… Can he hear me?” he asked, voice cracking at the end.

“Likely not,” Catarina said. “But do talk to him, we never know for certain.”

Magnus nodded and sat down in a chair at the bedside. Catarina left him. He took Alec’s hand in his own and pressed it against his cheek. He closed his eyes and forced himself to take deep breaths. He had to stay strong for his husband. Had to stay positive that everything was going to be okay. Because it had to.

“Alexander,” Magnus whispered. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but if you do, please listen. You’re going to be fine, I promise. You’re going to make it through. And once you’re healed and awake again, you’ll be here, with me. And I’m never letting you go. Ever.”

Silence stretched between them. There was no movement, which he could have expected considering Alec was in a coma. But it hurt anyway. He felt a sob rise in his throat but swallowed it down. No, he had to be strong. And he would be.

The next few hours were spent at Alec’s bedside, while Jace, Izzy and Clary joined him one by one. He didn’t really talk to any of them, most of all he just wanted to be left alone with his husband. So when Clary left, he was glad. Because it meant that he was once more alone with his husband.

Magnus felt exhausted. He hadn’t really been sleeping well the past few days. He felt his eyes droop shut slowly, even as he tried to stay awake. But he knew he needed his sleep, so he let himself fall asleep eventually.  
\-----   
Izzy returned to the Institute with Clary and Jace. She rolled her shoulders, feeling tense. Having seen her brother like that, comatose, had been a different experience. It had brought her back to when Alec had almost died when he had tried to track Jace. Alec didn’t deserve this. He had been through enough. And yet here they were.

She felt really bad for Magnus as well, considering how tough it must be on him. She wasn’t sure how she would have held herself if she had gotten married and then lost her partner. She thought of losing Simon and cringed. It was something she’d rather not think about.

“What do we do now?” Clary asked, looking at Jace and Izzy. She felt immensely guilty, because it was of her that the Angels had punished Alec. But she knew that there was nothing that she could do about it. She was hopeful though that Alec would wake up remembering.

“I’m going to interrogate the vampires,” Izzy said, looking at Jace.

“I’m coming as well,” Jace said. He turned to Clary and kissed her forehead. “You should get some rest. I’ll join you soon.”

“Okay,” Clary said, withdrawing from him and leaving.

Izzy and Jace headed down to the holding cells of the Institute. Izzy was more than ready to beat up the vampires in order to get answers from them. She wanted some satisfaction. But she knew she couldn’t. And neither could Jace. But she itched for it though.

As they approached the holding cells, she thought of what she wanted to ask. She didn’t really want to ask them anything. All she wanted to do was throw some punches into their faces and hurt them.

They entered the cell. Both vampires were locked in chains in chairs. She observed them as they observed her. And one more she thought of what to say, what to ask. Nothing came to her mind really, which was disappointing in and of itself.

“How did you find Alec?” Jace asked.

Izzy was glad about that. Perhaps Jace could get the answers from them that they needed.

“He was trespassing on our territory,” the man said, grinning. “Seemed like a tasty snack.”

“Oh, he was definitely tasty,” the woman said with a chuckle. “Quite enjoyed his blood.”

Izzy clenched her fists, taking a deep breath to keep herself calm. She could see Jace doing the same and knew he wanted to throw a punch too. But they kept calm.

“Feeding on mundanes has been banned for several months now. There are better, more humane ways to get blood. Accessible to all downworlders.” Jace raised an eyebrow. “So why?”

“Because we don’t care for bloodbags,” the woman said. She rolled her eyes. “It’s much better from the source.”

“We don’t adhere to Clave rules,” the man spat. “Filthy Shadowhunters.”

Jace laughed then. “It’s not just Clave rules. It’s in the Accords.” He took a step closer and bent down towards the man. “You know you’ll be punished for this. Put to death for sure.”

The man hissed at him. “We did nothing wrong. We simply followed our instincts.”

Jace straightened up and shrugged. “You broke the Law, the Accords. You’ll have lots of fun in the cells in Alicante.”

The man was about to say something, but kept his mouth shut as a last-second decision. He glanced away instead.

Jace looked towards Izzy, raising an eyebrow. Normally, she would lead interrogations, but it seemed like she hadn’t really anything to say. And he could understand. He would much rather give the two a beating as well, but together they were leading the Institute so they couldn’t.

“How long did you have Alec?” Izzy asked, coming forward.

“Five days,” the woman said. “How did you find us?”

“One of your captives escaped,” Izzy explained. “She’s in a safe house now, told us where you were hiding out.”

“Damnit,” the woman cursed, looking towards the man. “Did you let one escape, really?”

“It wasn’t me!” He defended himself. “Probably someone else. Someone who was stupid enough thinking that she couldn’t escape.”

The woman groaned, rolling her eyes. “Annoying.”

“Must be quite annoying yeah,” Izzy said, looking at the pair. “Now you’ll be put to death soon because of that mistake.” She shrugged carelessly. “Oh well.”

“Let us go,” the woman said. “We’ll disappear and you’ll never hear from us again, I promise.”

Izzy chuckled. “Let you go? After what you did to my brother?” She bent down and grinned at her. “I will never let you go. When they execute you, I will be there, watching it. Because it will give me the greatest satisfaction.”

“He shouldn’t have trespassed!” The man yelled, trying to get out of the chains that kept him down in his chair. The chair rattled but didn’t move. “It’s not our fault your little Shadowhunter crossed into my territory. It was fair game.”

Izzy slapped him, fuming with anger. She took some deep breaths through her nose. “You will never be forgiven for what you did. And if he dies, you’ll get your death straight from my own hands.”

“Ah,” the woman said, now smiling. “So he’s dying.”

“I never said that,” Izzy said, taken aback. She glared at the woman, suddenly not trusting her.

“Didn’t you?” She chuckled. “Sounded like you did. Mhm, I wonder if he will die indeed. If he does and you bury him, he can become a vampire. He begged us for it even.”

“He wouldn’t,” Jace growled, clenching his fists. “He wouldn’t.”

“Oh but he would,” she said, looking from Jace to Izzy. “Begged us so prettily too. Said he was bored of the mundane life and that he knew he was never going to be a Shadowhunter again. At least that way he could still be a part of that world, of the Downworld.”

Jace shook his head, not believing her. No matter how much Alec hated the mundane life, he just knew that Alec would never beg to become a vampire. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Jace wouldn’t believe it, not ever.

The woman laughed, amused now. “You don’t have to believe me. I have video footage though.”

“Where?” Izzy asked surprisingly calm.

The woman shrugged. “Let me go and I’ll tell you.”

“No,” Izzy said. “Tell me and I’ll show you some kindness. Instead of dying, you can spend your entire life locked away in Alicante.”

The woman considered that offer. “It’s on a usb-stick. Back at the place where you found us.”

Izzy looked towards Jace, who was already calling for Shadowhunters to go search the place. She looked back towards the woman. “If it’s true, I’ll be back. If it isn’t…” She shook her head. “I’ll personally put you to death.”

The woman smiled, almost innocently. Izzy wanted to slap the smile from the woman’s face, but didn’t. Instead, she followed Jace out of the cell and closed the door, locking it. She sighed, wondering if it was true.

“There’s no way,” Jace said, looking at Izzy. “They must have forced him. If he was remembering enough to know he may never be a Shadowhunter again… I’m certain he’d be fine with living as a mundane with us. Because he knows he wouldn’t care.”

Izzy looked at Jace. “Yeah,” she said, though she didn’t sound so convinced. She wasn’t sure. She knew Alec would have turned himself into a vampire to go to Edom to rescue Magnus. Luckily they had found something else that had worked thanks to Clary. So she was uncertain. But it didn’t matter now. She wouldn’t let her brother turn himself into a vampire, not now that he was rescued from those vampires. They would find a way to either have him become a Shadowhunter again, or to have him live with them as mundane. She didn’t care either way. All she wanted was her brother back.

Jace sighed and pulled her into a hug. He knew this was really difficult for her. For all of them. But he could see her struggle. He let go of her. “He’ll be okay,” he said. “He’ll be okay and he’ll be a Shadowhunter again.”

Izzy smiled at him. “Yeah,” she said. They headed back up. Simon was waiting for her outside the Institute. She greeted him and let herself be taken towards their shared apartment. She was exhausted and she could use some rest.

“How is Alec?” Simon asked, holding her hand as they walked.

“Not good,” Izzy admitted. “He’s in a coma for now.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Simon looked at her and could see how tired she was. “Did you eat yet?” he asked.

Izzy shook her head. She hadn’t. Night was settling over the evening. Only now did she feel the hunger in her stomach. But she didn’t really feel like eating if she was honest. She was too worried for her brother.

They entered their apartment. Simon closed the door. “Go take a bath. I’ll order food,” he said, ushering her gently towards the bathroom.

After a warm bath and some food in her stomach she settled into bed. Simon crawled in beside her and let her cuddle up to him. He held her gently as she fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

_Alec could have sworn he had been here before. That he had walked down this path so many times he knew exactly where the bumps in it were. His hand was in Magnus’s. The birds were singing. The trees were green, the wind chilly. A hint of autumn in the air. This was all so familiar. It felt as if he had walked this path, experienced this exact moment, a thousand times. It felt so familiar and yet it felt different every single time._

_They were glamoured, avoiding mundane gazes. Alec wasn’t fond of mundanes, though he had gained rather some respect for them. Having lived as a mundane for over a year had definitely put things into perspective. But still, he disliked mundanes and would rather avoid being looked at by them. Luckily, he was a Shadowhunter once more, living a glamoured live away from mundanes. Life was good once more, and he could only appreciate everything so much more._

_Magnus’s hand was warm in his. He smiled, edging closer so their shoulders were touching as they walked. He enjoyed spending time with Magnus, it had been too long. Every moment spent with Magnus now was enjoyed twice as much as usual. He really appreciated being back with his husband, and he wasn’t leaving now. He would make sure to never leave his husband again._

_They sat down on one of the benches along the path. Alec looked around, letting his surroundings sink in. Central Park was truly a stunning piece of New York City and he could see now why mundanes felt attracted to it. It was peaceful, quiet, away from the city’s busy traffic and streets._

_He caught Magnus looking at him. He raised a questioning eyebrow. “What?” he asked._

_Magnus smiled. “Just really glad to have you back with me,” he answered._

_Alec smiled at that, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to Magnus’s lips. “Me too,” he said._

_Silence stretched between them. Alec looked around, but everything was blurry now, as if it all didn’t matter. He looked back towards Magnus, who was as clear and sharply focused as something could be in his vision. He blinked and looked back at his surroundings, but it was vague, distanced._

_This disturbed him. Perhaps something was wrong with his vision. He rubbed his eyes and looked again, but nothing. He caught Magnus looking at him again._

_“I think something is wrong with my vision,” Alec mumbled._

_Magnus smiled. “Just really glad to have you back with me,” he said._

_Alec frowned, disturbed now. He stood up quickly, causing a wave of dizziness to come over him. He steadied himself against the bench and looked towards Magnus, but the warlock was gone._

_“Magnus?” he asked._

_“He’s not here,” a familiar voice said behind him._

_Alec swirled around and looked at the woman in the red dress. She was pretty, tall. He frowned. “Who are you?”_

_She grinned at him. “You’re hungry, aren’t you?”_

_Alec wanted to shake his head, but his stomach growled. But it wasn’t for food, no. It was for something more sinister. He shivered. “No,” he said._

_“But you are,” she said, seemingly innocent. “I know you are. And you know where to get it, how to get it. You want to change, no?”_

_Alec gripped his shirt in his fist, the feeling over hunger overwhelming him. He fell to his knees, trying to contain himself. His vision was blurry, dark spots in the corners. He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on his breathing._

_The world shifted around him. He opened his eyes and found himself in a dark basement. His hands were chained above him, his shirt was gone. He frowned, trying to tug his hands free. His runes were gone._

_And then it hit him. He was still stuck here, in this basement, being nothing but a bloodbag to vampires. A door opened behind him and a few seconds later some vampires, including the woman, appeared in his vision. They bared their teeth and attacked, latching onto their skin. He could feel his consciousness waning. He tried to stay awake, but his eyes fell shut and he felt himself become unconscious._  
\-----   
Magnus watched Tessa and Catarina do their magic, bending over Alec and healing him bit by bit. He stood outside the room, feeling a little hopeless. The past few days had been difficult, as Alec had been kept in a coma. It wasn’t a pretty sight. Three times a day, Tessa and Catarina would bend themselves over his husband to heal him, while Brother Zachariah guided them through it.

It was working though. Alec was healing, getting stronger. He’d be waking up today probably, if this healing session would go well. Though he didn’t expect anything to go bad. He just wanted to hug Alec again. And yet, there was this nagging in his head, telling him that Alec may not remember. He hated that thought. He hated that possibility. He didn’t want it to be true, but he knew he had to prepare himself for it.

The door opened and Magnus blinked, pulling himself in the here and now. He looked at Catarina, who smiled gently at him. She’d been there for him all the way, making sure he ate and drunk and kept himself healthy. 

“How is he?” Magnus asked, anxiously fiddling with the wedding ring. The same habit that Alec had.

“We’re slowly going to wake him up now,” Catarina explained. “He’s likely going to be confused and anxious. We’re not sure, obviously, if he’ll remember you. But I want you there with him, just in case.”

Magnus nodded and let himself be guided into the room. A quick nod to Tessa and Brother Zachariah was all the greeting he did. He sat down next to Alec and held his hand in his.

The hospital was blessedly unaware of all the things happening here to make Alec better. Magnus had put up wards so this room was temporarily unavailable. So no mundane came around here.

Several hours passed, it was a slow process. But finally, Alec moved. His toes wiggled, his fingers gripped and squeezed. Magnus watched quietly, heart hammering in his chest.

Alec’s eyes flew open, body forcing itself into a seated position. He looked around with wide eyes, confused as to where he was.

“Alexander,” Magnus said softly, getting up. “Alexander, it’s me. You’re okay, you’re safe.”

Alec’s head snapped towards Magnus. He took in the warlock’s appearance, which was rather dishevelled. He reached out to Magnus, touching his cheek. “Are you real?” he asked, disbelieving.

Perhaps this was just another stupid dream to keep him under. But he looked so real, it felt so real. He looked around the room again and saw Catarina, Brother Zachariah and someone he didn’t recognise. She seemed kind, offering a small smile. He turned back to Magnus.

Magnus smiled. “I’m real,” he reassured Alec, placing his hand over Alec’s. “I promise. You’re safe now, it’s okay.”

Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus and buried his face into the crook of Magnus’s neck. He breathed in the warlock’s scent and closed his eyes, letting the warmth of Magnus’s body seep into his. So he was finally safe, and he was finally remembering Magnus.

Magnus held him tight, eyes closed. “I’m so happy to have you back,” he whispered.

Alec pulled back and looked at Magnus. “What happened?” he asked. “What about the vampires?”

“They’re being guarded,” Magnus said. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Alec,” Catarina cut in, touching his shoulder. “You’re not feeling any chest pains?”

Alec turned to Catarina and shook his head. “No,” he said.

“How much do you remember?” Brother Zachariah asked.

Alec thought about that. He remembered most, but not all. There were still holes in his memories. Especially of his youth. He wasn’t exactly sure what he should be remembering of his youth, he knew that it was important, but he couldn’t place any of it. They were just dark holes in his mind. But even recent events were vague to him. He remembered marrying Magnus, but it’s vague, not complete. He knew why he didn’t remember after that, because of the Angels. But still.

“Bits and pieces. I remember most of it, but it’s all very vague. I know that events happened but not with the clarity of all the details. And there’s still holes in my memory.” He looked at Brother Zachariah. 

“Interesting,” Brother Zachariah mused. He thought about that. “I’ll see if the Brothers keep any records about this.”

“I’ll see what I can find as well,” Tessa said, looking from Brother Zachariah to Magnus. 

Magnus gave both of them a small nod before they left. Catarina left as well, leaving the two alone for now. He was grateful to spend some alone time with his husband.

“What if I forget?” Alec asked, looking uncertain. He looked down at his hands, folded neatly in his lap. He didn’t want to forget and go back to mundane life. He didn’t really care if he stayed a mundane for the rest of his life, as long as he remembered his Shadowhunter life before it. As long as he could stay with Magnus and grow old with him.

Magnus shook his head. “I don’t know,” he said, also uncertain. “I’ll find a way, I promise. I can’t let you go, I can’t stay away.”

Alec looked at Magnus and saw the fear but also the determination in his eyes. He smiled at that, knowing that Magnus would fight for them if Alec stopped remembering. But it still had him anxious. He just didn’t want to forget. He wanted to return to his old life, be a Shadowhunter again. He was meant to be a Shadowhunter, not being one felt wrong, felt like his identity had been torn away from him. And yet there wasn’t anything he could do about it at the moment. He would just have to hope that some day he could be a Shadowhunter again.

He settled down on the bed and felt his eyes droop shut. He was rather tired at the moment, so he let himself fall asleep.  
\-----   
Izzy was browsing through the video footage they had obtained several days ago. The female vampire had spoken the truth about Alec begging them. But it didn’t exactly sit right with her. She could see the fear in Alec’s eyes and she had an inkling that he had been forced to beg, for entertainment probably.

It made her angry. To think that Alec had gone through this, been forced through that. But it was as it was at the moment. She wondered how he was doing briefly, so she decided to text Magnus.

The past few days had been hard on all of them. Having seen Alec in a coma was frightening. He had looked peaceful, yet not himself. Pale and thin. She had visited every day, also to check in on Magnus. He wasn’t faring too well either. Neither of them really were. Only Maryse, her mother, seemed to be holding them together. She was their rock at the moment. Izzy was grateful for that, always.

“Izzy,” Jace called for her.

Izzy turned around in her chair, shutting off the computer screen. “Jace,” she said, looking up at him.

“You need to get some rest,” Jace said, smiling at her. “Really. You’ve been staring at that screen for hours now.”

Izzy shrugged. She was still thinking about what to say when she would go back down to confront the vampires. She wasn’t certain. The woman had spoken the truth, and that hurt. She didn’t exactly know how to deal with it, but she had to. At some point. Before they would be turned over and transported to Alicante.

“I’m going back down to see the vampires,” she said instead, getting up from her chair. She took her phone, pocketing it.

“Are you certain about that?” Jace asked, seeing the strain in her shoulders. He knew she was tired. All of them were. The past few days hadn’t been easy, obviously.

Izzy nodded, heading towards the elevators.

Jace decided to accompany her. They rode down to the cells in silence, then walked towards the holding cell where the vampires were. Izzy opened the door and stepped inside, followed by Jace, who shut the door behind them.

“Finally back?” the woman taunted, grinning at Izzy and Jace. “I told you, I spoke the truth.”

“You forced him to,” Izzy said, crossing her arms over her chest. “You forced him to beg. Sickening.”

The woman laughed. “So what? A little entertainment is never dull.” She shrugged.

“Yes, it must have been entertaining.” Izzy grinned now. “As it will be entertaining to watch you burn.”

The woman’s eyes flashed with anger and she momentarily fought her restraints. “You promised!” she yelled. “You promised leniency!”

Izzy shrugged carelessly. “You obviously don’t deserve it,” she said. “I don’t care what I promised, you’re not getting it. I will be there to watch you burn and die a horrible death. That is what you deserve and that is what you will get.”

Before the woman could throw a temper tantrum, Izzy’s phone rang. She grabbed it as she went outside, answering the call from Magnus. “Hey Magnus,” she said.

“Alec woke up,” Magnus said. He sounded calm, peaceful. “He’s asleep now, but he’s no longer in a coma.”

“Oh thank god,” Izzy said, relieved. “Did he… Did he remember?” she asked.

“Yes,” Magnus said. “Not all of it, but most of it vaguely at least. So we can get him back, Isabelle.”

Izzy smiled, turning away from the glass window. This was good news. She wanted her brother back, and this meant that she could get him back. Though she was still worried. The Angels weren’t very forgiving, she knew. That much had been shown to them the past year. But she had hope now.

“I’m so glad,” Izzy said. 

“Me too,” Magnus said. “But we need to be careful, still.”

“Of course,” Izzy said, turning to the glass window. Jace was still there, the woman was talking, looking furious. “I’ll be over in a bit,” she said.

“Okay,” Magnus said and hung up the call.

Izzy clicked off and smiled, feeling some happiness for the first time in days. This really was good news. She went back into the room.

“What are you smiling for?” the woman asked, looking rather furious.

“Nothing that concerns you really,” Izzy said. “But my brother woke up, and he’s doing well.” She smiled at Jace. “We should go over.”

Jace nodded.

“Tell him that we’ll be coming for him,” the woman said, calmly now. “We’ll be coming for him, and we’ll end what we started.”

Izzy clenched her fists. “No,” she said. “The only thing you’ll be doing is burning in a few days.” She turned and left the cell, Jace following behind her. She walked to the elevator.

They made their way over to the hospital. They didn’t talk to each other, they didn’t need to. Both were relieved that Alec had woken up.

Izzy knocked before she opened the door to Alec’s room. She smiled at Magnus, who stood up and hugged her. She then looked over at her brother, who was asleep. He looked peaceful, he looked a lot healthier too.

Alec’s eyes fluttered and opened. He blinked a few times to get the sleepy fog from his brain, before focusing on Izzy and Jace. He smiled lazily, waving at them before sitting up.

“Hey,” he said.

“Alec,” Izzy said, moving in to hug him. It felt good hugging her brother for the first time in over a year. She had missed this. She and Alec had always been close to each other, and losing him had been difficult. But that was going to change now.

She let go and took a few steps back. Jace moved in and hugged Alec as well before letting go.

“It’s good to see you,” Jace said, smiling. “Can’t wait to have you back as my parabatai.”

Alec smiled, then frowned. “It’s not certain that I’ll be getting my runes back,” he said quietly, looking down. He wanted them back, needed them. But still. He knew there was a very real chance he may never have his runes again, that he may never be a Shadowhunter again. He would have to continue thinking about that.

“We’ll find a way,” Izzy said, reassuring him. “I promise, Alec. You’ll be a Shadowhunter again.”

Alec looked up at Izzy and Jace. They looked so full of hope and that warmed his heart, even if he knew the chance was small. He nodded at them. “I know,” he said. “Thank you.”

Jace chuckled. “No need to thank us yet,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” Alec admitted. “But a lot better. Thank you for rescuing me.” He didn’t know what would have happened to him if he had stayed any longer with the vampires. They might have turned him, and that was not something that he wanted. He shivered, remembering the things they did to him. Feeding on him and playing games with him.

“Any time big brother,” Izzy said and smiled. “We should go, if you’re tired. You’ll want to rest, probably.”

Alec shook his head. “No, stay for a bit,” he said. He didn’t really want to sleep, his sleep filled with nightmares. He would rather stay awake for now, for a bit.

“Okay,” Izzy said, taking a chair and sitting down. “I’m really glad to have you back,” she said. “It’s been awful not having you with us, you know. I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Alec said, taking her hand. “I missed all of you. The year hasn’t been great for me either. Living as a mundane has given me a new perspective of them, but never again. It’s so mind dulling.”

Jace chuckled. “A new perspective of mundanes? Are you telling me you’ve come to respect them? Alec Lightwood respecting mundanes?”

“Oh shut up,” Alec groaned. “You want to trade perhaps? See how you fare as a mundane?”

Jace laughed. “No thank you,” he said. “I’m fine being a Shadowhunter.”

They continued to banter for an hour or so, until Alec grew too tired and fell asleep anyway. Izzy and Alec said goodbye to Magnus and quietly left.

Magnus stayed with Alec, just in case. He sat down in the chair and closed his eyes, allowing himself to fall asleep as well.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been too long and I'm really sorry. This chapter isn't what you guys are going to like but remember, it's all building up to a happy ending eventually, I promise.
> 
> Regardless, it took me so long because I have a massive writer's block and I'm possibly working on a Coliver fic from How To Get Away With Murder, which took away my attention for a while. Sorry. I have the next few chapters written as well.
> 
> You have to give this chapter the benefit of the doubt! I know this isn't easy to read and it really sucks, but it's going to be answered in the next few chapters on what actually happened. So don't take the last bit of this chapter too literally and read the next chapter as well! Happy endings are on their way!
> 
> Happy reading as always, see you next chapter.

Alec stepped into the apartment that he had once shared, or that he really did still share, with Magnus. It felt different being here, as if he didn’t really belong here. Everything was still the same, nothing had changed. He felt grateful for that. It made it all feel familiar and welcoming. And yet, it had an unwelcoming edge to it.

He had tried to remember everything, but blank holes continued to be in his memories. Alec often wondered if he would ever remember everything again. Somehow, he doubted that. And that really hurt. He just wanted to go back to his old life. Back to who he really was.

“Welcome home,” Magnus said, closing the door behind him.

Alec forced a small smile at his husband. He sighed and looked around. There was an emptiness in his chest. One he knew stemmed from his missing memories, from his identity theft. And it was his own fault. He had messed with the course the Angels had set. Yet it felt so unfair. Alec had been nothing but a good Shadowhunter throughout his entire life. To be punished like this was outright cruel.

But then, Angels tended to be cruel.

“What’s wrong?” Magnus asked, placing a hand on Alec’s back. He could feel the tension there. Magnus knew that Alec worried about being a mundane for the rest of his life. But right now, there wasn’t anything they could do.

Besides, perhaps, summon an Angel. But Magnus wasn’t keen, even if he knew how to work the spell. Summoning an Angel was dangerous. Even more so if you wanted to request something. It was messing with higher powers that none of them had control over.

So, regardless of how unfair life was at the moment, Magnus tried to not think of that option. He had been desperate at the time when he had put together the spell. But now, rationally thinking, he knew it was a bad idea.

“Just tired,” Alec mumbled, which had become his go-to response for pretty much everything. He was always tired. And it wasn’t necessarily a lie. Physically he wasn’t tired. But mentally he was. There was a strain on his mind and it was exhausting him. It was exhausting him to be just a mundane. To not remember everything about his life. Exhausting to not be who you really were. Even if he knew that he may have to accept this reality. He wanted to fight against that, but he didn’t have the energy to do so really. Everything was too exhausting and all Alec really wanted to do was sleep time away until he was a Shadowhunter again.

“It’s going to be okay,” Magnus ensured him. “When I was no longer a warlock, a mortal, I felt destroyed. I felt like I didn’t know who I was. Like my identity was stripped away from me. But I got through it. Thanks to you. So we’ll get through it, together. I’m your husband and I’m not leaving your side.”

Alec looked at Magnus and nodded. He sat down on the couch. He remembered sleeping on the couch here. He had just know Magnus and Clary. 

He closed his eyes and tried not to think about it too much. He had to keep hope, that he was going to get through it. He had to, for Magnus. Alec wanted to spent the rest of his life with Magnus, and he didn’t want to spend that time being sad about his faith. Perhaps it was better this way. He had to believe that everything happened for a reason, including this. No matter how much that hurt.

Magnus went to the kitchen and pulled out his phone. He dialled Tessa’s number and waited.

“Hey Magnus,” Tessa answered, sounding cheerful.

“Hey,” Magnus said. “Did you find anything yet?” he asked carefully. He knew it was unlikely, since she hadn’t contacted him since he had seen her at the hospital three days ago.

“No,” Tessa said, mood turning sour then. “All I can find is that if the Angels won’t grant it, then there is nothing that you can do.”

Magnus was silent for a minute, considering that. So why did Alec remember most of it then? What was the Angels’ plan here? It made him feel uncertain, scared even, perhaps.

“What if I summon an Angel and ask them to change it back?” Magnus muses.

“Magnus…” Tessa sighed, sounding exasperated. “I know you want his memories back. I know he wants it to. But we both know that summoning an Angel is potentially lethal.”

“But what if it works?” Magnus asked. “It’s at least worth a try.”

“No such spell exists though,” Tessa said.

“There does now,” Magnus mumbled.

“And you are absolutely certain that it will work?” Tessa asked, curious but also afraid.

“It will,” Magnus said. “I have all the ingredients, too.”

“This is really dangerous,” Tessa said with a sigh. “You probably shouldn’t do this alone.”

“Likely not, no.” Magnus turned towards the living room. “But I have to try everything.”

“Well, if you are going to try, let me know,” Tessa said. “I have to go.”

“Bye.” Magnus disconnected the call and tucked it back into his pocket. He sighed. He knew how dangerous it could be, but he couldn’t watch his husband suffer. Not like this. He wanted a happy marriage. And he knew that Alec would try everything to make Magnus happy, to seem happy. But that wasn’t good enough for him. They needed to be both happy.

He returned to the living room to find Alec still seated on the couch. His husband was staring off into the distance.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, looking at him.

Alec blinked and looked up at Magnus. “Yeah?” he asked.

“Do you want something to eat?” Magnus asked.

Alec shook his head. He wasn’t feeling hungry. Hadn’t been hungry since he had woken up in the hospital. He knew he needed to eat, but he really didn’t feel like it. Eating was too much effort for him.

“Okay,” Magnus said and sat down next to him.

The silence between them was awkward, to say the least. Alec just stared off while Magnus tried to think of anything to engage Alec. But whenever he thought of something, he just looked at his husband and knew it wasn’t going to matter.

Alec sighed then. He looked down and folded his hands in his lap. “I’m sorry,” he said. “For being like this.”

“Don’t apologise,” Magnus said, shaking his head. “It’s fine. I get it.”

Alec shook his head, turning to Magnus. “It’s unfair to you. I should just… I should try to enjoy my life because at least, now, I’m here with you. And I’m afraid that I might lose that still.”

Magnus swallowed, feeling a lump forming in his throat. “You won’t. I promise.” 

Alec looked at Magnus briefly, before looking away. He leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes. “I know that I will,” he said. “I don’t know why the Angels are letting me remember this much, but the fact that they’re not letting me remember everything, tells me I’m going to lose you.” 

Magnus clenched his fists and stood up. He started pacing, feeling uncertain. He didn’t want to lose Alec again. He couldn’t. He would do everything to ensure that he could stay with Alec. That they could live their lives, happily married. 

“Then we summon the Angels,” Magnus offered. “Summon one and tell them to make this right.”

Alec opened his eyes and looked at Magnus in concern. “No,” he interjected. “It’s too dangerous.”

“We have to,” Magnus pleaded. “I can’t lose you, Alexander. There must be something that we can do. There must be.” It felt pathetic, but he was really desperate. And he wasn’t desperate often. Or at all, for that matter. He was an old, powerful and wise warlock. He didn’t get desperate. Except now.

Alec stood up and took Magnus’s hands. He looked at his husband, eyes filled with concern. “I don’t know,” he said. “They might retaliate. You’re not a Shadowhunter and I’m a mundane. If we summon one…” He didn’t even want to think of the consequences. The Angels could kill them in cold blood, just like that. Because they didn’t care.

“We have to try,” Magnus said, looking into Alec’s eyes. “We have to. Perhaps they’ll show mercy. They’ll have to.” He was determined to make this work. 

Alec nodded then, giving in. “Okay,” he said. “But we have to be careful. We’ll have to make preparations.”

“I’ve already prepared the spell and ingredients,” Magnus explained. “I wanted to summon the Angels earlier, but didn’t get the chance to.”

Alec frowned at that. To think that Magnus may have summoned the Angels, alone? He couldn’t fathom that. He shook his head. “Let’s just not think about it right now,” he said, wrapping his arms around his husband. “I just want to be with you.” He bent down slightly and captured Magnus’s lips in his.

Magnus’s eyes fluttered shut as he kissed Alec. He had missed this. Kissing Alec, holding him. He had missed all of it. And it was the reason why he would make it work. Why he would fix this. Because he didn’t want to miss out anymore.

They retreated to the bedroom.  
\-----  
Alec woke up later, feeling a stabbing pain in his chest. He knew what that meant, he was forgetting. Tears threatened to spill as that realisation set in, because he was already remembering less. He barely even remembered why he was here at all.

He looked towards Magnus, who was asleep so peacefully. He wondered whether to wake up the warlock or not. Decided against it. Instead, he wrote a quick note, grabbed his stuff and quietly left the loft that was so familiar to him, that was his home.

Once he had put some good distance between himself and the loft, he broke down. His knees hit the pavement beneath him as tears spilled, a wave of emotions falling over him. He didn’t understand why life was so unfair to him, why he was being punished. He physically felt his memories fade from his mind and before he knew it, he found himself feeling lost and uncertain of why he was crying in the first place.

Perhaps he was having one of those insane episodes he sometimes had. Perhaps he really was going insane and needed to be locked away into a mental facility.

Alec took a deep breath and got up. He headed for the place that he knew, his home. As he did, he looked around, taking in the city. New York was big. He felt a distaste for big cities. They were too complicated, there was too much noise around him. But he had no choice but to stay here, really. He didn’t know where else to go. Besides, he knew New York. In more ways than he could think of.

His phone rang and he fished it out of his pocket. He looked at the screen and was surprised to see it was Lisa. He sighed and answered the call, putting the phone to his ear.

“Hey Lisa,” he said.

“Alec,” she said. “Where are you?”

“I’m on my way home,” he explained.

“Can I come over?” she asked softly.

“Yes, of course.” 

“See you there.”

The call got disconnected. Alec sped up his pace.

Lisa was already waiting for him when he arrived. He greeted her, unlocked the door and opened it, letting her in. They sat down on the couch in the living room.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Lisa apologised.

“For what?” Alec looked at her, confused.

“For our fight.” Lisa looked up at him. “Don’t you remember?”

Alec shook his head. He didn’t really remember what happened at all in the past few days. It was an empty hole in his memories. “No,” he said and looked down.

Lisa turned to him, placing her hand on his cheek. “I like you, Alec,” she said, a red tint to her cheeks. “I like you, a lot, actually.” She closed her eyes, moved in and kissed him.

Alec’s eyes fluttered shut and he kissed her back, feeling her hands come to rest on his shoulders. His hands came to rest on her sides.

Lisa pulled back and looked at him briefly before initiating another kiss. Her hands glided down his chest, feeling the muscles underneath it. She found the hem of his shirt and pushed her hands underneath it.

Alec sucked in a breath, feeling her cold hands on his skin. He didn’t really know what to do though, as far as he could remember, he had never done this before.

“Lisa,” he mumbled against her lips, in between kisses.

Lisa froze, suddenly afraid she may have done something wrong. She pulled back, kept her hands in place, and looked at him. “What?” she asked.

“I’ve never…” Alec blushed now, looking down shyly. “I have never done this before.”

Lisa burst into a giggle. “You’re a virgin?” she asked.

Alec gulped. “I suppose,” he said, looking up at her in embarrassment. 

“Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome is a virgin.” Lisa couldn’t contain her chuckle. She smiled though. “Don’t worry,” she said. “Just try and relax.”

“Okay,” Alec said and leaned in to kiss her again.

Lisa moved her hands back up under his shirt, feeling his skin radiating warmth. She could feel every muscle, but also lines, like scars. It intrigued her, she wanted to see it.

“Take off your shirt,” Lisa said, pulling back. She tugged at the hem of his shirt.

Alec did, lifting it up over his head and tossing it aside. 

Lisa was on him immediately, inspecting and feeling every bit of hot skin. “You have scars all over your chest and arms, did you know that?” she asked.

Alec shook his head. “No, I didn’t.” He looked down at his arms and saw them now, white lines, barely visible, but there. In intricate patterns. They reminded him of the gold tattoo that he had on his side. He felt like they meant something, were supposed to be more visible.

Suddenly, he was distracted as Lisa’s lips connected to his chin, and then trailed down his throat in delicate kisses. Alec’s eyes fluttered shut, his hands resting at his sides.

Lisa took his hands and placed them on her breasts. “You can feel me up too,” she said in between butterfly kisses.

Alec swallowed and looked at her intensely. He gently felt her up, her chest and back and arms while watching her kiss him. This was new, something he wasn’t used to at all. It felt nice, but not entirely right.

Lisa popped the button on Alec’s jeans and looked at him. “Take them off,” she said, getting up.

Alec did, shoving his jeans down. He removed his shoes and socks and kicked his jeans aside. Then he looked up at Lisa in time to see her remove her shirt and jeans as well. He licked his lips and pulled her back down onto him. He kissed her, heated, fast.

“Mr. Lightwood,” Lisa murmured against his lips. 

“I like that,” Alec said. He gasped into her mouth as she placed her hand firmly on his clothed erection. She took that opportunity to lick into his mouth.

Lisa took Alec’s hand and put it on her lower belly. Alec took the hint and dipped his fingers into the waistband of her panties.

“Fuck,” Lisa gasped as she felt his fingers explore. She kissed him, pushing him down onto the couch.  
\-----  
Alec let Lisa shift in his arms. They had moved upstairs and showered together after they were done, and now she was asleep in his arms. He looked down at her and wondered if he had done right by this. Granted, it had felt good, but it had felt wrong somehow. Not that that could be changed now anyway.

He checked his phone and saw he had text message from an unknown number. He opened it and read it. The name, ‘Magnus’, rung a bell, but he couldn’t place it. Magnus seemed worried for him though, asking where he was. He decided to ignore it.

He put his phone away and closed his eyes, feeling exhausted but not being able to sleep. He sighed, wondering what was going to happen next. What to do with his life, considering he didn’t really like it that much. Perhaps he could change his major, or move away from here, start somewhere else. He didn’t know.

He eventually felt himself fall asleep though, exhaustion catching up to him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm decided to post this chapter as well. I get my readers being upset and angry. That's fine. Read this chapter. I promise, it's going to get better from here on out.

Magnus woke up to an empty feeling. He opened his eyes and turned onto his side to find that spot empty and cold. He frowned, sitting up and looking around the room. There was no sign of Alec anywhere.

“No,” he whispered to himself, pulling back the covers. He swung his legs out of bed and stood up. “No no no,” he repeated frantically as he pushed the door open and walked into the living room. But the apartment was empty. Alec wasn’t here. His stuff was gone as well.

Magnus shook his head. This couldn’t be happening. Whatever cruel game the Angels were playing, he would not give in to this. He snapped his fingers, dressing himself quickly. He grabbed his phone and texted Alec. This wasn’t good. This wasn’t okay. He was pacing around the living room, feeling a sense of panic overwhelm him. If Alec had forgotten again he wasn’t going to forgive himself. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He was supposed to be happy, with Alec by his side. Not constantly being torn apart. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take.

After waiting for minutes for a reply, he decided to leave his loft and search for Alec. He called Izzy first, who was rather grumpy on the phone. But Alec wasn’t at her place, or Maryse’s, or Jace’s, or the Institute. So there was one place left to check.

Magnus stood in front of Alec’s front door. The lights were out, so perhaps no one was home. He forced the door open with a quick wave of his hand and stepped inside. It became rather clear that someone was here, together with Alec. His heart sunk in his chest, feeling overwhelmed and upset.

He climbed the stairs, trying not to make a sound. He then came upon the door to Alec’s room. He opened it and peeked his head inside to find him asleep, with a girl in his arms.

Magnus wasn’t sure how long he stood there, frozen, eyes wide. The sense of hurt and betrayal was immense, even if, logically wise, he couldn’t really blame Alec for this. If Alec had forgotten again, that meant that Magnus wasn’t on his mind. But still. To find him in bed with another person, a girl even, well, that shit hurt to his core.

The girl stirred and opened her eyes. Only then did Magnus recognise her. It brought a bitter taste in his mouth.

“What the fuck,” she mumbled, sitting up as she saw Magnus. “What the fuck? Who are you?” She pulled the covers up to cover her body.

“Get out,” Magnus said through gritted teeth. “Get out, now. And don’t ever come back.”

Lisa frowned, concerned. She shook Alec, who groaned and opened his eyes.

Alec sat up and rubbed his eyes. “What’s wrong?” he said with a yawn. He looked towards the door, to where Lisa had pointed. Someone was standing there. Someone familiar to him.

“Magnus?” he asked, confused. “What… How do you manage to enter my house each and every time?” he asked.

Magnus ignored Alec. “Get out,” he growled, looking at Lisa. “Now.”

“Dude,” Alec said, waving his hand. “This is my house!”

Magnus turned to Alec. He opened his mouth, then shut, finding no words. He didn’t know what to say, Alec obviously didn’t remember him. He could feel the tears threaten to spill, but swallowed them down. His heart was racing in his chest. This couldn’t be true. This couldn’t be happening.

Alec grabbed a pair of sweats from the ground and quickly pulled it on before approaching Magnus. “What’s wrong with you? Do I need to call the police?”

Magnus took a deep breath and looked at Alec. “You are my husband,” he said calmly. “My husband. I know you don’t remember. I don’t care. You’re coming with me so I can fix this.”

Magnus felt guilty. This was his fault. He should have kept him at his apartment. Should have summoned an Angel. But he was determined to set that right.

“Husband?” Lisa came up beside Alec, blanket wrapped around her frame. “Alec? Is that true?”

Alec stared at Magnus. His gut told him that it was true. But his memories told him he didn’t know. He didn’t know who Magnus was. Magnus felt familiar to him, as if he knew Magnus much better than he himself knew. But that couldn’t be. He was so confused. He looked at Lisa. “I don’t know,” he said.

“Alec, please,” Magnus said. “I can fix this, you just have to let me help you.” He took Alec’s hand and showed the ring, then showed his own ring. “See? We’re married.”

Alec looked at the rings. They were wedding rings. They fitted each other. He shook his head. “I don’t…” He took a step back, putting his hands in his hair. This was all so confusing. “How can I not remember?”

“I’ll explain,” Magnus said, desperate to get Alec back with him. “Just come with me, please.”

“Alec, don’t do it,” Lisa said, looking at him with concerned eyes. “He’s lying. You don’t remember anything.”

Alec turned to Lisa and frowned. She had a weird glint in her eyes. He didn’t trust this. He turned back to his bed and the nightstand. He grabbed the stele from the nightstand and turned to Lisa. “Who are you?” he asked.

“Alec!” Lisa shrieked. “Put that down!”

“Who are you?” Alec repeated. “You’re not who you say you are, or what you are.”

Magnus suddenly turned to Lisa, observing her. She was breathing hard, seemed angry. But something was definitely off. This was no mundane indeed.

Lisa threw her head back and laughed then as her form started to change. The blanket dropped, her body turning grey and malformed.

Magnus shot a fireball at her, which she deflected easily. She waved her hand and both Magnus and Alec were forced against the nearest wall and kept there. Her transformation completed.

“You’re a demon,” Magnus growled, angry. How could he not have sensed it? He should have. How stupid could he be?

“Took you long enough,” the demon said, voice now low pitched and gravelly. It turned to Magnus and grinned. 

The demon was a greyish green, humpbacked with lumps everywhere. Two fat little legs and arms, a round head with two horns protruding. Two black beading eyes and a slit for a mouth. Though once it opened, it was filled with razor sharp pointed teeth. It looked absolutely disgusting.

“I’d thought you would have known much sooner. After all, you’ve been standing in that doorway for a while, just watching.” The demon laughed.

Alec was sick to his stomach. To think that he had had… He couldn’t even bring himself to think about it.

“Oh don’t be so dramatic,” the demon sighed, turning to Alec, as if it could read minds. “It was but an illusion. Nothing happened between us. It was in your head, just to play with you. Playing games with little mundanes is rather fun.” It reached its fat arm out and one of its three fingers touched Alec’s cheek. “Though the fact that you wanted to, or seemed to out of uncertainty, well, that is interesting, is it not? So you really don’t remember then? The Angels did a real good number on you.”

“Leave him be!” Magnus growled, trying to get himself free from this invisible force. He wasn’t sure what kind of demon this was, but it was powerful. Perhaps too much for him to handle.

The demon turned to Magnus swiftly and grinned, teeth bared. “What? You can’t take me on,” it said with a laugh. “Edom may be shut and destroyed but there are still many more realms of Hell full of demons. Though I suppose I’m a rare opportunity to meet.”

“What do you want?” Magnus asked, a little more calmer.

“Oh you know, chaos, death, the usual.” The demon seemed to shrug in its own way. “Alec here makes a tasty snack. But I won’t touch you, Magnus Bane. Your daddy wouldn’t be too happy.”

Magnus wanted to remark that his father was lost in limbo, but decided to keep his mouth shut about that. “My father will come for you and kill you,” he said instead. “Asmodeus won’t look kindly on this.”

“Oh, I’m sure Asmodeus won’t care if I eat this little mundane,” the demon mused happily, turning back to Alec. “As long as I don’t hurt you.”

“You’ll hurt me if you harm him,” Magnus growled, struggling against his invisible bonds.

“Dramatic.” The demon stuck out its tongue, which was a bright green and forked. Before it could have a taste of Alec though, it shrieked as something pierced its belly.

Jace threw another dagger, just as Izzy wrapped her whip around the demon’s round head. It shrieked and flailed, trying to get away. Clary stepped in, slicing at the demon.

Suddenly, they were blown to the sides. The demon whirled on them, angry and hissing. “You foolish Shadowhunters,” it hissed as it went for Clary.

Jace was the first to get up. He grabbed the seraph blade from his belt and jumped up, sinking the blade right into the demons back.

A high pitched shrieking had the demon turning in circles as it tried to get to Jace. 

Magnus regained himself and struck the demon with several fire balls. Its attention got turned to him, and he quickly ran downstairs.

Izzy caught the demon with her whip, restraining it around its legs. It fell downstairs. Jace took the blade and sunk it through his head.

Another high pitched shriek, then a hissing noise. The demon twitched about until it died, growing flat as blood oozed from its wounds.

“Disgusting,” Jace said, taking the blade from the demon. He wiped it on the stair railing before attaching it back to his belt.

“What was that?” Izzy asked as Clary came down beside her.

“I don’t know,” Magnus said, staring down at the dead demon. He frowned, bending down and examining it. “Not something I’ve seen before though. It said something about Edom being closed but there being many more realms out there full of them.”

“A new kind of demon?” Clary shook her head. “That can’t be good.”

“Maybe it was just shit talking,” Jace said with a shrug.

Magnus pushed past them all and ran back upstairs. He skidded to a stop in the doorway, looking at Alec.

Alec was holding one of the daggers Jace had thrown. He turned to Magnus. “What was that?” he asked.

“A demon,” Magnus explained.

“A demon,” Alec repeated. He frowned, looking back down at the dagger. “I dreamt about one recently. It looked similar to that one.” He looked back up to see Jace, Izzy and Clary also standing in the doorway. “Is it dead?”

“Yes,” Izzy said. “Are you okay?”

Alec shrugged, dropping the dagger. “I suppose,” he said. He looked at Magnus. “Whatever plan you have of getting my memories back, let’s do it.”

Magnus stuttered for a second, then nodded. “Okay,” he said, finding a spark of hope.

“What plan?” Clary asked, looking at Magnus.

“Uh…” Magnus scratched the back of his head, not entirely sure how to explain his plan to them. “I’ll fill you in. I need to work on it still,” he said.

Clary narrowed her eyes, suspicious. But the rest nodded. 

“Well, we’ll leave you be, then.” Izzy let her whip coil back around her arm into a bracelet. She looked at Alec and smiled at him. “Be careful,” she warned, before she turned and left. The rest followed after a brief goodbye, leaving Magnus and Alec alone.

Alec sat down on the bed, letting what just happened sink in. It didn’t seem all that strange to him. And he knew it should. Demons shouldn’t exist. Whatever just happened shouldn’t be possible. And yet it felt familiar. Felt real, felt as if he knew that. He knew demons. He knew the people that saved him. And he knew Magnus.

“Are you really okay?” Magnus asked, concerned. He hoovered over Alec, checking for any wounds.

Alec chuckled. “I’m fine,” he said, waving Magnus’s concern away. He looked up at Magnus. “Are you okay?”

Magnus nodded. “I’m fine,” he said and gave a small smile.

“I didn’t expect that to happen,” Alec said, looking back down at the stele. “It had felt so weird, Lisa being here. I remember now why she wouldn’t be here. We had had a fight, a few days ago. She confessed that she had liked me, on a romantic way. To which I told her I didn’t like her like that. She got really angry about that.”

“I see,” Magnus said. “Do you remember anything else?”

“Yes,” Alec said with a nod. “I went for a walk, got lost in this strange, abandoned part of the city. The outer skirts perhaps. Got kidnapped then. But everything is lost to me after that. I woke up wandering the streets. That seems to happen often.”

Magnus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. So Alec had forgotten. His heart clenched at that. But he was determined to fix this. He could and he would.

“It won’t happen anymore,” Magnus said. “I will fix this.”

Alec looked up at Magnus and smiled, getting up. “I know,” he said. He took a shirt from his drawer and pulled it on. “We should probably go to your place.”

“That’s a good idea,” Magnus said. He conjured up a portal and stepped through it together with Alec. He wondered how the demon could have gotten into Alec’s house, as it had been warded. But if it was indeed a new kind of demon, that meant he may have to start to adjust his wardings. Because that couldn’t happen again.

At least Alec was safe, for now. He shut the portal and sighed. The sun was rising, which meant he had only slept for a few hours. So had Alec. But Magnus needed to make the necessary preparations for the spell and call on Tessa. Perhaps Brother Zachariah as well.

“You should go and get some rest,” Magnus said, looking at Alec. 

Alec nodded. “Can I take a shower?” he asked, looking at Magnus.

Magnus smiled at him. “Of course.” He showed him the bathroom, the towels and where Alec’s clothes were. Once Alec was showering, Magnus conjured himself a cup of coffee as he set to preparing the spell. He sent a text to Tessa and Brother Zachariah, saying he would was going to perform the spell that night and that he could use their help. He knew Tessa would know what he meant. Brother Zachariah would likely guess it right as well.

He heard the shower turn off. A few minutes later, he heard footsteps approaching. Magnus turned around and looked at Alec, dressed in only boxer shorts. He soaked in the image. Alec was handsome, as always. Even with the missing runes.

“What’re you staring at?” Alec asked, chuckling. He sat down on the couch. “So, what are we going to do?”

“We’re going to summon an Angel,” Magnus explained, getting back to his writings and ingredients. This wasn’t going to be easy. This was likely going to be lethal. But he’d rather die trying to fix Alec’s memories then let him go and live his life as a mundane. He simply couldn’t accept that.

“Ah,” Alec said, as if that said a whole lot to him. It did give him an uneasy feeling, as if this could go wrong.

“Are there any dangers to it?” he asked.

Magnus sighed and looked up. “Well, it is highly likely we end up dead,” he said honestly. “Angels aren’t exactly the creatures of kindness they’re made out to be. They’re brutal and won’t be nice on being called upon. Especially by a Downworlder.” He shrugged. “But, it’s the only way that I can imagine for this to be fixed. There is nothing else.”

“Right.” Alec nodded, thinking about that. He wasn’t keen on dying, but perhaps he’d rather die than live as mundane, not knowing who he was. The past year had been tough, trying to figure himself out. So he really didn’t mind taking that risk. Because if all went well, he would have his memories back and he’d finally become who he was meant to be. And that was something he could look forward to easily.

“What do we need?” he asked.

“I already have all the ingredients,” Magnus mumbled as he was busy. “I’m waiting on Tessa and Brother Zachariah. I’m going to need their help. Other than that, try to get some rest. It’s going to be a tough day,” he said.

Alec stood up and walked over to Magnus. “You should get some rest then, as well.” He took Magnus’s hand and pulled him away from the table he was bent over. “Come on,” he said. “You need to hold me in case I wander off.”

“There are much more efficient ways to keep you here than just holding you,” Magnus chuckled lowly in Alec’s ear.

Alec grinned and crawled into bed. “I’m sure that if we get this right, we can explore all those options,” he said and curled up onto his side.

Magnus crawled into bed beside Alec and wrapped his arms around him. “I’m sure we will,” he said. He must admit that he was feeling rather tired. And he knew he needed his energy as well. So perhaps this was indeed a good idea. He closed his eyes and relaxed, letting himself fall into sleep.

Alec smiled, feeling Magnus fall asleep. He closed his eyes as well and thought about this night’s event. He was sure that if he was an actual normal human, he would be freaked out right now. But he wasn’t. He was destined for more, and more than grateful to be in the arms of his husband. Even if he didn’t remember anything from his life with Magnus.

He would soon and he couldn’t wait for his life to start soon. Couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with his husband and his family.

He deserved that much after all the shit that he had been through the past year. He deserved to be happy.

Slowly, Alec drifted off into sleep. He would need all the rest he could get as well.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm a roll aye! Let me know what you think!

Alec slowly opened his eyes. He felt a pair of warm arms around him, holding him snugly against a body. He chuckled and gently turned onto his other side so he could admire the man that was supposed to be his husband. He had been dreaming again, and although it was fading quickly now, he was certain that it had been a memory. It had felt good, he had felt happy for the first time in quite a while. He had dreamt of kissing Magnus, who was asleep in front of him.

He felt surprisingly safe in this man’s arms. But then, he’d always felt safe with Magnus’s presence. He supposed it was something instinctual. After all, they were married, it seemed. Alec was certain he wouldn’t marry someone unless he actually really loved that person. So Magnus must be rather special. Which was nice to know for his future. He was certain that he was in safe, capable hands.

Magnus looked exhausted. Dark circles were evident under his eyes. He likely hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep either. Alec realised that the year hadn’t been easy for the warlock either. Just like it hadn’t been easy for him. They had gone through so much the past year, and that’s excluding what they already had been through before he lost his memories.

He really couldn’t wait to remember it all again and start his life. And he was certain Magnus couldn’t wait either.

Though there was one obstacle currently keeping them from achieving their goal: summoning an Angel. And potentially being killed.

It was a dangerous business. But Alec didn’t care. He was determined to finally remember. He just had to. To continue his life living as a mundane wasn’t a future he was very keen on. It was rather unacceptable to him.

“I can feel you staring,” Magnus mumbled, making no move to open his eyes. He hadn’t slept a lot, drifted off here and there, but each time he woke up to make sure that Alec was still there. 

Alec chuckled. “Can you, now?” He shifted in closer, his body soaking in the warmth that Magnus’s body radiated.

“Mhm,” Magnus tightened his hold on Alec, not wanting to let him go. He was afraid that if he opened his eyes, Alec wasn’t going to be there. That he was dreaming at the moment. He didn’t want to lose Alec again. Never again.

“You’re crushing me,” Alec whispered, feeling Magnus’s hold weaken on him. He smiled and slowly sat up, wiping a hand through his messy hair. 

“Don’t leave,” Magnus said, cracking an eye open to take a good look at the beauty in his bed. Even without his runes, Alec was a stunning beauty. A rare appearance. Magnus had lived long enough to see many gorgeous people, including Shadowhunters. But Alec had effectively wiped that all from his mind.

Alec looked down at Magnus and gave a gentle smile. “I’m not leaving,” he said. “Not ever.” And that was a promise he intended to keep. He didn’t want to leave Magnus’s side ever again. To have been apart for so long must have been torture for Magnus.

Their peaceful talk was interrupted by Magnus’s doorbell being rung. Magnus groaned, slowly forcing himself to sit up. He stretched out and yawned, not in any haste to get out of bed.

“I’ll go,” Alec said, moving his legs out of bed. He stood up and left the bedroom to open the door. He opened it and looked at the woman standing there. She was dressed in blue jeans, simple sneakers and an overflowing, too big on her t-shirt. She was pretty to say the least. Seemed familiar, as if he had seen her before not too long ago.

His eyes then fell on the man that stood beside her. He seemed familiar too. He had dark hair and was wearing a cloak, covering his face in shadows. Alec could make out the runes on his face though.

He stepped aside, letting the two of them in before he closed the door behind them.

“Where is Magnus?” the woman asked.

“Right here,” Magnus said, appearing from the bedroom. He smiled lazily at Tessa and Brother Zachariah. “Welcome.” He stretched out with a yawn. “Coffee?”

“This plan is ridiculous,” Brother Zachariah said, forgetting about niceties. “This is going to get you killed.”

Magnus shrugged. “It might.” He summoned himself a cup of coffee and took a sip, letting the caffeine wake up his tired brain. He was going to need all the energy he could get to get this done. “Or, we might succeed and Alec might finally remember again so we can start our life together.”

Brother Zachariah shook his head. “Do you want to die? Is that it?” The words came out harsh, an accusation. It wasn’t necessarily meant like that. Brother Zachariah was simply worried about his friend.

“Don’t be like that,” Tessa interjected, giving Brother Zachariah a gentle shove. “We both know what it’s like to lose someone that’s the world to us. Or have you forgotten?”

Brother Zachariah paled. Of course he remembered. Will had been his parabatai, his best friend, his entire world. Even when Tessa came along. It hadn’t been an easy time back then. He had been dying. He was supposed to marry Tessa. Will was also fighting for her hand. And they were facing an enemy stronger than any of them could handle. And then he lost all of that, when he was on the verge of death and decided to become a Silent Brother, though not necessarily in the traditional way, as his body had been too weak for the entire transformation.

“That’s cruel,” he mumbled, but nodded. He crossed his arms over his chest. “I do hope you’re not planning on executing this summoning here? Your apartment would burn down, as well as the entire block around it.”

“Yeah yeah.” Magnus took another sip, waving a dismissive hand in the air. “I’ve already picked a perfect spot, don’t you worry.” Of course he had already picked out another spot, outside the city. It was quite abandoned, an open clearing in a forest outside the city. It would be perfect for summoning an Angel, as it wouldn’t cause too much damage to the surroundings.

“Right then,” Tessa said, clapping her hands together. “We should go over the plan and set it in motion then.” She sounded almost cheerful, excited.

“Agreed,” Magnus said, raising his cup in an affirmative gesture.

Brother Zachariah sighed, but nodded anyway.

Alec watched, in great fascination, as the three of them set to discussing the matter at hand. Summoning an Angel was no joke. A Downworlder summoning an Angel was rather lethal. Though that was the least of their concern. The spot Magnus had chosen needed to be warded against all possible enemies they could think of, including fellow Downworlders and Shadowhunters. Because if Shadowhunters caught wind of this plan, they would be shut down. It would be a disgrace to them.

Which left Magnus wondering if he should tell Izzy, Jace and Clary about this plan. On one hand, he had promised to. On another, he was certain they would stop him. And Magnus wasn’t in the mood to fight them over this. He had made up his mind and so had Alec. They were going to do this, as it was their last resort to getting Alec’s memories back. Yet, it was important to let them know. After all, they might die. And Magnus felt like it may be important to have them say goodbye for a moment, just in case.

But that sounded too dramatic, perhaps. After all, Magnus had a feeling that this might just work, that he was going to pull this off. Even if it was going to be difficult. That was okay. Magnus trusted in his plan.

As the three of them were discussing, arguing and preparing, Alec busied himself with studying the photos that were placed across the loft. Photos of him and Magnus. Photos of him with the runes that he was supposed to have. A shiver ran down his spine. If this was going to work, it was going to bring back all those black marks. And they belonged on his skin, he knew that much. It almost felt unnatural to look down at his own skin and not see the black runes there. It made him feel empty in a way.

One photo caught him off guard. He was standing on the isle, holding Magnus’s hands. He smiled, so that must have been during his wedding. He was eager to remember it all again.

“Alec?” Magnus called.

Alec blinked and turned around, being pulled from his thoughts as Magnus called for him. He walked over to the three of them. “Yeah?” he asked.

“Do you want me to inform your sister?” Magnus asked. It was a loaded question, there was hesitation in there.

Alec thought about that. It was likely better, in case everything went wrong. But he was afraid that they might stop him. He didn’t know why, but that was the feeling he had. “Let’s inform them last minute,” he said. It brought along a guilty feeling, but it was better that way. Whatever was going to happen tonight was going to happen, whether his sister wanted it or not. He wouldn’t be stopped, that much was for certain.

Magnus nodded. “Sit down,” he said, looking at Alec. “I’ll explain what’s going down tonight.”

Alec did. “So, how will this work?” he asked. It sounded like a stupid question, but all that he had was his mundane logic. So it might be a stupid question if he had been a Shadowhunter with all his memories. He wasn’t, and he was genuinely curious about what was going to happen. He knew there were great risks involved in this.

“There are no reliable summoning rituals to summon an Angel,” Tessa explained. “I once managed to transform into one, a long time ago. The Shadowhunters could summon the Angel Raziel through the Mortal Instruments, but other than that, no one really knows how to summon Angels.”

“They don’t like being on Earth,” Brother Zachariah added. “Lore tells us that Angels are divine warriors, tasked with protecting human kind. In truth, they’re assholes, really. They don’t care about mundanes or Shadowhunters, for that matter. They care about themselves and they won’t hesitate to kill you. So them being summoned sets their temper high. And they especially don’t like having demands thrown at them.”

Alec thought about that. It seemed that their odds of summoning an Angel was small, and even if they managed, that the chance they might die was big. He frowned. “So, how did you figure out a ritual that worked, then?”

“I acquired an Angel’s feather a long time ago,” Magnus said. “My father gave it to me. Having an Angel’s feather was supposed to be a token of good luck. I have always wondered how he got that feather. I now believe that he might have summoned one and took the feather from the Angel.” Magnus sighed. It was at the time that he spent a lot of time with his father. He knew Asmodeus was a cruel man, so he didn’t disclose the fact that Asmodeus might have killed an Angel, or tortured it. Much like Valentine had.

“Anyway, we’ll use it to call upon the Angels. Though we need Nephilim blood. You might be a mundane, Alexander, but you still have Nephilim blood running through your veins.” Magnus gave an uncertain smile. “There is a chance this may not work, there is a chance we may be killed upon making contact. So I’m asking you. Do you really want to do this?”

Alec looked from Magnus to Tessa, to Brother Zachariah and back to Magnus. He had to admit that he was afraid. But the only other option was living as a mundane. He wasn’t keen on that either. Sometimes, it was worth it to take a risk.

“Yes,” he said, confidently. “I want to do this.”

Magnus smiled at that. “Then we will,” he said. He looked towards Tessa and Brother Zachariah. “If you want to go, that’s okay. I would never ask you to do something as dangerous as this.”

“Well, we’re already this involved, aren’t we,” Brother Zachariah said with a shrug. “I’m going to be punished for this but that’s okay.”

Tessa chuckled. “Let’s do this. You both deserve to be happy.”

Magnus smiled at his friends, grateful for their support. It was a real shame that Ragnor wasn’t here to witness this event. Ragnor wouldn’t have joined in, at first. No, he would have come crashing in at last minute to help him, even after stating that this was a death mission. Which it was. Their chances of surviving were small, but worth it to Magnus if it meant he could have his husband back. That was all that he wanted.

The warlock got up and stretched. “Right,” he said, offering a hand to Alec, who took it. Magnus guided Alec to the bedroom where he shut the door.

“We should wear something nice, because if it’s going to work, we’re going out for dinner immediately after,” Magnus said, looking at Alec.

Alec nodded. “Agreed.”

“And it’s nicer to die in fancy clothing than to die in a poor man’s clothing.” Magnus took in Alec’s appearance before he snapped his fingers. Alec’s clothes disappeared, making place for a nice, black suit. Fancy and sleek, elegant but nothing too fussy. Perfectly adjusted to Alec’s style.

Then Magnus looked at himself for a second before he snapped his fingers. His clothing disappeared as well, making place for black dress pants, white blouse and crimson jacket with black lining. He smiled down at himself, knowing he looked stunning.

“I really like this,” Alec said, looking down at himself, and then looking at Magnus. 

Magnus chuckled at Alec. “I know you do,” he said. He pulled the man in by his waist and looked at him. “Whatever happens tonight, Alexander, know that I love you always.”

Alec gulped, feeling a lump forming in his throat. Perhaps reality was setting in that he could die. That that chance was rather big. Bigger than their chance of survival. But he wasn’t scared. No, he refused to be scared. So he smiled and leaned in, capturing Magnus’s lips in a soft kiss. “I love you too,” he said.

Magnus took Alec’s hand as he opened the door. They both stepped back out into Magnus’s loft, looking finely dressed.

“Damn,” Brother Zachariah said. 

Tessa giggled. “You two look nice,” she said and smiled kindly at them. “I never got to be at your wedding, but I must have missed something stunning.”

Magnus smiled at her. “Well, perhaps we’ll do it all over again after this is over. Do it proper, have a proper honey moon and all.” He looked at Alec, who had a slight blush covering his cheeks. “What do you think?”

Alec thought about that. Get remarried to this man sounded like an opportunity that he needed to grasp with both hands. He didn’t remember his own wedding at all, but he wanted to do it all over again. Do it better. Not disappear and forget all about it at the end.

“Yeah, let’s do that,” Alec agreed.

“But not at the Institute,” Magnus quickly said. “We did that once. No, we’ll marry somewhere else. Somewhere amazing, perhaps somewhere exotic. With a small party.”

Alec smiled. “Whatever you want,” he said. He was sure that Magnus would be fine planning it all. And he was sure that it would be great no matter what. So he smiled, having something to look forward to.

Which, for now, pushed away the fear that he might actually die tonight, as a mundane, not as himself. Which would be a total waste. But whatever was going to happen tonight, he found comfort in the fact that he had Magnus by his side. That was all that mattered to him at the moment, having the warlock with him. They were meant to be together and nothing was going to keep them apart, not even cruel Angels trying to mess with them. They would always find their way back to each other.

Magnus took a deep breath. Now that everything was gathered and they were ready to depart, he felt an anxiety rise up in his chest. “Alright then,” he said, moving his hands to create a portal. “Let’s go.”

Tessa went through first, followed by Brother Zachariah. 

Magnus turned to Alec one last time. “You ready?” he asked, more to keep his own nerves at bay. He hadn’t been this anxious in a while, as it was survival or death tonight. It wasn’t going to be pretty. It wasn’t going to be easy. But even with the fear terrorising his mind at the moment, he was determined to see this through. Determined to get his husband to remember all of it. Determined to start the rest of his life with Alec by his side. Because that is what he had been fighting for the past year. And he would do it all over again if he had to.

Alec squeezed Magnus’s hand gently and nodded. He looked towards the portal with determination in his eyes. Whatever happened tonight, it was going to be okay. He had to believe in that. For himself. For his husband. For his family. He was going to be his old self after this and remember his life as he had lived it. No more mundane living. Back to being his Shadowhunter self, as he was meant to be. And even though there was a fear there, a fear of dying, as long as he had Magnus there with him, he was going to be fine. He just knew it.

So the pair stepped through the portal together, hands locked, towards their uncertain future.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have no fear, another chapter is here!
> 
> I quite like this chapter, if I am honest. Probably one of my better-written chapters. But let me know what you think!
> 
> PS: don't be scared at the end. ;)

Alec steadied himself against Magnus the moment he came through the portal. As a mundane, traveling through portals was rather wicked in a way. He was certain that he was used to the feeling as a Shadowhunter. But not as a mundane.

He closed his eyes and let the wave of dizziness and nausea slowly fade away. It took a minute or so before he was steady enough to stand on his own. He wondered, if this failed and he died, or stayed a mundane, if he’d ever get used to this feeling.

Opening his eyes, Alec took a look at his surroundings. This place was different. There were in a clearing, surrounded by tall trees. Little white flowers bloomed within the tall grass. Alec took a deep breath as he turned around, taking in the trees, the grass, the flowers, the leaves. It seemed rather peaceful here. Perhaps a little too peaceful for what was about to go down.

Then his eyes caught movement. He turned again and saw Tessa and Brother Zachariah moving about the clearing. He was curious about what they were doing. 

“They’re warding the clearing,” Magnus explained, seeing Alec’s curious look towards the two.

“Oh,” Alec said, “of course.”

He continued watching them and noted that they seemed really close. Perhaps Magnus had once told him about them, but now, as he couldn’t remember, he wondered what history was between them. Or how Magnus knew them at all. They were an interesting match as they worked together.

He shrugged it off and looked towards Magnus. “So, what now?”

Magnus looked at Alec and grinned. “Now we put it all to use,” he said, rubbing his hands together. They sparked blue.

He might be looking bold and certain, his heart was hammering in his chest. He was rather nervous, after all. He hadn’t really been faced with the certainty of death in his immortal life. And he knew that that might happen tonight. It got him anxious a little. But that didn’t matter. All that mattered was doing this.

“Is there anything I can do?” Alec asked.

Magnus looked at Alec. “Yeah, you should call Izzy,” he said, taking his own phone from the pocket of his pants. He unlocked it and dialled Izzy’s number, then handed Alec the phone. 

Alec wandered off a little to the edge of the clearing. He turned his back on the other three and leaned against the tree as the phone rang.

“Hello Magnus,” Izzy answered the call.

Alec cleared his throat. “It’s Alec, actually,” he said, sounding a little nervous.

“Oh,” Izzy mumbled. “Hi Alec. How are you doing?”

Alec smiled a little. “I’m doing good, you?” he asked.

“Same here. Why are you calling from Magnus’s phone?”

Alec looked over his shoulder briefly, seeing Magnus, Tessa and Brother Zachariah busy with themselves. He looked away. “I didn’t have your number.”

“Right,” Izzy said, as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. “Well, I’m glad you’re calling anyway.”

Alec smiled. Even though he didn’t really know her, her voice sounded familiar, as if he had heard it a thousand times before. Which was likely the truth, considering he was her sister. It was good to talk to her. It eased his nerves a bit. 

“Yes,” he said. “I just wanted to tell you that, even though I don’t remember anything, I’m glad to have you as my sister.”

Izzy chuckled. “Are you okay? You sound as if you’re about to die.”

Alec was silent at that. He didn’t really know what to say to that, considering that he might. 

“Alec?” Izzy said, sounding on edge now. “Are you there?”

“Yeah,” Alec replied quickly. “Yeah, I am, sorry.”

“What is happening? Where is Magnus?” Izzy asked, having a bad feeling all of a sudden.

“He’s here with me,” Alec responded. “I need to go. I just… Thank you for everything,” he said and clicked off. His hands were shaking, a shiver rolled down his spine. The phone rang again, Izzy’s number popping up. He decided to decline the call and turned around.

“Are you okay?” Magnus asked, looking concerned. He took the phone from Alec’s trembling hands.

Alec nodded, leaning his back against the bark of the tree. “Yeah,” he said. “A little nervous, maybe.”

Magnus smiled kindly. “This is going to work,” he said confidently. “I know things are uncertain and terrifying at the moment. But I promise you. It’s going to work.”

Alec wondered how Magnus could be this confident, considering all that he had heard. Perhaps if he had been his old self he would also be confident, but as a mundane, it was scared shitless. Yet he trusted in Magnus. 

“I know,” he said and forced a little smile.

Magnus took Alec’s hands and pulled him into a hug. “I am scared too,” the warlock admitted. “But I have to trust in this, because I want you back as yourself. And I will do everything I can to get you back.”

Alec buried his nose in the crook of Magnus’s neck and closed his eyes. “I know,” he said. “I trust you.”

“Good,” Magnus murmured, letting go and looking into Alec’s eyes. “That’s all you need to do, okay? Let me handle the rest.”

Alec nodded.

“Are you two lovebirds done?” Tessa called, sounding cheerful.

Magnus rolled his eyes and tugged Alec gently along. They returned to the middle of the clearing where everything had been set up.

The clearing had an entirely different taste to it now. The sun was slowly setting, casting a golden light amongst the trees into the open field they stood in. Alec wondered if this was going to be his last sunset. At least this was a gorgeous place to die if he did. Better than the city. He felt peaceful here, as if he would be taken care of by nature if something were to happen. It was a haunting feeling, something he wasn’t sure if he liked or not. But it was there nonetheless.

“Right then,” Magnus said, nodding towards Brother Zachariah and Tessa. “Let’s do this.”

Tessa picked up the Angel feather and a dagger. It looked sharp, like it would cut through tough material easily.

Alec fidgeted as Tessa approached. Obviously he had been briefed just a little while ago about what was to happen. But seeing the dagger made him anxious. As a mundane he’d cut himself regularly and it hadn’t been pleasant. 

Tessa smiled gently, taking Alec’s hand. “This will hurt,” she said softly, before pressing the tip of the dagger to the palm of his hand.

Alec hissed as she swiftly cut through the skin. Tessa pressed the feather to the cut, letting it soak in the blood. She folded Alec’s fingers around it. “Hold it,” she said, stepping back and taking the dagger with it. He looked down at the cut and the large feather, watching it turn red in his hand. It was fascinating on one hand, but the cut burned. He gritted his teeth.

He raised his head as he heard chanting. Alec turned his head in Magnus’s direction, who had his head bowed over a book. He was reading words that Alec didn’t understand. A foreign language, an old one. He saw Tessa put the dagger down and chant with him, their voices joined in harmony. It sounded almost like a song.

Then light glowed up from below. Alec looked down as an intricate pattern lit up from beneath him. It covered the entire clearing, giving it an eery kind of glow. His heart started hammering in his chest as he anxiously gripped the feather. The cut was still bleeding, and drops were dripping down onto the ground. It made him feel lightheaded a little, but he stood his ground.

“Stop!” Sounded in the distance.

Alec whirled around to see Izzy, Clary and Jace skidding to a stop at the edge of the clearing. Their faces were red, eyes wide and full of worry.

“Magnus!” Jace yelled, slamming a fist towards the clearing. It hit something and he stumbled back, frowning. It seemed as if there was some invisible forcefield surrounding Alec, Magnus, Tessa and Brother Zachariah. “Stop! What are you doing?!”

Magnus and Tessa ignored them and continued their chants. Alec could see a clear frown edged into Magnus’s face though. Perhaps he was trying to drown out the yelling from the other three. Alec wondered how they had even found them. 

Brother Zachariah moved quietly towards the three intruders. Alec watched carefully as the three of them took a step back, their faces growing pale. He frowned, wondering what Brother Zachariah was telling them.

“Stop!” Izzy yelled, sounding desperate. “Magnus, this won’t work! Please!”

“You’re going to get yourselves killed!” Jace yelled, sounding frustrated. “Magnus, please! I know you want him to remember! We all do! But this is not the way to do it!”

Suddenly, their voices were cut off. Alec looked at them as they became quiet. Their mouths were moving, but they weren’t making a sound. He wondered what had just happened, if Magnus had cast a spell over them.

And then a burning pain shot through the palm of his hand. He cried out, knees hitting the ground below. The white, bright light turned a dark red, the colour of blood. He wanted to call on Magnus, ask him what was happening, but he couldn’t. He seemed frozen to the ground, eyes cast to the now bloodred, drenched feather.

And then the ground in front of him exploded. Or, that was what it seemed light. A blinding light appeared. Alec had to close his eyes as it hurt to watch. He wondered if this was supposed to happen. He wasn’t sure.

Then, a voice boomed through the clearing, loud and clear and furious.

“Who dares to call upon an Angel?” the voice called out. “Who dares to call upon one in such a disrespectful manner?”

There was a silence. Alec cracked open an eye, but the light was disturbing his vision. He saw something move in the corner though.

“I dare,” Magnus called, coming to stand in front of the light. “I dare, with a request.”

The Angel laughed, clearly amused. “A Downworlder? With a request? Are you feeling special?” The Angel talked calmer now, no longer so loud, but rather normal. 

Alec opened his eyes and looked at Magnus’s back as he was blocking the light. He was nothing but a dark figure in front of him. And he seemed absolutely tiny compared to the giant light that was the Angel.

“I need you to give back to Alec what the Angels stole, his memories,” Magnus put in the request, seemingly unfazed by the calm, amused tone the Angel had spoken in. “Alexander has done nothing wrong in his life and never deserved this faith.”

The Angel laughed. “Does he not?” the Angel asked. “You pathetic little creatures think you’re so important. What do you care, warlock? You, who can live a thousand years and a thousand more, care this much about one little Shadowhunter?”

Magnus was quiet for a minute. He considered what to say to that, but he wasn’t entirely sure. He had contemplated the fact that the Angel might mock him for caring about a mortal being. Yet he hadn’t thought a lot about it really. So being faced with that right now made him think twice of what he wanted to say next, just in case the Angel wanted to smite him and the others.

“I do,” Magnus said, clear and confident. “Alexander is the love of my life, and losing him, on my wedding day, was a torturous experience. One I never want to experience again. I would give up my immortality just to live out my life with him. Because I love him.”

There was a disturbing silence on the Angel’s part now. Alec wondered why. After all, all that he knew about Angels were that they were assholes without any feelings.

“So, you would become mortal, just for him?” The Angel said, sounding an ounce of confused.

“Yes,” Magnus said. “If that is required for him to remember, for us to live out our lives, happily married, I will.”

Alec wanted to interject. He had a feeling that he had seen Magnus mortal before and that it hadn’t been good. But he couldn’t speak. It was as if his body refused to cooperate. He couldn’t get up, move, speak. He could only look and listen, powerless to do anything. It was frustrating. He didn’t like being powerless at all.

“Mhm,” the Angel murmured. 

The silence continued to last, which was unnerving. Alec had expected himself to be dead by now, but the fact that he hadn’t died yet was confusing. So he just sat there, holding the red feather in his hand and wondering what was about to happen next.

“I need time to discuss this,” the Angel said, emotionless.

“No,” Magnus cut in. “You will reverse the damage right now,” he said.

The Angel chuckled. “You have no clue who you are dealing with, Magnus Bane,” he said. “I am an Angel. I am far more powerful than anything you have ever encountered before. Even your father, Asmodeus, is an ant compared to me.”

The light brightened and Alec reflexively closed his eyes. He could feel the blood rushing through his ears, his heart hammering in his chest. He was definitely afraid now. It seemed as if the Angel didn’t care about them. At all.

“I will keep you down on this Earth,” Magnus said. “Keep you down into this realm until you’ve fixed the mistake the Angels made.”

“You can’t do that,” the Angel said, voice rising in tone and temper. “The other Angels will come for you and smite you all.”

“I’ll take that risk,” Magnus said simply.

Alec admired Magnus’s fierceness. The warlock didn’t sound scared at all, even though he had admitted that he was. Alec could definitely admire the strength it took to pull this off. Yet he was afraid of the consequences, of how this would turn out. Afraid that it might all go wrong, even if it hadn’t yet so far.

And then, something else happened. Alec felt as if he was being stared at, so he opened his eyes to find a figure kneeling in front of him. A figure full of bright light, big yet small. 

“Where did you get this?” it said, and Alec realised that it was the Angel.

Alec opened his mouth to speak, but found himself unable to. The Angel was clearly intrigued by the feather he was holding.

“My father gave it to me,” Magnus explained, hovering nearby. He was fidgeting, clearly nervous. Having the Angelic being so close to Alec made him anxious, considering the power that the Angel held. And considering the Angel’s ever changing temper.

“And where did your father get it from, Magnus Bane?” the being rose, and grew again in size and brightness.

Alec cast his eyes down to avoid the light as much as he could.

“I don’t know,” Magnus said, unnerved. “You can have it.”

“Oh, I certainly can,” the Angel said. “And I will certainly take it back with me. But you know how he got it. Do I need to refresh your memory, warlock?”

Magnus gulped, the conversation taking a turn he hadn’t calculated in. “My father tortured an Angel, cut it off,” he admitted.

“And where were you when that happened?” the Angel asked, calmly.

“I was with him.” The confession hurt. Magnus averted his gaze and tried not to bring back those memories. The memories he had of spending time with his father were memories he’d rather forget. He had had them locked away in his mind to keep them from bothering him. But now, as he thought about it, they pushed against the imaginary vault, trying to break free and force him to remember all the horrible things he had done in his life. All the horrible things he had done while under the influence and care of Asmodeus.

The Angel laughed loudly, before its size shrunk and it knelt back in front of Alec. “What about you, little Shadowhunter? Do you want your memories back that badly? Would you let the warlock trade in his immortality for it?”

Alec swallowed hard, now looking at the bright figure. He couldn’t make out a face or chest. It was just a white shape that seemed to kneel. And it was now asking him a question to which he didn’t know the answer. Yes, he wanted his memories back. But would he really let Magnus trade in his immortality for it? That was a loaded question he would rather not answer at all.

“I want my memories back,” Alec said at last. “And if Magnus is willing to pay that price, then I suppose I will be too. As a mutual decision.”

The Angel seemed amused, a chuckle resonating from it. It moved away, grew in brightness and turned back to Magnus. “You’re rather a pathetic lot.” Then it turned to Brother Zachariah and Tessa.

“What about you two?” it asked. “Why are you here? A Silent Brother and an unholy mixture of Shadowhunter and warlock here messing with me?”

“We were asked to help,” Tessa explained. “Could have said no. But Alec was treated unfairly, and so was my friend, Magnus Bane. So I decided to help.”

The Angel grinned, then turned to Brother Zachariah. “You?”

Brother Zachariah simply shrugged. “Same, I suppose.”

The Angel didn’t seem pleased with the nonchalant response. It turned back to Magnus. “What about their lives? Are you willing to risk them too?”

Magnus paled and looked towards Brother Zachariah and Tessa. His first response was no, because they didn’t deserve to die for his demands. But as he searched their eyes, he saw that they were willing to give their lives for him, for Alec’s memories. Magnus could feel the tears burn in his eyes, but he refused to let them shed.

“That is their decision,” he whispered.

The Angel laughed once more, amused. “Pathetic lot you are.” 

Alec closed his eyes and waited. Silence reigned over them, over the clearing. He opened his eyes to check that he wasn’t dead, and he wasn’t. He looked around and saw that Magnus was on the ground, eyes closed. Tessa and Brother Zachariah were as well.

Then suddenly, the figure was in front of him. He blinked and looked at the Angel as it took the drenched feather from his hand.

“You’re brave,” the Angel remarked. “Brave indeed. I have seen that you have tried very hard to remember, even when you lost it all again. I have seen that you have battled a demon and got out alive with the help of your friends. That is very brave of you.”

“Thank you,” Alec said, not knowing what else to say. Having the Angel so near was rather terrifying, especially knowing that Magnus, Brother Zachariah and Tessa were on the ground, seemingly unconscious.

“Do not worry,” the Angel spoke. “I have not harmed your friends.” It took Alec’s head and engulfed it in a Heavenly glow. “You will remember everything when you wake up, including this. There will be no cost to you, or Magnus, or your other friends. They will wake up as well, together with you.”

Alec felt like he could cry right there and then. But instead, he felt drowsy, his eyelids heavy.

“Sleep now,” the Angel spoke. “Sleep, and remember all of it.”

Alec let his eyes fall shut. He could feel himself being moved so he was laid out on the ground below. The last of his consciousness waned as the bright light faded away. And then, there was darkness.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A happy, satisfactory (to me?) ending. 
> 
> Now to think of anything new to write. Because I literally am all out of prompts so if you guys have anything, let me know!

Izzy watched with wide eyes as bright light exploded within the clearing. It formed into an unnoticeable figure, taller than the trees and it had a booming voice. She had never seen an Angel before, only Clary had, so seeing one now was unbelievable.

However, she did not forget that Alec, and the others, were in dangers. All that she knew was that Angels weren’t kind. And she didn’t want her brother to die, or Magnus, for that matter. But something, warding probably, was holding them back. She couldn’t step any further than the very edge of the clearing she was standing at. 

When Alec had called her and sounded nervous, she knew something had been up. So she had traced Magnus’s phone to this location, which was harder to find than expected. She had called Jace and Clary and they had come with her. She was grateful for that.

But they had been too late. The Angel was summoned and talking to them, though she couldn’t really make out what they were saying. She was left to watch hopelessly. 

And then Brother Zachariah fell to the ground. Izzy blinked and took a step back, staring at the Silent Brother down on the ground. He seemed to change, grow younger, hair becoming completely white. She looked up to see that Magnus and Tessa were down on the ground as well. Izzy wondered what exactly was happening. It didn’t seem that good to her.

There was a brief conversation between Alec and the Angel, Izzy could see that. Then Alec was laid down, seemingly asleep. She tried to see if his chest was rising and falling still, but it was too difficult.

“Alec…” Izzy could feel the tears streaming down her face. She would never forgive herself if he was dead.

Then the bright light, the Angel, moved towards them. It shrunk to their size and stood there for a few minutes, before the light went out and darkness came over them.

“What just happened?” Jace asked, uncertain. He reached a hand out to see if the warding was still up, but it seemed gone. He raced towards Alec and fell to his knees beside his parabatai. 

“Alec?” he asked.

Izzy and Clary joined them, getting down on their knees as well. Izzy took Alec’s hand in her own. It felt warm still, and she could feel a heartbeat. She sighed in relief about that.

There was a sound to the side of them. Clary looked towards it and saw that Magnus was sitting up, looking a little dazed. She stood up and walked over to them. 

“Magnus?” she asked. “Are you okay?”

Magnus looked up at Clary. “Yeah,” he said. He then saw Alec laying on the ground. “Alexander…” He got up quickly.

“Jem?” Tessa whispered.

Magnus whirled around and saw Tessa bend over a figure. He glanced at Alec briefly, before taking a few big strides over towards Tessa. He got to his knees and gasped, eyes growing wide in disbelief.

Before him was the person that Brother Zachariah had been before he had become a Silent Brother. He looked young again, with pale skin and white hair. His runes were back in place. He was no longer a Silent Brother, but a Shadowhunter.

“Jem?” Magnus felt for a pulse and found it. So he was at least alive. That was good news.

Then Jem’s eyes opened rapidly and he sat up, looking around with wide eyes. He didn’t even have a chance to have a good look around before arms were around him.

“What’s happening?” Jem asked, concerned.

Tessa let out a sob, burying her nose in the crook of Jem’s neck. She couldn’t speak, too happy to have her old friend back.

Magnus smiled at Jem. “I believe the Angel granted you something,” he said, waving a hand at Jem’s figure. “You’re no longer a Silent Brother, James. You’re your old self.”

Jem blinked and looked down at himself. The robes he wore as a Silent Brother were too big on him. He could see the familiar runes in place. “But, why?”

“Does it matter?” Tessa let go and wiped her tears. She looked at Jem. “All that matters is that I have you back.”

Jem looked at Tessa and gave a small smile. “I suppose. But it’s curious, I didn’t make any wish or demand.”

“Did you think about it?” Magnus asked. “When the Angel asked you why you were here?”

Jem thought about that. “Perhaps,” he said. He shrugged and smiled. “Ah, it’s good to be back now. If only Will could get to see.”

Tessa sighed. The mention of Will continued to hurt her heart. It had been a long time since he passed away, but she missed him every day. “I know,” she said, looking at Jem. “I’m sure he’d be rather delighted.”

“I’m sure he would be,” Jem said and gave her a gentle smile.

“Magnus!” Izzy called.

Magnus looked towards the others and got up. He walked over to Alec, Izzy, Jace and Clary and got down on his knees. “Alexander?”

Alec opened his eyes and looked up at four worried faces. He groaned, slowly sitting up. He looked around. The clearing was empty, the Angel gone. He looked down and moved up his sleeve, checking his arms. This enchanted a bright smile to his face as the runes that had been so precious to him were back.

“How are you feeling?” Magnus asked, carefully observing Alec.

Alec looked toward Magnus and grinned. “I’m back,” he said and got up. The moment he was up, he was hugged by Magnus. Izzy, Jace and Clary joined in as well. He smiled and closed his eyes, enjoying the moment. It had been way too long since he had been able to remember everything. It felt good to be his old self again. He had missed this. He had missed his family, his husband, his parabatai and his friends. And now he had that all back, thanks to the Angel they had summoned.

Alec was grateful for this.

“Alright alright, I don’t need to choke,” Alec mumbled.

They let go. Magnus smiled. “So, you remember everything?”

Alec thought about that, then he nodded. “Yeah, I do,” he said. “Even my life as a mundane.”

“I remember you saying you appreciated them a little bit more,” Jace teased. “Just a while back, you said something like that.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Honestly, yeah sure. You couldn’t live as a mundane, Jace. You’d die of boredom and get locked up all the time.”

Jace raised an eyebrow. “I’d be the best mundane,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’d do it better than you.”

Alec laughed. “Sure,” he said.

“Guys,” Izzy said. “Stop bickering.”

Alec smiled and looked at Izzy. “Why? You must have missed that too, no?”

Izzy chuckled. “Maybe.”

“Well,” Magnus said with a shrug. “See, I told you not to worry about a thing, Alexander. I had it all under control.”

Alec turned to Magnus and grinned. “Right, is that why you admitted to being scared shitless?”

Magnus gasped. “I did not!” He shook his head dramatically. “I would never be scared.”

Alec smirked and pulled Magnus in by the waist. “Mhm,” he mumbled, then captured Magnus’s lips in a kiss. “I’ve missed you,” he said softly.

“I’ve missed you too,” Magnus said in return. He pulled back and smiled at Alec. Then he took a step back as Jem and Tessa joined them.

“I want you guys to meet an old friend of mine,” Magnus said. “Jem Carstairs. Though you’ve known him as Brother Zachariah.”

“Well, my name is James, really. But call me Jem.” Jem smiled at them and shook their hands. He looked at Alec. “Glad to see you’ve got your memories back.” Then he turned to Jace. Jace looked a little like Will, but different. The same kind of spirit though. It made him smile.

“It’s good to see a Herondale,” he said to Jace. “Your great-great-great-grandfather was my parabatai and the best Shadowhunter I ever came to know. I’m sure you’re a great Shadowhunter as well.”

Jace smiled politely. “Thank you,” he said. 

“Right!” Magnus clapped his hands together before this got weird, considering Tessa was, biologically speaking, Jace’s great-great-great-grandmother. “Alexander and I will be off for dinner,” he announced, swirling his hands to create a portal. He took Alec’s hand in his own. “See you all later.” He tugged Alec through the portal before any complaint could be voiced.

The portal shut behind them. Alec looked around, they were in front of a grand building. It was white and tall. There was a line outside, probably waiting to get into the building.

Magnus took Alec’s arm and gently guided him along. He strode up to the man outside that was holding the line back. He stopped in front of him and grinned. “Good evening sir, I believe I have a reservation.”

The man raised an eyebrow, then grinned back. “Well well well, Magnus Bane, is it?” He stepped aside. “Enter then.”

Magnus gave a quick nod and tugged Alec inside gently. The inside was rather fancy. The walls were white, decorated with red flowers. The carpet beneath them was red. It looked incredibly busy, but Magnus snapped his fingers and a table for two appeared for them in a quiet corner. 

Alec sat down and looked around, letting his eyes feast on the grand décor. He then looked towards Magnus and smiled. “This is really nice,” he said.

Magnus smiled back. “I have good taste,” he said. He called over a waiter and ordered for both of them, knowing exactly what he wanted for this dinner.

“Magnus,” Alec said, looking at him. “We need to talk.” His voice took on a serious tone.

“About what?” Magnus asked, raising a concerned eyebrow.

“About the fact that you were willing to give up your immortality,” Alec pointed out. Now it was his turn to look concerned. “We both know what happened the last time you did that,” he said, voice laced with a little bit of guilt.

Magnus sighed and looked at Alec. “Alexander, there nothing more that I want than to spend the rest of my life with you. And if that meant giving up my immortality, then I would have been good with that.”

Alec looked conflicted. He leaned back in his chair, trying to find the words to express his feelings. He was afraid that if Magnus had lost his immortality, they would have had a repeat of the last time. And he wasn’t ready for that. Now, obviously, Magnus was his immortal self, and Alec had his memories back, but he struggled with the idea that Magnus would have been so willing. After all, Alec was mortal and he would die at some point. And Magnus would have to live on.

“I just… I worry,” he said, looking down. “I worry Magnus that, when I die, you won’t be able to recover,” he mumbled. “Because I will die some day. And you’re immortal.”

Magnus reached over the table and took Alec’s hand. “Alexander,” he started. “You mean the absolute world to me. And I would have done anything to get you back. I realise that, some day, you are going to die. But that’s in the very far future. I just want to enjoy our life together, now that we finally can.”

Alec sighed and nodded, smiling at Magnus. “Okay,” he said. He decided to drop the subject, for now. He was certain that it would come up at some point during their life. But Magnus was right. They could finally enjoy their lives together and Alec was eager to start enjoying it as well. After all, he had missed out on a year of time to spend with Magnus. And that was simply too much.

The waiter came over, carrying two glasses which he set down. He left and returned a minute later with dinner. The two of them dug in.

Alec closed his eyes and let himself enjoy all of it. He thought back on the past year as a mundane and quietly wondered how he had held on for so long. He knew that was something he definitely didn’t want to experience ever again. Though he did gain some respect for the mundanes as a whole and he hoped that those he had met would have a good life. But he was more than glad to be back as a Shadowhunter. He would never willingly give that up, even if he did, perhaps, want a bit more of a quieter life. A higher position, in Alicante maybe even, together with Magnus. That would suit him, he was certain. And it would suit Magnus as well.

After all, being a Shadowhunter wasn’t a fabulous life. It was dangerous. Going out in the field and fighting demons was never easy and deaths happened all that often. He was certain that Magnus might be hesitant on that, considering Alec’s safety could never be promised. So that was another thing they would have to talk about.

Before he even realised it, his plate was empty. Alec blinked and looked down at it, wondering how that even happened. He hadn’t realised he had been that hungry at all. Though considering how little he had eaten as a mundane, he could quite imagine he was hungry.

Magnus chuckled as he watched Alec practically gorge down the food. It was endearing. “Do you want a second meal?” he asked.

Alec looked up at Magnus. “No,” he said. “Thank you.” He smiled and took a glass, raised it to Magnus briefly before taking a sip. As a mundane, his alcohol toleration level hadn’t been very high. Not that it was that high as a Shadowhunter, but it was better, he was sure. And otherwise he still had Magnus that could help him.

“What were you thinking about?” Magnus asked, taking a sip from his glass as well. He had seen the distant look in Alec’s eyes, the look that told him many thoughts were rushing through Alec’s brain.

Alec shrugged. “Nothing that matters at the moment,” he said and smiled. “Let’s just enjoy this. I’ve really missed spending time with you.”

“Mhm, okay then,” Magnus said as he finished his last bite. He wiped his mouth with the napkin and leaned back in his chair. “So, what do you want to do then?” he asked.

“So much,” Alec said and grinned. “All of it.”

Magnus grinned as well, mischievous. “Ah, well, we should get to it then.” He called over the waiter and paid for the dinner before getting up. He held out his arm for Alec.

Alec stood up and took Magnus’s arm, following the warlock back outside. He breathed in the night air. “What did you do when I wasn’t around?” he asked, looking at Magnus.

Magnus shrugged, taking Alec for a walk. “Not much, if I am honest.” At his wedding, when Alec had disappeared and he had found the note, it had broken his heart. And for many days, weeks even, all he did was lay in bed and stare ahead. It was Izzy that eventually managed to pull him out of it, by forcing him to attend dinner at Maryse’s. He could see that the rest were suffering as well.

The first few weeks had been full of uncertainty, since no one had been able to find Alec. And then he all of a sudden just turned up, working a job at the Starbucks and attending university. Magnus had never thought he would ever see Alec living as an actual mundane. He had never entertained that idea. But seeing his husband go through the motions like a puppet was something else. And it had given him encouragement to find a way to have him remember.

When Magnus had spotted the wedding ring that Alec was still wearing, it had given him hope. But then Izzy had found out and an emergency meeting had been called. The Clave decided then that no one was to interact with Alec. He was to be left alone.

However, Magnus simply couldn’t. He had spent his time with his nose in books, calling anyone he knew, in the hopes of finding an answer. But there simply wasn’t any. The Angels had enacted their plan and there was nothing that anyone had been able to do to change it.

“Magnus?” Alec asked, coming to a stop. “Are you okay?”

Magnus snapped himself from his memories. “Yeah,” he said. “I was just thinking back.”

“Oh.” Alec nodded and then remained quiet. “I’m really sorry that I put you through all that. As if you hadn’t been through enough, I managed to put you through this tough year as well.”

Magnus turned and looked at Alec. “Don’t apologise,” he said. “It hasn’t been easy for you either.”

“No,” Alec admitted. It definitely hadn’t been easy for him either.

“Come on, let’s not dwell on it too much. The past has happened as it has. Let’s focus on the future.” Magnus gave a gentle tug on Alec’s arm to have him come along.

“Well, in that case,” Alec started. “I think I want to move to Alicante.”

This halted Magnus in his tracks, his heart clenching. He turned to Alec. “If that is what you want,” he whispered.

“With you,” Alec added. “I was thinking, High Warlock of Alicante would be a suitable position for a warlock of your statue,” he said.

This had Magnus quiet. He had never considered that, because it had never been an option. Downworlders weren’t much welcome in Alicante. Only if they had to be. But then, they had saved the world from imminent disaster when Clary managed to kill her brother. So perhaps it was possible. He grinned.

“Yes, I do think that would suit me,” he said happily.

“Then let’s do that,” Alec said and pulled Magnus in for a kiss. “Let’s get remarried and do it right. I’ll send in an application for inquisitor. And I will have you with me, as High Warlock of Alicante. Because I love you and there is no way that I am not taking you everywhere I go.”

Magnus chuckled. “Sounds like a plan, Mr. Lightwood.”

“Agreed, Mr. Lightwood-Bane,” Alec said.

Magnus’s eyes glinted with happiness. He pulled Alec down for a kiss, tender and eager. He was certain now that the rest of his life that he would get to spend with Alec would simply be perfect. Because they were perfect and they were okay. And he was excited to get this started.

“We’re not getting remarried at the Institute, though,” Magnus warned as he pulled back. “This time, I’m choosing the venue.”

“Any venue of your choosing,” Alec agreed. “Plan it however you’d like.”

They continued on their walk, enjoying the evening as their bright futures laid ahead of them.


End file.
